Yaoi RRR
February 24, 2010 at 8:13 pm ebeth 58 comments
You know how this works! Round Robin ‘Riting, and the style is yaoi. Feel free to pretend to be male (I’m looking at you, Roozy) and make yourself a character in the story! Gary Stu’s totally welcome. Glisten and throb!
Entry filed under: Uncategorized. Tags: .
1.
misswan/madamesayswhat | February 25, 2010 at 5:14 pm
So, are we doing fandoms, or is this just make your own characters, or really are there any guidelines at all? *musing ideas*
2.
Beavo | February 25, 2010 at 6:33 pm
Are we continuing my rediculously awful one? If so, here ’tis. if not, feel free to completely ignore it.
Marikazukiku put the finishing touches on his black eyeliner with his muscular, tanned arm (that was still dripping from the shower he just took) and stood back to look at himself. His straight, blonde hair hung in a nonchalant way, his casual but crisp fitted shirt hung on him in a nonchalant way, his white was blue short shorts hung on him, in, well, a nonchalant way. He was overall kind of nonchalant looking. Nonchalant. Nonchalant. Over usage of the word Nonchalant are you tired of it yet.
He heard a pounding on the bathroom door. “MARIKAZUKIKU YOU NONCHALANT QUEEN I NEED TO USE THE BATHROOM I AM YOUR OVERLY ANNOYING STEREOTYPICAL TEENAGE LITTLE SISTER, REMEMBER? I SPEAK IN ALL CAPITAL LETTERS! LET ME IN, I’M HAVING MY PERIOD OR SOMETHING MALE WRITERS KNOW NOTHING ABOUT!”
He opened the door. “Hello, Mawasabileechang. You may use the bathroom,” he said in a very polite, soothing but still deep and kind of rough, like the guys you see on Abercrombie bags way (He also said it nonchalantly).
“THANK YOU VERY MUCH. YOU ARE VERY POLITE AND HOT, EVEN IF YOU ARE MY BIG BROTHER I LOVE YOU I ALSO DO NOT USE PERIODS, YOU SEE?”
“Yes, I do. I must go to school now. Goodbye.”
Marikazukiku walked to school. On the way, he met up with Zig, his best friend (and sometimes lover omgomgomg I don’t know how to foreshadow correctly so I’ll just blurt it out). “Hello, Marikazukiku,” said Zig. “You are looking really hot today.” Zig looked Marikazukiku up and down, from his perfectly tanned and toned legs to his carefully nonchalant nonchalant nonchalant hair.
Marikazukiku looked at Zig. Zig had straight black hair that spiked up in the back because he was Japanese and all Japanese people are born like that, even if his name was made up by someone who knows nothing about Japan, seriously, Zig lol. He also had perfect arms, sheathed (vocabulary word points) in a black T-Shirt for My Panic at the Chemical Charlotte Girls. His perfect legs (and perfect cock, lols) were in a pair of black skinny jeans, and he wore black and white checked Vans.
“Thank you, Zig. I’ve been wondering? Why does everyone tell me I look really hot all the time, and why does everyone always say my full name after a ‘hello’?”
“I don’t know, Marikazukiku. Maybe it’s just because we’re depthless characters and there is no real thought put into our dialogue, but that’s okay because we’ll have hot sex (with bad dialogue, too) later.”
“Seems sensible. I am a very deep character. I’m quiet and I like to read.”
“Reading is one of my fetishes. So is YouTube makeup tutorials and tape dispensers and camera flashes. School pictures were a bitch.”
“Okay. Let’s go to school and pretend we’re not going to have sex, but eventually do it in the stalls, which are uncharacteristically of a high school clean.”
“Okay.”
They walked the rest of the way in friendly, hot, sexy silence because that’s not an oxymoron or anything.
3.
Beavo | February 25, 2010 at 6:36 pm
BTDubs, my idea for this was sort of applying the My Immortal writing style plus witty commentary interspersed with the story to Yaoi. Thanks, Facebook pals, for insisitng I write something sexy. Look what happened.
4.
Jadestone | February 25, 2010 at 8:54 pm
Beavo I am successfully laughing, congratulations. Also, I will now be using “My Panic at the Chemical Charlotte Girls” to describe every emo band ever, regardless of what they are actually called.
5.
ebeth | February 26, 2010 at 7:59 am
hahaha win. the nonchalance is fantastic
6.
missswann/madamesayswhat | February 26, 2010 at 1:11 pm
Omg that was so supermegafoxyawesomehot. I think it needs to be a little bit more My Immortal [i]spelling[/i], however…
7.
Beavo | February 26, 2010 at 2:11 pm
The awful thing is I like My Chemical Romance and Panic! At the Disco.
But someone continue it pleez? Or I’ll be forced to write a sexyfail and everyone will be angry with me. It will not be funny. It will be disastrous.
8.
Beavo | February 26, 2010 at 8:06 pm
An addition from Clarissa.
***
There was supposed to be a big winter storm later. Nobody was quite sure why school wasn’t cancelled. The school board obviouslly didn’t know what they were doing. Marikazukiku and Zig stepped nonchalantly into the school. Everybody stared at them because they were very hot, and sexy too. All of a sudden, there was an announcement from the … See Moreprincipal, Mr. Kiroshawashimi.
“Good Morning, students. I apologize for the inconvenience, but we are going to have to go into lockdown. The weather is getting worse, we are expecting about 35 inches of snow, with winds up to 70 miles and hailstones the size of kumquats. Everyone is to file into the gymnasium immediately.”
“Shit..” Zig anxiously looked around to make sure that nobody was looking at him directly. “I just thought about Barack Obama and jizzed my pants.”
*** And from me, again.
“But dude, who’s Barack Obama?”
“I think he’s the lead singer of that Indie band (I listen to Indie because I’m deep and totally hot but nonconformist too, like the author, don’t JUDGE ME) They Might Be New Pornopavement Hotel Lips. He’s totally hot and he has sexy arms and they drip from the showers he’s constantly taking. He’s OCD, which also makes him hot. I love a man who can’t stand uneven pizza toppings. Mmmm. Shit, I jizzed again.”
“Dude, you need to stop jizzing, or you’ll run out of jizz.”
“But where is jizz made, Mirakazukiku?”
“I dunno. But probably somewhere hot. Let’s go to the gym and have an orgie.”
“What’s an orgie?”
“It’s a misspelled orgie, but the author is going to pass it off by pretending it’s just an orgy, but smaller in size.”
“Oh. So like a eightsome.”
“Yeah, basically.”
“Cool. Are there going to be photographers there?”
“Yeah. I know that turns you on, baby.” Marikazukiku touched Zig’s leg sexily, but with total nonchalance, like Indie guys who are totally nonchalant but sexy too.
“Not in school, Marikazukiku!” Yelled Zig loudly without attracting any attention whatsoever for yelling at all.
“When did you not like to do it in school? Remember when you sat next to me in A Generic High School Class last year and fondled me the whole time?”
“Of course I remember. We had a foursome with a teacher and his pet iguana.”
“Ooh, what a lovely image to remember?”
They stopped to imagine the wonderful image. Or, they would have, had a kumquat not smacked them in the face.
“I thought they said it was SNOWING like kumquats.”
A sexy nonchalant really tanned boy (because black people don’t exist in Yaoi) appeared. “No, it’s just kumquats falling from the sky. It’s one of my fetishes. Really turns me on.”
“Where did you come from?”
“I appeared. Ignore it.”
“Oh, all right. You’re Barack Obama, aren’t you?”
“Yes. Yes I am.”
“Wanna have a threesome with me and Marikuzakiku?”
“Yes we can.”
And they headed for the gym to head off a head of lettuce revolt headed by a severed head who liked to give head to buffalos. Also, to have sex.
9.
Mel | February 26, 2010 at 8:09 pm
I think I love all of you.
Sex scene:
“Zig put his penis in Marikazukiku’s penis. It was tight, and it hurt Marikazukiku but then Zig started moving it and he and his lover came at the same time.”
10.
Jadestone | February 26, 2010 at 8:43 pm
Oops, didn’t see this one XD
hahaha.
11.
Jadestone | February 26, 2010 at 8:42 pm
This sounds like an incredibly bad idea and I simply must be a part of it.
—
Marikazukiku and Zig parted ways as they headed to their lockers, unfortunately on opposite ends of the school. Marikazukiku cast a last, longing glance at Zig’s receding form (AND ASS LOLOL) before continuing on his way. Nonchalantly.
He nonchalantly walked into his first period class, flipping his perfectly straight blond hair out of his eyes.
“Hello, Marikazukiku,” giggled one of the girls who sat next to him. He smiled sexily. “Hello,” he replied, sexily. His tanned arms gleamed in the fluorescent lights.
“Did you do the reading?” The girl continued, gushing as she stared at his hot body.
“Of course I did, after all, I am a perfect character, so I am smart as well as sexy. But this makes me feel exiled, and lonely, and there is no one like me and no one understands.”
“What?”
“Yes, I read.” He sighed tragically, and opened his book as class begin. He stared at his book, thinking about how misunderstood he was, despite his perfection. He was all alone… except for Zig. (LOL GUSS WHAT HES THINKING ABOUT1)
—
Zig sat in class, daydreaming. He was imagining Marikazukiku hot, sexy body, being sexy and nonchalant.
“Zig, are you paying attention?” The teacher asked him, and he snapped out of his daydream.
“Of course, Mrs. Smith-san.” He said, inspecting his black nail polish.
But he continued to fantasize about Marikazukiku walking up to him, in his nonchalant way…
—
Iiiiii cannot do this. Haha. I keep laughing and trying to figure out how to make it clichér.
12.
ebeth | February 26, 2010 at 9:36 pm
Zig stormed through the halls sexily, pouting, but not in an annoying way because he is too hot to look stupid when he pouts. He was trying to look upset, but it only made him more sexy.
“What’s wrong, Zig?” one of the hottest girls in school swooned dreamily. Zig gave her a passing, uninterested glance and sighed wearily. He wasn’t in the least bit attracted to her, but he decided he would confide in her anyway since he was so caring and sensitive that he could open up to anyone.
“It’s been a whole day since that threesome,” he sighed moodily, brushing his dark hair back. His arm muscles flexed as he ran his delicate fingers through his glistening, soft hair. “but Marikazukiku hasn’t talked to me at all. I think he’s avoiding me.” Just then, he caught sight of Marikazukiku standing sexily down the hallway. “Marikazukiku!” he yelled anxiously. Marikazukiku’s eyes widened, and he took off running down the hall with long, powerful strides. Zig raced off after him.
Zig and Marikazukiku ran at the same speed, but fortunately Marikazukiku had to push through the crowd, which had cleared the way for Zig, so Zig caught up almost to his level. They ran neck and neck, panting heavily and giving each other longing, sexy glances. Both of them were covered in glistening sweat that outlined their bulging muscles as they ran athletically. They burst out the front doors, shoving them open with the force of their powerful hands.
“Marikazukiku,” Zig pleaded, as they ran. “Wasn’t it good? wasn’t it sexy, me shoving my engorged, throbbing penis into your tight, sexy ass? What was wrong with that night?”
“Nothing,” Marikazukiku said, looking sad. “Nothing went wrong at all. But i’m afraid, Zig. You are so sexy and powerful. With each deep thrust i could tell that you were going to come into me with the ferocity of a tiger and i wasn’t sure if i could keep up.”
Both of them by this point had slowed to a jog, and now they stopped underneath a cherry tree. it was blooming with flowers in a very suggestive and sexual way.
“Marikazukiku,” Zig said softly, running his delicate, pale hand down Marikazukiku’s perfect face. He was so close. Marikazukiku could smell his faintly minty breath. “You have no idea how fantastic you were. I completely forgot about the other guy, you were so good. To be honest, i didn’t know if i could match you. and when we came at the same time together, wrapped tightly around each other, all glistening oiled limbs and powerful muscles, and your huge, rock-hard penis, it was the most perfect moment of my life.”
Marikazukiku smiled softly. “I am so glad you felt the same way,” he said, slowly wrapping his leg around Zig. His thigh brushed softly at first around Zig’s, and he began gently to press against him, feeling his chiseled chest. Zig smiled as he felt Marikazukiku hard against his hips and pressed his soft lips to Marikazukiku’s. A cherry blossom fell, landing directly on Marikazukiku’s head, and Zig picked it up, smiling.
“Cherry blossoms are supposed to be soft, right?” he asked innocently. “Do you think they would work as lube?”
“I don’t think it would help, with the size of your hardened, throbbing manhood,” Marikazukiku said, laughing. Zig’s face fell.
“Fortunately,” Marikazukiku said, stepping forward sexily. “I just happened to bring my bag with me, and i have plenty stashed away in there.”
13.
Mel | February 26, 2010 at 11:12 pm
“…Kiku,” Zig breathed heavily, pushing Marikazukiku up against the tree trunk aggressively, biting at his neck.
Marikazukiku couldn’t speak. His body was on fire with extacy, and he could feel Zig’s throbbing erection through his clothing. Zig’s manly, deft hands (he played guitar, after all) worked their way over Kiku’s shuddering, glistening muscles.
Zig tried to pull his lover’s tight, black MCR shirt off, but it was caught against the hard, corrosive cherry tree bark. Frustrated, he grunted while kissing Kiku brusquely and ripped it clean off. Kiku blushed.
“You are so beautiful when you blush,” moaned Zig.
The blushing Kiku whispered urgently, “Zig, love, we’re out in the open, someone might see.”
“No, darling, we are the only people in the world.”
“Oh, Zig…”
Zig’s hands had slipped past Marikazukiku’s studded belt and gripped his precum-sticky cock.
“Zig…I…” Kiku whimpered.
“Shhh,” said the larger, more muscular man, placing a finger delicately on his lips. He whisked Kiku’s pants off and gently laid him on the soft dewy grass beneath the tree. The cherry blossoms rained upon the two like a fountain of glowing rosewater.
Zig took a moment to stare properly at his lover’s body so that the author could include a gratuitous description of him. Kiku’s blonde hair spread out upon the fresh green grass like the sunshine and his blushing cheeks matched the blossoms around them. Zig pulled off his shirt nonchalantly to reveal an expansive, strong chest, with tight abs and a nonchalant trail of black hair leading suggestively into his now-bulging pants. His pale skin and dark hair provided a stark contrast to his tender uke’s tan, blonde glow.
Feeling bold, Marikazukiku pulled Zig’s face toward his own and french-kissed him boldly. Something fell on him. It was a cherry from the cherry tree! Zig grinned mischievously, his spiky black hair making him look like quite the trickster. He slowly fed the cherry to Kiku, who sucked on it eagerly. Zig found more cherries, and after Kiku had chewed enough, he had him suck on his fingers, so that they were ready to enter him, and soft from the cherries too.
Zig ran his hands over the entirety of his friend’s naked, tight body, finally finding what he was looking for. He didn’t even bother to rim poor blushing Kiku. Zig shoved his fingers into Kiku’s tight, muscled ass and teased him until he squirmed.
“Nnnnnngh,” he moaned between gasps, trying to restrain himself. But it was too much “ZIG,” he screamed, shocked with himself.
“Let it all out,” said Zig throatily. At this point, Zig could no longer wait. Seeing Kiku throbbing and squirming in pleasure that was anything but nonchalant had excited him too much. He shoved his tight black pants down as far as they could go and, satisfied that Kiku was warmed up, he rubbed some cherry blossoms on himself and thrust his enormous penis into Kiku, who clenched in surprise. It was so tight now he could barely contain himself.
“Relax,” he grunted—no, barked at Kiku, who stammered and started to cry cutely. Zig immediately stopped, horrified at himself.
“Kiku, love… I…I’m so sorry, you know I was only…”
Kiku smiled submissively and said kinkily, “no, babe, do whatever you’d like to me. I’m all yours.”
The black-haired boy put on his trickester grin and covered Kiku’s mouth with one hand, using the other to grip his waist so that he could thrust deeper, harder, and faster.
Kiku was screaming, but they were screams of ecstasy. The pain had become his pleasure. He could feel the moisture between them as Zig’s hard abs rubbed against his also rather large manhood as he thrust in and out. He was so manly.
“MARIKAZUKIKU! KIKU!” said Zig as he came deep inside his best friend, his lover. He slumped on top of him, his pants still nonchalantly about his ankles. Kiku loved feeling Zig’s full weight on him, as he was heavy because he was so sexy and athletic. They embraced in a blanket of grass and cherry blossoms.
Groggy with sexy sexual delight, Zig pulled out and smiled softly at Kiku who said through pants, “You’re welcome.”
Zig slapped him playfully and it was totally hot because he was being so aggressive and dominant. He slowly made his way down to Kiku’s dick and said, before deep-throating him experiencedly, “Your turn.”
14.
Mel | February 26, 2010 at 11:12 pm
THERE EBETH AND BEAVO ARE YOU HAPPY.
I HATE MYSELF.
15.
ebeth | February 27, 2010 at 12:27 am
BUT WE LOVE YOU SO IT IS OKAY
16.
Jadestone | February 27, 2010 at 7:20 am
Kiku growled sexily. Neither of them paused to wonder at how a cherry-tree had managed to keep its blossoms through winter, and both forgot that a snowstorm was fast approaching. Kiku held his throbbing manhood in one hand and stood over Zig’s exposed body.
—
Just thought I’d point out the weather XD
17.
Beavo | February 27, 2010 at 8:21 pm
“It’s awfully warm for a snowstorm,” said Enoby (whoops).
“I’ll warm you up,” said Zig, who pulled out a second penis, which was even more nonchalant (we mean hard and covered in scotch tape) than his last one.
“Or maybe it’s because of us being covered in thermally insulating cherry blossoms? I think they use them in houses now. How are we going to fuck covered in cherry blossoms?”
“Silly, we can use half as lube and half as scenic imagery.”
“They’re kind of annoying. And so are the kumquats that keep smacking me in the– OW GODDAMN– face.”
“Well, how about we use the kumqats for something else?”
“Like what?” Kiku asked sexily, not caring at all about the answer because he’s a teenagers and they just don’t care what is wrong with today’s youth.
“How about we throw them at people while fucking?”
“We’re such badasses. But not you. You’re a good ass. Mmm, ass,” said Kiku, as his mouth was filled with one.
18.
tetracontakaidigon | February 28, 2010 at 2:38 pm
I love all of you so much for this. (I wish we had a yuri thread too…)
I was going to write something, but it will inevitably be disappointing. “Cherry blossoms are supposed to be soft, right?” he asked innocently. “Do you think they would work as lube?” is my AIM status for the forseeable future, I love it so much.
19.
kinky | February 28, 2010 at 8:19 pm
As Kiku eagerly rimmed Zig’s perfect asshole, it seemed to gleam like the golden anus of an unholy and nonchalant Christ Child. He was also rubbing Zig’s scotch-tape-covered second penis simultaneously at the same time.
“Oh God,” moaned Zig, “pull that tape off my cock like it’s a giant, throbbing, slippery tape dispenser.”
“Mmmm I want that big, nonchalant tape dispenser inside me…” Kiku managed to mumble somehow, even though his tongue was wedged between Zig’s perfect, Herculean buttcheeks. “I want it to shoot out thick ropes of sticky tape uncontrollably, like when the strip folds back on itself and sticks together, and you try to pull it apart, but it just keeps sticking in a longer and longer wad, and it’s really annoying.”
“Fuck, don’t stop,” escaped from Zig’s nonchalant mouth.
“It’s like a hard, veiny tape dispenser,”
“Oh,”
“Sitting on Barack Obama’s desk…”
“Christ,”
“Next to all of his books that he reads constantly…”
“Oh, Kiku,”
“While he’s getting his picture taken, with a Youtube makeup tutorial playing softly in the background…”
“God, that’s so hot,”
I think I’m gonna go ahead and let someone else finish this.
20.
tetracontakaidigon | March 1, 2010 at 6:37 pm
Simultaneously at the same time made my life. I can only write a poor homage.
“And when the photographer leaves, he walks nonchalantly over to the desk, seeing that his new 2010 “Stuff We Did And Why We’re Awesome And How We Brainwashed You To Buy Our Merchandise And Sacrifice Your First Born Child To Us” tour poster for My Panic at the Chemical Charlotte Girls is staring to droop…”
“oh Jesus, yes,”
“He runs a finger along the tape dispenser, and then another, faster.”
Marikazukiku demonstrated on the more nonchalant of Zig’s penises, without pausing in either his rimming or his rubbing, while he also tweaked one of Zig’s nipples with yet another hand.
Zig moaned, no longer able to make coherent noises.
“Slowly, Obama pulls on the end of the tape, gently, and then harder. The makeup tutorial in the background has long since ended, but it was only the start of a playlist containing many such tutorials.”
“God, please, more.”
“In this tutorial, a girl with black and red hair is screaming “Oh shit eyeliner doesn’t go there so much blood”. Obama has pulled off a long strip of tape by now, and he nonchalantly rips it off the dispenser.”
At exactly this point, Kiku squeezed Zig’s cock with just enough of his strength. Zig screamed in a mix of pain and pleasure, mostly pleasure, but with a little pain, and a little pain that was also pleasure. If the pain and pleasure in his scream were translated into a Venn diagram, the “pain” bubble would be almost completely inside the “pleasure” bubble, and would be a mere drop of precum compared to the monstrous torrent of semen Zig was soon to unleash.
“Obama smooths the poster against the wall with one long, sensitive finger, and then sticks the tape against the wall and poster. Then, overcome with emotion, he runs back to the tape dispenser.”
“shit, yes. yes. yes.”
“He picks up the dispenser, and takes from a small drawer in his desk a paradoxically large, and half-full, bottle of lube.”
“Don’t you fucking dare stop now,” Zig said, although that he was still coherent enough to say anything at all surprised Kiku more than anything. However, Kiku was talking despite his tongue being inside Zig’s ass, so he was not one to judge.
“The tape dispenser is large, at least a foot long, and six inches high. Barack pours lube over the dispenser, and then gently shoves it into his butt with much force.”
Zig started to orgasm nonchalantly, moaning loudly enough to remind the cherry tree that it was February instead of April and making all of the pale pink flowers fall. They mixed with his fountain of milky jizz in a mildly revolting, and yet strangely hot, scene.
I feel unclean. I can’t write any more right now, I need to go take a million showers.
21.
kinky | March 1, 2010 at 6:59 pm
20 – You need to learn to live with the squalor, and, eventually, to sink comfortably into it like a dirty and much sexed-upon couch. This is a masterpiece you’re writing.
22.
ebeth | March 1, 2010 at 8:37 pm
“demonstrated on the more nonchalant of Zig’s penises”
“Zig started to orgasm nonchalantly”
“They mixed with his fountain of milky jizz in a mildly revolting, and yet strangely hot, scene.”
oh my god love
23.
Mel | March 1, 2010 at 8:47 pm
20- You are the god of this thread.
24.
tetracontakaidigon | March 2, 2010 at 3:53 am
I do not have time for more now because I have to go to school, but here are a few notes on the next segment, if someone else wants them:
-Even though the moans are loud enough to remind the tree, it’s not loud enough to make anyone else notice that they’re fucking rather obviously (and nonchalantly) right outside the school, under a deciduous tree which now has no leaves.
-They have no blanket. The leaves are their blanket. Which means that they are lying on the ground. There are no rocks, unless they’re used as penetrative tools. I really hope they’re not, unless they’re oddly phallic rocks. Or unless they’ve been there before and planted dildoes that they painted gray. Just in case of a situation such as this. They also have no lube, except for the preestablished cherry blossoms, which are everywhere. So assume that they’re dripping in blossom lube.
-When did they lose their clothes? It does not matter. Nor does it matter if they will be returned before they go inside. If anyone notices, it will be how muscular and well-hung they are. Then they will have an orgy, and the other people will all worship them.
-That’s not until later, though! No refractory period is needed before Zig comes from his /other/ penis. And what about poor Kiku? Maybe he’ll scream loud enough for the impending snowstorm to notice. There must be at least one comparison between white droplets and snow.
25.
Mel | March 2, 2010 at 10:27 am
$gt;Maybe he’ll scream loud enough for the impending snowstorm to notice. There must be at least one comparison between white droplets and snow.
AVALANCE.
26.
Mel | March 2, 2010 at 10:28 am
Well my formatting was crap.
>Maybe he’ll scream loud enough for the impending snowstorm to notice. There must be at least one comparison between white droplets and snow.
AVALANCE.
27.
ebeth | March 2, 2010 at 2:02 pm
it is my opinion that this shirt, or some variation on it, should exist
http://www.customink.com/designs/mpatccg/16257744-3536265/hotlink?cm_ven=hotlink&cm_cat=1&cm_pla=Body_img&cm_ite=designfront
28.
Jadestone | March 2, 2010 at 3:26 pm
Yes.
Which reminds me of a section I was going to write once all the sex is finished (for now, I’m sure it’ll come back… again and again…).
29.
penguini | March 2, 2010 at 5:05 pm
I was actually thinking of making a band shirt (pretty much so I can play with fabric paint and possibly spray paint). I can upload my horrid sketches for critique (but i won’t unless people want).
30.
Fortune Cell | March 2, 2010 at 5:06 pm
I want!
31.
ebeth | March 2, 2010 at 5:51 pm
want
32.
penguini | March 3, 2010 at 2:56 pm
gettin’ right on it
33.
penguini | March 3, 2010 at 6:00 pm
http://penguiniandcompany.wordpress.com/2010/03/03/my-panic-at-the-chemical-charlotte-girls/
there ya go. input appreciated.
34.
ebeth | March 3, 2010 at 6:26 pm
ahaha brilliant!
35.
penguini | March 10, 2010 at 5:27 pm
http://penguiniandcompany.files.wordpress.com/2010/03/colorpanic.jpg
AND THERE WAS SOME COLOR.
feel free to steal the image and rework it as you see fit.
36.
Ebeth | March 10, 2010 at 9:13 pm
i would legitimately buy this shirt if you want to make one
37.
penguini | March 11, 2010 at 1:14 pm
I’m making one for myself so it shouldn’t be too hard to make another/more. I’m thinking that they would cost about $10 to cover the cost of the shirt and shipping.
38.
tetracontakaidigon | March 2, 2010 at 5:21 pm
I am not sure when I will have both time and inclination to keep writing. The notes are so someone else can continue, there’s this echoing lack of yaoi today, I hope it’s not because you’re waiting for me.
Also, I’d wear the shirt. There should be too many bright colors, and maybe it should mention a tour (although not specific dates, too much work). If you think of a better tour name, it’s for 2009…
and. neon black paint on a black shirt.
39.
misswan/madamesayswhat | March 4, 2010 at 10:00 am
God, this whole thread…. beautiful. Indescribably beautiful. Like, belongs-in-the-Louvre beautiful.
I might add to the beauty…. eventually… XD
40.
kinky | March 4, 2010 at 8:31 pm
After 40 hours, Zig finally ceased his nonchalant convulsing due to the tape-dispensing orgasm Kiku had given him. At this time, Kiku found his entire, suddenly nude body to be coated in a thick, viscous layer of equal parts cheery blossoms and Zig’s semen. Kiku had an enormous cock. Whipping out a family size bottle of poppers from his pocket that he didn’t have because his clothes were stolen by a mischievous yaoi gremlin, he began to ease his exceptionally well-lubed and, as stated, absolutely fucking huge penis into Zig’s tight, yet nonchalant asshole.
* * * * * * *
Kiku’s massive and throbbing erection was so massive and throbbing that the first time he masturbated, he thought the wrath of the horrible monster attached to his groin had been aroused (lol) and it had vomited forth deadly poison upon him as his punishment. When he did not die, he decided maybe the monster was just sick. Sex ed was awkward. Gym class even more so. In fact, Kiku’s entire adolescent life was awkward beyond belief, and the bullying he received due to his literal third leg was at times unbearable. However, he would see who was laughing when he went out for the track team.
* * * * * * *
As Kiku returned from his meditation on his life up to this point, he realized that, due to the massive amount of 100% natural and organic lube covering his entire person, coupled with his violent, passionate, intense, ravenous, nonchalant thrusting, his entire body had actually slipped inside Zig’s beautiful, perfect rectum. He could hear Zig moaning through his intestines, and he thought he could also hear the sound of Zig unzipping his black, skintight hipster jeans that he got from Aeoueouieoueoropostale to free his third penis, this one nonchalantly glamorous from the many youtube makeup tutorials tried out on it. Kiku continued thrusting as best he could, hoping the ensuing cum volcano would be powerful enough to blast him out of Zig’s colon.
41.
peary moppins | March 5, 2010 at 3:05 pm
*reads thread*
*blinks rapidly*
Haha, this is lovely. Dirty, slightly humorous, but lovely.
42.
Beavo | March 7, 2010 at 10:44 am
I feel like my baby Yaoi has grown into a fully fledged pedophile Yaoi.
***
Barack Obama, sat at his desk, viewing Kiku’s entrance into Zig’s body from carefully planted cameras in the rock-dildoes. He masturbated silently as the YouTube makeup tutorial ended and a song, You’d Better Not Fucking Tell My Mom, She Wouldn’t Understand And Would Ground Me for Five Minutes came on. His silent, nonchalant, sneaky and sexy villainous (shit, I really need a book on foreshadowing luls) masturbating reached his peak and he found himself covered in the chocolate ice cream that was his seed.
“Mwahahaha!” He cried, as he fingered himself and arched over his desk. “I have a super evil sexy plan for these two! And they don’t know it! And I am a villain! And I am cool!”
Just then, his wife-robot entered the room.
“Michelle, would you hand me a towel? I want to soak up the chocolate ice cream that is my seed and drink it.”
Michelle removed a towel from her torso with her perfectly sculpted arms (seriously, I want to steal her arms).
***
Back at school, Kiku had just finished examining Zig’s entestines and they both were laying in a heap, panting nonchalantly, covered in pretty much everything possible to be covered in.
Kiku was just about to pronounce his everlasting love and affection and sex and penis and love did we already say that? and whatever else he was going to pronounce when Zig stood. “I think we’re going to be late for class.”
“Oh noes! I forgot we have school like every other teenager in the planet! What a hell hole it is! Let’s complain about how unfair our lives are for a while! Here, pour this mustard all over my left arm while I wave it around emphatically.”
And they did. And it was sexy.
43.
Human no.4723985142978141622 | April 20, 2010 at 9:20 pm
Marikazukiku and Zig ran back towards the school in the strange mixture of snow and cherry blossoms that coated the ground. Suddenly Marikazukiku stopped, just before they got back to the doors of the school.
“I left my belt by the tree, Zig! We have to go back and get it!”
“Oh, Marikazukiku! But we will be late for class and if we are late one more time, Snap will cut off our heads!”
“But Ziiiiiiiiiiig; I neeeeeeeed my belttttttttt.”
“Okay, Marikazukiku. I will sacrifice myself for your happiness. I will go on a quest to retrieve your belt from beneath the tree that we just came from! And I will do it nonchalantly!”
“Oh, Zig, you are my hero!”
Marikazukiku put the back of his hand to his head like a damsel in distress and swooned as he watched Zig run back to the tree, that happened to be about 40 feet south of where he stood now, like the brave young wipper-snapper that he was.
As Zig ran back towards the school, and his ultra sexy lover, they heard the bell ring. Zig handed Marikazukiku the belt, but looked down at his feet ashamed.
“I am so sorry, Marikazukiku. I’ve made you tardy for class. It is my fault, I didn’t run fast enough. I am such a failure as a human. I wish you could forgive me.”
Marikazukiku looked at Zig with tears in his eyes. He put his hand on the side of Zig’s face and lifted his chin so they were staring into each other’s eyes nonchalantly.
When Zig saw that Marikazukiku was crying, he fell to his knees in agony for causing his beautiful butterfly to feel any pain.
Suddenly, a girl with long black hair and black lipstick and red fishnet leggings with safety pins all over them and a leather mini skirt and 7 inch heals and a black NeverScreamInAgonyCosYourEarsAreFallingOffNever! t-shirt walked by. She had a glass of blood in her hand and was sipping from it. The unidentified girl with “enoby” black hair was not watching where she was going, and she stepped on the belt with the heal of her high shoe. The clasp of the belt broke. Not even noticing, the girl walked off.
Marikazukiku stared wide-eyed, but still nonchalantly, at the broken belt. His mouth opened slightly as he let out a gasp. His belt. It was… Broken.
The world seemed like it was crashing down around him. How could the belt break? It was so precious to him. It was his only friend back when he was in middle school. That belt had always been there for him, and Zig had just risked his life for the belt…and now it was dead.
Marikazukiku let out a shrill scream that caused the entire world to stop what they were doing and mourn for what had just went down. He screamed and screamed nonchalantly until one of his lungs collapsed and he passed out.
Zig, who had just been standing and watching this whole time, pulled out his mobile and dialed 999, only to realize that he is not in England, but in Utah. So he hung up sexily and dialed 911.
“Hello, what is your emergency?”
“My sexy nonchalant lover! He was sexily screaming and then he just collapsed! I need an ambulance. But make it get here fast, not walk as the word ambulance implies!” ((anyone who knows Latin or has a good understanding of etymology will be rolling their eyes at me now.))
“Yes sir, we will hurry our very very fastest! This world cannot afford to lose another sexy, nonchalant human being!”
And soon after that the paramedics showed up. They brought two ambulances. One for Marikazukiku and one for the belt.
Zig watched as the sirens faded into the swirling wing and snow as he then walked on foot to the hospital.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A/N: How’s that for a twist?
44.
Fortune Cell | April 20, 2010 at 9:51 pm
God, I have no idea who you are, but I am entirely enamored by the fact that your first post on FMB was this.
45.
Jadestone | April 21, 2010 at 3:40 am
Ditto.
That was awesome
46.
Ebeth | April 21, 2010 at 6:50 am
i third the love
47.
Human no.4723985142978141622 | April 21, 2010 at 3:11 pm
Haha, Thank you! I always write better when I’m overly sleep deprived.
xD
48.
Vendaval | April 21, 2010 at 1:22 pm
Ambulance! Ha!
This is all such great writing on such a trashy story it is fantastic.
49.
Human no.4723985142978141622 | April 21, 2010 at 5:03 pm
Haha, yes, do you get it? O.O Ambulance comes from the latin word ambulat meaning ‘to walk’ xDD
50.
Vendaval | April 24, 2010 at 6:56 pm
Haha, yes, it’s also French, but that’s from Latin of course.
51.
K93D6889 | May 16, 2010 at 10:06 am
got you, gabriel
52.
Human no.4723985142978141622 | May 16, 2010 at 7:53 pm
Haha! But even now, You are caught in an endless spiral of fake accounts and strange personas. c:
53.
Jadestone | April 24, 2010 at 2:31 pm
Zig had only just made it to the siedwalk in front of the school (he had to stop twice and recover after being hit by falling kumquats) when he helt a firm hand grasp his shoulder. Usually this would have turned him on as anythign firm did, but he was too filled with sorrow and sadness and depression to notice. It was the principal, Mr. Kiroshawashimi.
“Zig, you must come back to school! It is too dangerous to walk all the three blocks to the hospital! Besides we are technically in a lockdown and I have decided to actually assert my authority now even though I seemingly did not notice when you were having hot gay sex under the cherry tree. Actually I was just watching from inside but if that were to get out then the police would be involved in this story, and they are so very
not nonchalant.”Zig hardly heard the mans words. He needed to get to his lover and find some way to repay him (hopefully it would involve tape dispensers (AND COCKS)).
“I must go to Marikazukiku!” He said firmly, although this time he was slightly aroused by the firmness of his voice. “I failed him once, I can’t not not let it happen again!”
And he began to walk forward again, dodging kumquats and trailing cherry blossoms.
—
Marikazukiku lay nonchalantly in the hospital bed. He looked peaceful and sexy and serene and hot and also nonchalant and sexy did I mention? His belt was on the other bed in the room. Both were hooked up to various flashing machines, which would doubtlessly excite Zig when he arrived.
He slowly and nonchalantly regained consciousness. “Zig?” He whispered. Then he remembered the sex they had had and smiled. Then he remembered his belt and started to cry nonchalantly. He was also upset because he had only taken three showers that day (two in the morning at home, and another in the school locker room while he made out with (FUCKED) Zig) and while he was sleeping nonchalantly had dried off and he was no longer sexily glistening.
A single tragic tear rolled nonchalantly down his perfectly tanned cheek, glittering in the fluorescent light.
—
Oh god I hate myself for this already and I haven’t even written a sex scene.
Also Human, how did you find FMB? Should I know who you are?
54.
Human no.4723985142978141622 | April 24, 2010 at 10:10 pm
You might know who I am, but I’m not positive.
I do fancy being anonymous, though xD I’m like my own little secret…
55.
Human no.4723985142978141622 | April 24, 2010 at 11:58 pm
Once out of range of the falling kumquats and cherry blossom leaves, Zig could begin thinking of what he will do once he arrived (arove?) at the hospital. He must have the perfect plan of what to do and what to say so that he would be able to help Marikazukiku through his terrible accident.
As Zig pondered such things, he scratched at the back of his perfect head with his perfect hand which happened to be attached to his perfect wrist bone, which was in turn attached to his perfect arm bone, and so on.
Zig sighed. He could not think of anything to say to his best friend/lover.
“I can think of anything to say!” he said to the air, because people totally do that in real life.
Suddenly, an idea hit him. Or maybe it was just a stray kumquat. We’ll never know. Either way, Zig began sprinting towards the flower shop, which was luckily still open despite the snow.
As he slammed open the door, everyone in the tiny flower shop smiled in awe of his sexiness and nonchalantity. (Yes. I’ve made it a state of being noun.)
“I NEED THE PERFECT BOUQUET OF FLOWERS FOR MY LOVER!!!!1!! STAT!” he shouted at the sales staff and at his command they duly ran off to gather flowers for his epic win bouquet.
After it had been brought to him, he payed for it in bubble money and left the store, yet again, sprinting.
It was no time (literally, because this is a story. And I skipped right to this part. I can do shit like that.) until Zig was at the steps to the hospital. Flowers in hand, he entered.
Zig nonchalantly walked up to the check in counter, stated his business, and was allowed to find his own way through the labyrinth of hospital halls to where Marikazukiku was staying, passing the occasional old person.
Many steps, and about nine old people, later, Zig found Marikazukiku’s room. He peered inside to see him asleep in his bed. Just the sight of his sexy nonchalant lover who he occasionally had sex with made his heart ache. It must have been the whole ‘hospital bed’ thing. It’s a bit unnerving.
He stepped inside and put the bouquet on the table.
Zig sat in a chair right next to Marikazukiku’s bed. However, in the chair was Zig’s nemesis: unnoticed gum.
The unnoticed gum made contact with the seat of Zig’s trousers, making itself no longer unnoticed. Zig, in his panic, tried to stand up, but the gum was now stuck to his butt. With no other choice, he was forced to remove his pants. (How convenient.)
Just as he was folding them and setting the trousers on the bedside table, Marikazukiku woke up.
“Zig? Zig is that you? Wh…why are you not wearing pants?” he asked nonchalantly.
Zig, unable to either answer or control himself in any way, really, leaned forward and forcefully kissed Marikazukiku.
“I was so worried about you! I’m so glad you are not dead!” he cried. A small trail of saliva connected their mouths.
Zig leaned down and began to kiss him more slowly, his tongue gently caressing his lover’s lips. He climbed into the bed and pulled them closer together, leaving not a gap of space between their bodies as he began to grind their hips against each other. Zig’s skilled fingers quickly undid Marikazukiku’s pants and quickly pulled them off.
He was delightedly surprised to discover that Marikazukiku was not wearing underpants.
“I’ll be your nurse.. I think I will distribute your medication now.” Zig said as he kissed his way down Marikazukiku’s chest and stomach. Once he reached his destination, he grinned.
The, now naked, man blushed, slightly embarrassed by his exposed body and tried to cover himself by bringing his legs to his chest, but Zig just pulled them away again. Eventually he gave up on trying to hide himself and just let Zig attend to him.
Zig smiled again as his small pink tongue poked it’s way out to meet the head of his lover’s throbbing erection.
Marikazukiku twitched slightly, giving Zig all the heads up that he needed before diving right into the act. He slowly bobbed his head, sucking his cock, all the while looking up into his lover’s eyes.
Marikazukiku moaned softly “Oh..fuck..Zig…” and arched his back slightly as he ejaculated into Zig’s mouth, who promptly swallowed the cum greedily.
It was at this point in time that the belt sat up.
“Um../hello/ I’m kind of sleeping right here! I don’t appreciate being woken up by your goddamn sex noises all the time. It’s bad enough that I have to hear it when I’m on the floor in your bedroom, but like…seriously. Oh my god, you guys. We are in the goddamn hospital.” said the belt.
Zig stared daggers at the belt for ruining the beautiful moment he was having with his nonchalant lover. It was also at this point that a kumquat decided to hit him in the back of the cranium.
“FUCK. WHERE DO THESE KEEP COMING FROM?” he screamed.
“Oh..I love kumquats!!” said Marikazukiku cheerily as he picked up the fruit, rolled it between his fingers, and ate it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A/N: Yeah…that is my brain at 4am. I think I need sleep right now, but I thought I would just let you all know that that is actually how you eat a kumquat. You have got to roll it around in your fingers to let out the essential oils and stuff before you eat it.
Any-who; night night.
56.
Maths Lover ♥ | August 9, 2010 at 2:42 am
Just so people know, this thread exists. If I had any yaoi-writing skills whatsoever I’d contribute, but as I don’t and am one of those annoying people who has a thing for reviving threads, I’ll just post this.
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58.
Castle | September 20, 2011 at 5:28 pm
This is the most entertaining thing I have EVER read. In my entire life.