Love Lives and Lack Thereof
December 19, 2007 at 2:23 am Fortune Cell 553 comments
Crushing? Crying? Bemoan your sorrows and exult in your joys here in all matters related to romance.
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1.
MontgomeryGurl | December 19, 2007 at 2:35 am
First. Post. Ever.
I have no crushes on anyone at all. I feel so unspecial.
2.
Megan- VF | December 19, 2007 at 2:38 am
i fall into category no. 2
3.
Glasseh | December 19, 2007 at 2:40 am
And category #2=?
4.
Pan | December 19, 2007 at 2:47 am
We went through 9 R&R threads this year. HOW do people have so much to talk about?
5.
MontgomeryGurl | December 19, 2007 at 2:49 am
4- Because people feed on drama. Without drama, they would die of boredom.
*goes to the stabbing thread to stab drama*
6.
PENTAY | December 19, 2007 at 2:57 am
4 (Pan)- Also, because they are eleven years old and think looking at someone of the opposite sex in the hallway makes you an omgh0r.
Will post about complicated romantic situation LATARZ.
7.
ebeth91 | December 19, 2007 at 3:24 am
Hey, i can actually hang out on this thread because people will listen and not be uber-hormonal and weepy!
Actually, there’s not much to listen to. i don’t like anybody right now. most of my friends are convinced that a friend and i like each other, which is awkward, but apart from that the love life is nonexistant.
8.
Megan | December 19, 2007 at 3:27 am
category 2 = lackthereof
unfortunately.
9.
MontgomeryGurl | December 19, 2007 at 4:16 am
My romantic situation is about as uncomplicated as you can imagine: There’s no one. No one likes me, I like no one. I am joyful to be free of the horrible drama and “OMG I wanna dieeeee”ness of a romantic relationship, but… yeah.
My best friend made me go see Becoming Jane, because (and I quote) “She’s so much like you! Her whole attitude about love and marriage and all… y’all are exactly alike.” Yeah, then I went and saw the movie, and it looked like some kind of complete hell (I liked the movie, but, god, I so don’t want that to happen to me). Now I’m convinced that I will never ever find anyone who understands me and shares my values and is intellectually stimulating and is interested in me. And I think I don’t care.
Apparently, being uninterested in guys and not being a lesbian is some kind of conundrum unallowable by society. I am supposed to have some sort of romantic attachments, or I am a half of a person. Being totally romantically uninvolved and being totally okay with that is probably the least accepted behavior imaginable in some circles I have had reason to be in contact with. I think people would find it less startling if I said that I was already married and had six husbands.
I officially don’t need a guy. I would rather have a best friend, nothing romantic or complicated. And this desire to have things remain uncomplicated is itself a complication in my life.
In other news, my aunt is getting divorced. Again. It’s like a week before Christmas, and her and her husband and her kids were all going to come to visit over Christmas and we were going to meet him for the first time. My aunt got in to an “altercation” with his daughter (which ended in the police being called) and he wouldn’t help my aunt at all or back her, so my aunt threw up her hands and said she couldn’t live this way anymore. It was stupid from the beginning, but… ugh. A week before Christmas. I was really hoping it would work out, that maybe Aunt Dawn wouldn’t be cursed forever. I wish I could believe that two people could be in love forever.
P.S. Ebeth and VF say their posts aren’t going through. Is there a problem here, my dearest moderator?
10.
Fortune Cell | December 19, 2007 at 5:00 am
Most of you guys here already know, but I’ll post this here for those who don’t.
Basically these two freshman girls found out that I’m crushing on M, and then decided to send a candygram to him from his “secret admirer”, in hopes that he’ll think it’s me or something.
They haven’t been sent out yet, so it’s not uberweird moment yet…
however…on the way back from dinner, R (one of the girls) was like “I saw M today!”
“uhm, k.”
really not a big deal, especially considering we’re all in the same French class.
“you missed out! he took his shirt off!!!”
“…”
it was a very big wtf moment.
11.
schoonLee | December 19, 2007 at 6:22 am
10- ah that could turn out well or bad. luck.
ah. well i won’t talk about my crush in the hopes that (like HW according to jade) it will go away. but i will rant a bit about one of my best friends who i used to like and still sorta do but i’m not his type and we tried and it didn’t work out and yeah. i’m done. (not really)
and i hate it when he sends me love songs because they’ll never pertain to me, even when we were trying. our song (in case you’re wondering) is “scenes from a coffee house” by blessid union of souls, if you interpret the “you’ll always be mine’ bits as “no matter how mad you are, you always come back” but its me that gets mad. *sigh* hormones are so not cool.
12.
Jadestone | December 19, 2007 at 2:17 pm
11- Indeed…
13.
Fortune Cell | December 19, 2007 at 2:40 pm
11- argheth.
There’s this kid J who still is flirting with me…today he got me a tangerine, unasked and it doesn’t seeeem like much, but it shows he was thinking about me and my extraordinary love of tangerines…
14.
MontgomeryGurl | December 19, 2007 at 3:17 pm
13 – That has got to be one of the strangest things I’ve ever heard of in my life. “There’s this kid who’s flirting with me. Today he got me a tangerine.”
Before birth control, women used to use half of a lemon to prevent pregnancy. So maybe he’s sending you a subtle message with that tangerine.
15.
Fortune Cell | December 19, 2007 at 4:30 pm
14- Yes, I know it sounds like a strange method of courting, but it really was sweet…especially cus the lunch line was reeaaaaallly long today.
16.
MontgomeryGurl | December 19, 2007 at 4:38 pm
15 – Yeah, I’m sure it made more sense in person. Most things are better in context.
You know, I’m really glad I’m not dealing with anything romantic in my life. Just my friendships are so insanely stressful that I want to kill myself some times. Bleugh.
I totally just noticed that the words that make up the title of this thread all start with the letter “L”. That is amazing.
17.
Fortune Cell | December 19, 2007 at 4:57 pm
16- Wow…
took you a while.
18.
MontgomeryGurl | December 19, 2007 at 5:06 pm
17 – I’m not exactly known for noticing details. I’ve been known to spend all day with a person, and then at the end of the day say “Hey… that’s a really cool shirt.”
19.
schoonLee | December 19, 2007 at 5:52 pm
13- actually thats really sweet. >.< my ex brought me lunch at work when i didn’t have time to make myself one. but it just annoyed my boss…
18- i’m the same way. lol.
20.
Potato Chip (Kelly) | December 20, 2007 at 2:37 pm
16- Yes, alliteration! I didn’t notice until you pointed that out.
I enjoy being friends with guys, but it always seems to end in everyone thinking we like each other or the guy having a crush on me, when I don’t like him in that way.
I’m too shy.
21.
Sweet Melpomene (Mel) | December 20, 2007 at 3:20 pm
9- “Apparently, being uninterested in guys and not being a lesbian is some kind of conundrum unallowable by society. I am supposed to have some sort of romantic attachments, or I am a half of a person.”
YOU ARE MY HERO.
Life is good. That is all.
22.
MontgomeryGurl | December 20, 2007 at 3:35 pm
21 – Of course I’m your hero. We’re each other’s role models, remember? It would follow naturally that we are each other’s heros.
23.
oxlin | December 20, 2007 at 4:22 pm
9, 21, 22- you’re both my heros!
Really, all the R+R ers of MB seem to think that one must be in a relationship to be complete. Harrumph. Though I wouldn’t mind being in one with a select few girls and guys (yes, I’m bi) I don’t crave one to complete me or something. I’m perfectly whole as a single person, thank you very much.
24.
MontgomeryGurl | December 20, 2007 at 4:28 pm
23 – It’s like people are so emotionally crippled that they have to have a boyfriend to believe that they’re likeable. I have some guy friends, I like talking with them, they might be cute. I don’t have to pursue them. I don’t need them.
25.
Potato Chip (Kelly) | December 20, 2007 at 6:33 pm
I’m actually a little bit more uncomfortable in a relationship than just being really really good friends.
I should probably work on the being really good friends bit. We were last year… now I feel like we never talk. He doesn’t dislike me, I dunno if he likes me. He’s kind of shy too, and smart.
26.
Sweet Melpomene (Mel) | December 21, 2007 at 12:36 pm
22- Heehee, of course!
I couldn’t agree more with all of you.
27.
FrigidSymphony | December 22, 2007 at 5:05 pm
I love sex. Have it thrice a week. With handcuffs. And shit.
28.
Fortune Cell | December 22, 2007 at 5:14 pm
27- Hah, my friend just read that and she says:
“Thrice a week? That’s nothing, compared to what I get every. Single. Day. Not just handcuffs, either.”
Then she went on a bit about her girlfriend and boyfriend.
29.
(Sweet) Mel(pomene) | December 22, 2007 at 5:22 pm
27- I heart handcuffs!
30.
FrigidSymphony | December 22, 2007 at 5:25 pm
28: Ahah! Well, in my defence, if were living with my girlfriend, I’d have sex at least twice a day. But when you’re sixteen and you’re girlfriend’s 18, you still can’t live together. And if it were up to me it’d be more than handcuffs.
31.
Fortune Cell | December 22, 2007 at 5:27 pm
30- “Hah! Loser.”
32.
FrigidSymphony | December 22, 2007 at 5:28 pm
31: Why is that? And how old are you anyway?
33.
Fortune Cell | December 22, 2007 at 5:35 pm
32- That’s what she said, hence the quotes.
We’re both 15.
34.
schoonLee | December 22, 2007 at 5:57 pm
hm. i tend to agree that you don’t need a significant other to be complete though that philosophy hasn’t stopped me hitting on people. unfortunatly.
actually i was talking to my english teacher the other day and it came up in discussion that most of my friends were guys. my “uber close friends”, its even, but then the “close friends” its 2:1 in favour if guys, and then i tend to enjoy hanging out with the guys in my classes alot more than the girls cept my ‘posse’ as said english teacher described my friends.
25-i know exactly what you mean… (see my earlier post)
35.
MontgomeryGurl | December 22, 2007 at 10:20 pm
26 – Maybe we shouldn’t be each other’s role models. We’ll end up going in circles.
So I was hanging out with some couples that I know today. I looked around and realized that I really don’t want what they have. I don’t want those kind of stupid, trivial relationships, and I don’t want to be the kind of girl that the guys around here would like. My brother tells me that guys might like me if I was “more of a girl”. Screw that. I’d rather be single forever.
36.
Mel | December 23, 2007 at 8:10 am
Longish response to 35:
Haha, yeah. ‘t would be confusing.
And same here [as if you couldn't guess]. Isn’t it so frustrating how so many people’s lives seem to revolve around “omg yay i has a b/gf!” and/or “omg i needs a b/gf!”?
All the power to you, though, in your refusing to change who you are just so some boy would like you. [This is the reason I absolutely HATEHATEHATE Grease, despite its being a musical.]
Seriously though. Yeah, I swing both ways, but for some reason most of the people I know think I’m a lesbian “because… well, your haircut, and the way you dress… they aren’t very feminine…”
-_- Apparently everyone who doesn’t look overly feminine is only interested in women.
I don’t know what’s so weird about the fact that I have really short hair [Not quite 'butch', but I look like Zac Efron if I put it behind my ears and stick my bangs halfway in my face. Seriously. Check my Facebook if you have it in the near future to gaze upon my golden locks.] and wear baggy jeans/t-shirts most of the time. Unless it’s baggy jeans and tight sweaters [what is up with sweaters? I can't find any that aren't skin-tight! Okay, except for maternity ones... but that would be kinda weird...], in which case I look “surprisingly like a girl.” Thank you sooo much.
And then couple that with the fact that I’m planning on majoring in Math and Physics and [Aerospace?] Engineering [and ignore the fact that I'll probably minor in English Lit]… I’m stereotypically manly.
I think I’ll become a drag king right now.
End rant.
37.
MontgomeryGurl | December 23, 2007 at 11:16 am
36 -
Why can’t those people just be happy by themselves? I always thought the point of a significant other was that you met someone that you really liked and you decided to become more than friends, not that you decided you needed a significant other and went out and found someone who would do.
I will never understand the “He likes blondes, so I’ll dye my hair” type mentality. You want him to like someone that isn’t you? You want him to like this random facade you put up?
Oh yes. Your haircut is a good indicator of who you’re interested in. Y’know, because if you’re like, a lesbian you’ll like, cut your hair short. And if you’re like, not a lesbian you’ll grow it out longer. Looking like Zac Efron doesn’t mean much. He’s sort of a little girly boy anyway.
Your fashion choices are scarily like mine. I never wear sweaters, because I’m not thing enough to pull it off. I look less femine the nicer my clothes are, like the contrast just makes my unfeminity stick out more. So I avoid them. Plus, I can’t afford them. My body just doesn’t fit right in to skinny clothes, so I sometimes have to shop in the boy’s section to find something that isn’t skin tight. So I already am a drag king, I beat you to it.
38.
kricket | December 23, 2007 at 11:43 am
36/37- Gah. I dislike people who think that if you dress in not so girly clothes you’re a lesbian. I haven’t heard the hair thing though. Strange. I don’t like sweaters very much, but sometimes my parents will be like “YOU NEED TO WEAR A SWEATER!” if we’re going somewhere nice (It seems that sweaters are like the only thing that I have for some reason that is long-sleeved… and kinda nice looking.) I like sweatshirts very much though.
Just some hermit up on a mountain that people think is crazy. I think that would be funny. Scaring off people. Haha. Okay, well that’s it for now… Maybe. You never know… dot dot dot…
I got my marching band sweatshirt for Nationals!!! YAY!! (sorry, little off-topic)
Zac Efron… Yes, he is a bit girly… somewhat I guess.
So… well… up until last Wednesday, I could gladly tell people that I was destined to become a nun. And after Wednesday… No way I was being a nun. Not because I am no longer single (still am… probably always will be). It’s because at lunch I mentioned that I am destined to be single for all of eternity and become a nun and my friend, Lori, goes “You know, it’s possible for nuns to be lesbians.” Interesting conversation really, remind me to explain her reasons for thinking that sometime. So yes, not going to be a nun after that.
39.
oxlin | December 23, 2007 at 12:00 pm
My favorite pair of pants happens to be a pair of guy’s corduroy. Hey, they are comfortable, warm, have the awesomest pockets that actually fit things in them and yet can pretend to be somewhat fancy as they are corduroy. I’ll go join the drag king club… Of course I’d be a guy with really long hair but should hair really matter? Why is long hair ‘feminine’ and short hair ‘masculine’ anyways? Shouldn’t people pick what they’d like their hair to be? Same with people who change themselves to please one other. Isn’t it the same thing keeping your hair to what society tells you it ‘should’ be like or keeping your hair to what your crush tells you he/she thinks your hair ‘should’ be like.
I dunno what people think of my sexuality based on how I dress/wear my hair. I suppose they all assume I’m straight. Dunno really.
40.
ebeth | December 23, 2007 at 12:46 pm
drag king LAWLZ.
idk, i wear jeans and shirts. like, normal shirts. you-can-tell-i-have-boobs-but-not-in-an-obvious-way shirts. my hairs gotten longer in my laziness and hatred of haircuts, but it still barely reaches my shoulders. (used to be so you could see my ears. shorter, in fact, than zac efrons, whose hair is actually ridiculously long (at least in HSM))
people know i’m straight. but then they also think i’m a necro. i have weird friends.
what pisses me off about the whole “need a bf/gf!” thing is that nobody ever accepts the fact that you don’t have a crush on anybody.
“who do you like?”
“nobody”
“oh come on, you must like somebody”
“no i don’t”
“yes you do”
“i really don’t”
“why won’t you tell me who it is?”
“because said person doesn’t exist!”
“are you in denial?”
“look, i don’t like anyone”
“just tell me who”
“seriously!”
“i won’t tell anyone”
“there’s nothing to tell anyway”
“you really don’t like ANYONE??? *disbelief*”
“no!” (this is the point where if they happen to be male, i point out in a scathing tone the ugliness of all the boys in the immediate vicinity (the 2.5 square mile vicinity, anyway) if female, the tones are not quite as scathing because there’s not much to scathe at)
That’s a conversation that i’ve been having less frequently lately, but still too often.
41.
Jadestone | December 24, 2007 at 5:04 pm
I on the other hand love sweaters. Mostly because I don’t like long sleeve shirts, but it’s to cold to just wear short sleeves. Especially with our schools questionable heating, leaving half freezing and half too warm. So if I layer, I can be comfortable in either situation. \
Except for chemistry. That’s like the arctic circle or something. I’m still a tad depressed that no one’s said ‘when hell freezes over’ yet because I haven’t been able to say ‘look in the chem room, it already has’ in response.
I also have long hair… it’s just above my elbows with my arms straight. Many of my shirts are fitted too, though they’re not super-tight they’re just not baggy. I do wear looser ones too though.
The last guy I liked(like) had rather long hair. I like guys with longer hair better normally, I don’t know what it is about short hair but it turns me off.
42.
Shadow Gallery | December 25, 2007 at 2:02 pm
My boyfriend has long hair.
I like skinny, long-haired guys.
Rock stars.
Ooh yeah.
Anyway.
I do believe this will be my last afternoon actually dating him, sadly.
We share different philosophies.
:’(
43.
FrigidSymphony | December 25, 2007 at 3:30 pm
My girlfriend has short hair, dyed black and red, wears corsets, combat boots, short skirts… the works. We’ve been a couple since September, have a healthy sex life and adore each other.
44.
FrigidSymphony | December 25, 2007 at 3:30 pm
Oh and she’s two years older than me.
45.
oxlin | December 25, 2007 at 3:54 pm
I like sweaters! I get super cold if I’m not wearing one and I layer a ton too. I can’t really understand people who walk around in the winter wearing only one layer of shirt and no sweater. Brr…
46.
Shadow Gallery | December 25, 2007 at 4:19 pm
43– Hot.
47.
Shadow Gallery | December 27, 2007 at 8:50 am
So yeah, I was right. He did end up breaking up with me. It was rather obvious.
I guess he isn’t wanting a serious relationship right now. Can’t handle it, doesn’t trust himself, doesn’t want to be in something he’s uncertain about and risk hurting me again (he cheated on me, by the way), doesn’t want to get into a giant flame war and really lose me if he fucks up again…etc. So I guess he’s a bit of an ass, but a rather respectable one all the same. We’re still friends, though. It’ll be interesting to see how we handle that, but I think by the time we find other people we’ll be over each other. The transition from relationship to friends shouldn’t be too hard, though, because it’s always felt like he’s my best friend. Except now it’s a lot less…I dunno, complicated or something. Just removing that label helped. I’ll always be bitter about him cheating on me, but I think that after a while with the “just friends” mentality, neither of us will get too jealous when we find someone else. He said that if he was going to be in a real relationship, he’d want to be with me, but…things change. And it may not be too easy, but I can accept that, or will be able once he finds someone else.
I find it strange (or at least contradictory of social stereotype) that right after we broke up, we started talking and laughing just like before. But that’s good, at least. It’s good that we tried to fix things and tried to understand and tried to compromise, but when that failed, that we didn’t just throw each other. Because we have a lot between us, it just didn’t work as a formal relationship. It’d just be fucking stupid to give everything up.
48.
FrigidSymphony | December 27, 2007 at 9:52 am
46: Muchly so.
49.
Mel | December 27, 2007 at 6:49 pm
I have to ask:
Females, what do you like and dislike?
Males, what do you like and dislike?
Just wondering. Take it how you will.
50.
Mel | December 27, 2007 at 6:49 pm
Oh, and why / why not?
51.
FrigidSymphony | December 27, 2007 at 7:12 pm
Sexual boldness, initiative and humour. Gothic and metal aesthetic, long hair, corsets etc.
Dislike: Sluttiness
52.
Shadow Gallery | December 27, 2007 at 8:10 pm
51– I will agree, that is very sexy (the gothness, etc.) But I dunno if I could date someone like that. Fuck, sure, but probably not date.
49–
LIKE
Guys: Tall, skinny, long hair is ideal
Girls: About my size…so, small.
Both: Creative dressing (but not badly creative, just original), intelligence, dark sense of humour, disdain for the law, a lack of inhibition, curiosity, ridiculousness, spontaneity, slightly geeky, brutally frank, someone who will initiate conversation/other things (because I’m not one to do so), liberated thinker, honest, unashamed, artistic, small touches of romance here and there, someone who could also be my best friend…
*Piercings, tattoos, and occasional smoking/drug usage bonus. Not alcohol, though.
DISLIKE
Guys: Crew cuts/generally short hair
Girls: Sluttiness, over-boobage
Both: Too much hair/fat/muscle, disrespect, distrust, chauvinism, overindulgence in anything, attention-whores, plasticness, irrationality, inconsistency, trying too hard, possessiveness, dependency (on anything), conservative, afraid, obnoxious, delusional…
53.
Fortune Cell | December 27, 2007 at 9:48 pm
49-Likes:
Appearance-wise…he must be taller than me. I’m 5’8″-ish, so that’s not terribly hard, but I don’t like short guys. Medium hair is nice… definitely not short, but longer is fine. A nice face is important…Also Rasta-type guys are very hot, but I don’t really agree with the movement.
I like nerdy guys too, but not to the point where they’re complete social outcasts… But a healthy love of video games and xkcd is appreciated.
Musicians are great (M plays guitar, bass, and, best of all, drums [though not as well as the other two. yeah, drums are hot.])
I’m…weird. I have been told numerous times to lay off the crack, and sometimes people think I’m on drugs when they first meet me. Any guy who can match me in craziness w/o being creepy…
artistic in any way, gets along with my friends, a conversationalist. Intelligence is a must, same with a sense of humor.
Dislikes:
neediness, complete introversion, contempt, self-righteousness, a conservative/right-wing outlook, someone who finds fault, pessimistic.
54.
ebeth | December 28, 2007 at 7:32 am
49-like: someone who can take a joke and fire it right back without getting huffy or po’d, someone who takes life easy and stops to enjoy what’s there, someone spontaneous/adventurous who will try new things. i’m not sure about a disdain for the law necessarily, but they need to be cool with bending and/or breaking a few rules. someone intelligent and funny.
physically, medium to longish hair, not extremely tall, and anybody who can pull off a goatee right is pretty schmexy. but guys, please, if you can’t pull it off, don’t try. it’s a disaster waiting to happen.
dislike-arrogance, touchiness, fussiness, cleanliness, anyone who blindly obeys orders/authority without stopping to think, anyone shallow, anyone who worries too much, anyone without a good sense of humor or who can’t take a joke, or anyone stupid
physically-extremely tall or short, really short hair, preppy clothes
55.
Mel | December 28, 2007 at 7:54 am
Interesting enough. Hmm, I think I’ll set this up like SG…
LIKE:
Intelligence is number one here, along with a calm demeanor. Similar or at least non-opposing views of things. And the ability to put up with whatever strange randomness I’m doing at the moment.
Physically, for both, around my height, and not too big [whether or not the bigness is a result of muscle or fat]. As far as guys go, I generally prefer dark hair and dark eyes, but for girls anything but blonde is good. For some reason I really like that dark reddish-purple-black hair colour.
Oh, and being at least slightly submissive is always a plus xD.
DISLIKE:
Blatant, proud stupidity. Being overly emotional or having feelings that are easily hurt. Horrible lack of confidence. Clothing that doesn’t fit properly.
56.
Jadestone | December 28, 2007 at 9:50 am
Hmm… I think we did this on an old R&R thread a while ago. I don’t really think mine’s changed.
Likes(guys):
Looks- Tall; looong hair, preferably dark; dark eyes; lightish skin; fit/skinny, not overweight but also not one of the those people with the bulging muscles, but isn’t a weakling; I don’t really like facial hair but as ebeth said about goatees…; not preppy clothing; kinda geeky is a plus
Personality- Intelligence, not necessarily smarter than me but people who act stupid irritate me; isn’t shy but can deal with me being the introvert I am; will respond/keep a conversation going; has the same views as me on major issues, but different ones on smaller topics so we can actually discuss something; can be both quiet and spontaneous
Not sure where artistic ability would go but it is a huge plus
Dislikes:
Looks- short hair, anything from buzz cut to above ears means I probably won’t even think about the guy; shortness; overly preppy/emo/jock
Personality- Stupid, close-minded, doesn’t listen, is a jerk, conservative, shallow, all that stuff
This is my ideal, mind you. I will likely have to settle for less. *sigh*
57.
Lady Montague | December 28, 2007 at 10:42 am
I don’t really know what I like. I am one of those people who kind of desperately hope they will “know it when they see it.” I dunno. I like guys to be smarter than me, pretty easy going, off beat sense of humor, and a strong sense of when to shut up and when to shock. Most people seem to have no idea when they should talk and when it’s okay to tell a story and when they need to be quiet. I think if I was with someone who didn’t know how to fit in to a social situation it would be really embarrassing.
I don’t like arrogant guys, or people who have no interest in ideas. And I hate it when someone is the center of their own universe.
58.
Shadow Gallery | December 28, 2007 at 3:00 pm
Oh yes. I also dislike arrogant and shallow people.
59.
Shadow Gallery | January 2, 2008 at 12:45 pm
I want to beat something to it’s death.
60.
Pan | January 2, 2008 at 5:16 pm
You know, this thread is way cooler than the R&R threads on MB. Which is basically a breeding ground for elementary-school drama and “ZOMG what am I going to do thia sildfaoilmlasdjfmsdf”
/ranty thing.
I agree with a lot of things Monty says…you don’t need someone to be “complete” or whatever. Romance drama is just plain bothersome sometimes, I don’t see why people torture themselves with issues like that.
61.
Fortune Cell | January 2, 2008 at 6:12 pm
60- Yes, man. I hate those people: “OMG HE ASKED FOR A PENCIL. HE ALREADY HAD A PEN!!!!”
62.
Shadow Gallery | January 3, 2008 at 6:01 pm
Yeah, that pisses me off…silly middle school drama <.<
When they actually get into a real relationship, they won’t last five minutes.
63.
Potato Chip (Kelly) | January 4, 2008 at 5:21 pm
I hate drama.
I am, however, in middle school, so I have to put up with that.
And based on activity on my (high school) bus, it’s not going to get any better. People are still immature…
I’m feeling rather morbid today.
64.
kricket | January 4, 2008 at 7:12 pm
Drama… Very annoying. I just gave up keeping up with some of the drama going on in my friends’ lives. I was just like, you know what, no, I’m not even going to try to keep up with anything anymore. Haha, I’ll probably get dragged into something by the time the year’s over. School year, by the way.
Now, for likes and dislikes…
Likes (guys, of course):
Personality- good sense of humor that is compatible with my sense of humor, intelligent (!!!), able to keep up with any randomness I might spout (like once I said something about a three-legged deer…), creative, a writer/reader would be nice, not-arrogant, geeky is some-what of a plus if not too geeky, randomness is always a plus, compassionate, same views (somewhat), likes animals
Looks- medium to long-ish hair (has to be an inch or two above shoulders and goes past ears), darker hair is preferable (no blonde, really), any color eyes, eyes must SPARKLE sometimes, good smile (as in good teeth), skinny/physically fit, lighter skin, around my height (tall is good, my height is good, a little shorter is okay)
Dislikes:
Personality- arrogant, preppy, stupid, “an airhead”, superficial, annoying, whiny, anyone who has a loud annoying laugh, etc.
Looks- a buzz-cut, bald, hair past shoulders, bad teeth, dulled expression, too muscular, short (like more than a few inches that me), etc.
Sooo, I think this R&R thread is turning out better than the one on the MB. People were always like “OMG HE LOOKED AT ME! AND SMILED!!! AHHHH!!!” I mean, come on. Really.
65.
oxlin (e~a) | January 4, 2008 at 9:33 pm
like: makes me smile.
applying to both males and females by the way.
66.
ebeth | January 5, 2008 at 6:32 am
64-heh, keeping up with randomness is a good one. it’s mildly cute the first few times when a guy suddenly loses your train of thought, but after a while it’s just like “omg, keep up, will you?” so i’ll add that to my list
67.
FrigidSymphony | January 5, 2008 at 12:27 pm
Immaturity is annoying, true.
But anyway, being in a good, stable relationship with another individual with whom you have profound feelings of affection is probably one of the best things a person can do. Whenever my girlfriend hugs me, or leans or head on my chest, and I feel her breathing, living with me, I get such a fantastic feeling of happiness, meaning and adoration… It’s the best natural high. The fact of the matter is that people are not born complete. We all seek perfection and completion, in ourselves or in other people, and I can tell you, it’s a lot harder to find it in yourself.
What I do hate is people throwing around the term “love” so casually. Love isn’t a crush, or simple attraction. It also isn’t an unexplainable, mythical state of being. It’s a combination of physical, mental and spiritual chemistry; it’s a bond shared by two or more people who are capable of bringing intense joy to each other just by hugging. Love is when you couldn’t conceivably imagine a state of things in which the two of you aren’t together, when your entire world revolves around the other individual, when your thoughts and behaviour are predominantly influenced by your partner(s). I love my partner, and she loves me, and we both recognized and defined our emotions for each other.
Ok, discourse over.
68.
oxlin (e~a) | January 5, 2008 at 4:54 pm
67- yes. Love is when you smile when they walk into a room, when you see their smile that is brought by your presence
69.
schoonLee | January 5, 2008 at 8:33 pm
67- but does/can it count as love if the person doesn’t feel the same way?
70.
ebeth | January 6, 2008 at 7:31 am
69-you love who you love, regardless of…just about anything, really. love always counts
71.
S&Mel | January 6, 2008 at 8:36 am
Why not? Love is when your first and last waking thoughts are of that/those person/people.
72.
Bird of Purple | January 9, 2008 at 7:28 pm
I really don’t think I’ve ever been in “love”, and I’ve definitely never been in any kind of serious relationship whatsoever. Sadly, if I was under the impression that a crush considered me a human being, I would be all “OMG HE TALKED TO ME AND ASKED ME FOR A PENCIL AND IF THERE WAS ANY MATH HOMEWORK”. Therefore, for the all around sanity of FMB, you can be thankful that there’s not much chance of me having any kind of a love life whatsoever.
73.
Lady Montague | January 9, 2008 at 8:16 pm
I seem to be constantly falling in love with book characters. This does not bode well for my future.
74.
The Skipper | January 9, 2008 at 9:32 pm
(73) Ah, yes. I know your pain. I know it is setting myself up for disappointment, but I can’t imagine being satisfied with a man who is not Mr. Darcy….
Oh love life (really, lack there of). You have caused me many wasted hours today. Isn’t that frustrating?
75.
Fortune Cell | January 9, 2008 at 10:55 pm
73- I’m so excited for Inkheart, the movie. Dustfinger anyone? -sigh-
Anyways, irl…. not much has been up. I was talking to M and he was ranting about the gov’t and society and stuff and was like “we need to talk more.” and we were talking about Sweeney and he was like “we should go see it.”
except no plans were made and so I sound kind of pathetic. :[
76.
Potato Chip (Kelly) | January 10, 2008 at 1:57 pm
72- Yes, I’m kind of that way too… he asked me if we had a quiz! But he was talking about social studies, not math… duh. Of course he knows I’m not in his math class. And social studies is all the same level, and we’re in different periods…
75-Yay! I’m going to read the book/play… and my parents are letting me see the original(s). And then, if they don’t think that’s too gory, the new one, when it comes out on DVD.
77.
Shadow Gallery | January 10, 2008 at 3:04 pm
67– I completely agree, and the thing about feeling her breathe with you is exactly what I felt with my…ex. Also, it’s not fun to still be in love when the object of interest is falling out of love.
72– I dunno. Things have changed since last year, when I was crushing on this kid for the entire school year before we actually got ’round to speaking to each other, I was kinda like that…like, “oh my God, he looked at me during that love poem!” I kept it inside, of course, I was far too proud to admit it. But now the people I like (yes, there are a few, but I’m only sort-of crushing on them, not wanting to date them) I’m friends with and I’m fine around them.
Also, labels lie. Just because I’m no longer “dating” my ex doesn’t mean that we’re not still close and care about each other a lot. And just because he’s “dating” this other girl now doesn’t mean that they’re in love. Maybe they are, I don’t know, but he said that it’s casual and that all they’re out for is sex and fun. Sound like love to you? She’s had over thirty-seven relationships, fucking, cheating, getting bored, leaving them for someone else…and I could be wrong (although it’d make a lot of sense if I was), but I doubt this will be much different. That sound like love to you? It may be a relationship, albeit a foolish one, but that is not love, it is fucking. Physicality is an aspect of love, but it certainly isn’t the whole thing. And from what I know of her, she just wants to get into his pants.
And while I’m getting over my runaway lover…
one of my friends, who I kind of sort of like (again, not enough to date, not nearly enough), really, really, really likes me. And he’s dating one of my best friends. But he’s unsure about her, and says that it really just feels like they’re friends, that he’s a lot closer to me than his girlfriend. Not sure what to think of this.
Love sucks sometimes.
But it’s a hell of a lot better than just being numb.
78.
ebeth | January 10, 2008 at 4:58 pm
75-HAAAAWWWWWWTTTTT
i hope he is though, because he should be. sirius was a bit of a disappointment, i love gary oldman and all (he’s an amazing actor) but he is not sex like sirius.
that all sounds really shallow compared to the deep philosophical statements around here. because you know what, it is.
but i have nothing deep and philosophical to say at them moment, except that SG, i entirely agree with your last statement there.
79.
kricket | January 10, 2008 at 6:05 pm
78- Definitely. When is the movie for Inkheart coming out?
Yeah. I have absolutely nothing deep and philosophical to say. So yes. I shall be back on tomorrow when I actually have time. (GAH. Time. One of the things that if you waste it, you’re never going to get it back.)
80.
Lady Montague | January 10, 2008 at 6:18 pm
I love how as soon as I mentioned I fall in love with book characters everyone started professing undying love for various characters. We are obviously nerds, because it takes literature to bring out a shallow side.
81.
Fortune Cell | January 10, 2008 at 6:28 pm
78- Omg I know. My friend, Sara, and I had a conversation on Sirius’ lack of hotness in the movie and the disappointment it was.
79- Idk. Google?
82.
S&Mel | January 10, 2008 at 6:42 pm
Sirius was indeed the sex.
83.
Vendaval (Conrad) | January 10, 2008 at 7:35 pm
81- Scheduled (March 19?) 2008.
So I fall under the lack of category. I’m too shy or geeky or something. Not much to say.
84.
Lady Montague | January 10, 2008 at 8:37 pm
Shy geeky losers FTW. For real, we will take over the world one day and everyone will regret not being nice to us when we were shy, geeky, awkward high schoolers. At least, that’s the hope I’m clinging to.
85.
ebeth | January 11, 2008 at 4:18 am
84-duh, because when they have to pay bajillions of dollars for a new bit of technology that we designed, or a movie we made, or a book we wrote (well…audiobook, maybe) or song we wrote…we’ll be laughing our heads off
86.
Megan- VF | January 11, 2008 at 2:13 pm
ohoho yes. us geeks rock the world and someday we will rule it.
and dustfinger better be hawt like sirius was supposed to be. i cant wait for that movie..
87.
kricket | January 11, 2008 at 6:10 pm
Of course, we will rock the world! Whoever thought we wouldn’t? Mwahahaha.
88.
Jadestone | January 12, 2008 at 8:08 am
Dustfinger = hott indeed.
But if they EVER make a Sandman movie/movie of his other books Dream had better live up to my extreme, unreal expectations or I will throw things at people.
89.
Alison | January 12, 2008 at 9:48 am
88- Weren’t there tentative plans for a Sandman movie? I seem to remember something floating around.
90.
ebeth | January 12, 2008 at 2:48 pm
89-that would be absolutely fantastic
88-dreeeeam! actually the drawing of him was semi-hott. it had its moments. esp. with the blue-ish hair.
91.
Jadestone | January 12, 2008 at 3:40 pm
90- I haven’t had a chance to read the Sandman series yet, so I don’t know how he looked in those… I do really like the way he looked e in the one illustrated by Yoshitaka Amano (The Dream Hunters)
Linkage- http://img266.imageshack.us/img266/7143/1245sandmanoscaadoresde0hv.jpg
http://distraction.february-rains.net/wps/dreamwp3_800.jpg
http://s193.photobucket.com/albums/z87/Jadestone7/?action=view¤t=sandman_800x600amano.jpg
92.
Fortune Cell | January 12, 2008 at 9:51 pm
EBETH scared M away today.
:[
93.
Dodecahedron | January 12, 2008 at 11:41 pm
63- Yeah, it doesn’t get any better. I’m actually significantly less mature now than I was when I was younger, by even a year. Then it was like- why is that funny? It’s just kind of immature. Now, it’s kind of- lol you’re laughing at 69… at least I can say I’m laughing at them laughing, not laughing at it myself.
72- same here. (Except the reason I’m not considered a human being isn’t that he doesn’t know me… )
Likes (not necessary for me to like someone, but they’ll help a lot):
long hair, plays a brass instrument, has similar likes as mine (Monty Python, H2G2…), at least as tall as I am (which isn’t hard), has similar interests (math/science, music…basically, he’s a geek)…
I can’t think of things. There’s probably something obvious I’m missing. I’m tired. I should sleep…
94.
ebeth | January 13, 2008 at 7:49 am
92-heh…sorry.
but really, does he not know how to block?
idk, i know you like him and all but he seemed kind of…dumb to me. maybe he’s more intelligent offline. Or when he’s not being stalked.
95.
Jadestone | January 13, 2008 at 8:06 am
92/94- *imagines scenario* Hahahahaha…
96.
Fortune Cell | January 13, 2008 at 9:52 am
94- He’s not dumb.
He’s quite smart, and funny, and plays music.
And frankly, you were really creepy.
97.
ebeth | January 13, 2008 at 9:59 am
96-just following orders m’dear
i would’ve actually gone with the policeman, that ones more fun. and slightly less creepy.
98.
Fortune Cell | January 13, 2008 at 10:04 am
97- NOT following orders.
You pleaded until I FINALLY agreed.
99.
ebeth | January 13, 2008 at 10:17 am
98-like i expected you to actually say yes…i was completely surprised by that
100.
Fortune Cell | January 13, 2008 at 10:32 am
99- You went on for ten minutes. I figured it was the only way to get you to fucking shut up.
101.
ebeth | January 13, 2008 at 10:43 am
100-and then you were like “oh yeah, pick THAT one (the creepiest, incidentally), so we can see if he says anything! excitement111!”
and if you want me to shut up, tell me to. it’s really not that complicated.
and i don’t see why you’re being so pissy about it anyway, it’s not like he knows you had anything to do with it.
102.
Fortune Cell | January 13, 2008 at 10:52 am
101- I was like “fine, do the last one then.”
you’re right, I was curious, but I was also against it.
I DID tell you to shut up.
And I must have told you NO like 30 fucking times.
Then you had to insult him?
Wtf.
103.
ebeth | January 13, 2008 at 10:59 am
102-you seemed pretty damn eager for his reaction
and you did NOT tell me to shut up, you just said no a lot. I WAS NEVER GOING TO FUCKING IM HIM. I WAS KIDDING. GET OVER YOURSELF.
and i said he seemed kind of dumb but maybe he’s more intelligent in real life. Yeah. Killer insult. if somebody said that to me, i don’t know how i would ever recover. especially since i pointed out quite clearly that i didn’t actually know him and therefore, couldn’t really judge. You must be simply devastated.
104.
FrigidSymphony | January 13, 2008 at 11:08 am
Handcuffs + gf in sadistic mood = bite marks all over + pain
Now if that were biquadratic how would you solve it?
105.
Fortune Cell | January 13, 2008 at 11:30 am
103- I wasn’t that eager.
I did tell you to shut up.
If you were kidding, you would have shut up after a while.
It’s just a bitchy thing to say.
106.
FrigidSymphony | January 13, 2008 at 11:40 am
Either stop bitching or tell us all what’s going on, I feel left out >.<
107.
ebeth | January 13, 2008 at 12:34 pm
106-i, joking around, teased julia with all the different people i could pretend to be whilst IMing her crush. she (WITHOUT telling me to shut up by the way) said no to all of them, and then suddenly changed her mind and said “yes, do the last one” (the creepiest of them all). Then, because her crush was too stupid to block me, and instead simply went offline, she got all disappointed and decided that she actually didn’t have anything to do with it and was going to get all pissy at me for doing what she told me to do in the first place.
and then she decided to have a little whine-fest (because who doesn’t need a little extraneous drama in their life? oh that’s right…everyone) and blow the whole thing way out of proportion.
108.
Fortune Cell | January 13, 2008 at 12:39 pm
107- Nice to see you’ve got a nice, objective view of this.
I find it cute how you paint me as some over reactive, bitchy girl and you as the innocent one.
I’m not saying it’s completely your fault, but I guess you have trouble figuring that out.
109.
ebeth | January 13, 2008 at 12:56 pm
108-funny you should say that, considering what i heard your version of events was.
but no, i’m not trying to paint myself as completely innocent. i apologize if i was annoying, and i apologize if somewhere in there you told me to shut up and i missed it. but i haven’t heard you apologize for anything at all, in fact most of what i’ve heard from you has been you trying to deny any involvement at all. and that pisses me off.
but really, i don’t need this right now. i have exams to study for and a ton of other things to do. i’m sorry if i seem to be painting you as a bitchy girl, but yes, you are overreacting. can we just forget about this now? i don’t need an apology, i don’t even need you to accept your share of the blame, i just need you to lay off. i’m sorry for my part in it, and i hope you are for yours.
110.
kricket | January 13, 2008 at 2:38 pm
EBETH! JULIA!!!!!!!! Please, get over it! It’s probably somehow both your faults. Gah. I mean, really, come on. *sigh*
111.
oxlin (e~a) | January 13, 2008 at 3:02 pm
would you two stop? if you really want to argue go somewhere else and do it. I’m sure your crush will go back online eventually Julia.
and really, in the long run, it won’t be a big deal. Both of you were probably somewhat at fault. it’s time to move on.
112.
Fortune Cell | January 13, 2008 at 3:46 pm
110- We had, 2 and half hours before you posted…
113.
S&Mel | January 13, 2008 at 6:05 pm
*avoids arguement*
104- Basically it translates into:
boyfriend in pain = yay happy fun times
I dunno. I personally think it’s really cute when my boyfriend’s whimpering in pain. But that’s just me and probably too much information.
*shuts up and vanishes*
114.
FrigidSymphony | January 14, 2008 at 11:45 am
113: Me and my masochistic tendencies actually get along really well. Pain is metal. So is S&M. Yay for bondage and all that shit.
115.
kricket | January 14, 2008 at 5:18 pm
Hmmmm… I have no love life whatsoever at the current moment.
My friend says that Valentine’s Day is “National Singles Day”. Heh. Feels like it, at least. So that’s what we call it. I mean, it is great if you are involved in a romantic relationship. But if you’re not like most people…. Then it sucks. So for me it’s “National Singles Day”.
That was really random.
116.
S&Mel | January 14, 2008 at 5:42 pm
114- Heehee, masochists. I’d have no fun without them.
115- I personally believe in buying half-priced candy the day after regardless of romantic status.
He’s back in college : /
117.
kricket | January 17, 2008 at 5:32 pm
116- yes, half-priced candy… yay! my parents buy me candy at Valentine’s Day. YAY for chocolate! Heh, it’s normally gone within the week.
I feel soo bad! My two friends (good friends might I add) broke up today. I have no idea why. Agh. Actually that might not be the reason I feel like crap… I practically was sick with nerves over the exams this week. But now they’re over so yay! Wow, off topic there… Never mind.
118.
FrigidSymphony | January 19, 2008 at 2:24 am
116: However, when a masochist begs “hurt me!”, the true sadist replies “no!”.
119.
S&Mel | January 19, 2008 at 7:28 am
Aah, deprivation xD
120.
kricket | January 23, 2008 at 3:21 pm
I still can’t believe how many people can survive on drama. I was talking to my bando friend today, and this is what she said, “Oh, are you kidding? My whole life is drama!” I mean, seriously. I barely can keep up with everything else. *sigh* Everything is too complicated nowadays. I miss those little innocent days when I was younger and thought boys had cooties. Everything was so simple back then.
Yeah. Randomness. Valentine’s day is coming up in a few weeks. Bleeeeeech.
121.
S&Mel | January 23, 2008 at 4:36 pm
120- Heh, cooties. My English class has exactly one male and nine females. Plus a female teacher. Many a “cooties” joke has gone around. He sits on one side of the room, and whenever the people who sit behind him and/or in the middle are absent…well you can see where I’m going.
I think my mother believes in cooties. She takes serious offense at even the simplest kiss in an animated film. I do believe she fears for the welfare of the characters involved.
Who am I kidding? I wonder why she hasn’t joined a bloody convent.
I do not enjoy drama. It is my opinion that dramatic people should get over themselves and just get laid. That may be an overstatement, but you get my point. *sigh* I tire of such trivial matters.
122.
kricket | January 25, 2008 at 4:03 pm
121- Haha. That’s a bit weird with your mom though… You would think that adults wouldn’t really think that way. Hmph. Ah well.
Miiiiiiiiight be a bit of an overstatement there, but seriously, people really should get over it.
123.
Shadow Gallery | January 27, 2008 at 11:34 am
122– Agreed.
And gah.
I am awaiting a response from a friend of mine who I just told I like. (That was probably a grammatically tragic sentence, but you get the idea, right?) I told him that I’m not really looking for a tremendously serious relationship, but that I still wanted to know whether the kid I like likes me back. Of course, he asked me who this kid is. So I told him.
Woohoo.
124.
Shadow Gallery | January 28, 2008 at 2:13 pm
Aaaaaand he replied. He likes me too, but isn’t looking for a relationship right now either.
We’re still friends and cuddlebuddies. So life is good.
Though there was an extremely nerve-wracking period where he had read the message but didn’t bother to say anything about it…during which my ex came over to pick up something he had left at my house and was like *hug* and We Need to Hang Out Again Sometime :/
125.
Potato Chip (Kelly) | January 28, 2008 at 2:54 pm
124- Yay!
My locker worked in my favor today. It was really, really stuck. And then I saw J leave his locker, so I was thinking, “this is really embarrassing”. And then, he must have been waiting behind me for a few seconds, because he said, “Do you need help?” Me: “Yeah, thanks!”
*over-analyzes*
126.
Shadow Gallery | January 31, 2008 at 5:09 pm
So my love life is interesting all of a sudden.
Like two guys. Both like me back. Actually kissed one of them today. That was funny.
However.
Still not entirely over ex. Don’t want to date anyone, exactly. Could be lying to myself about that last one, but I know that I’m still not over my ex. And I’d like some mental calm before I date someone. Hoping I don’t sound like a slut.
SO yeah…*confused* *confused as to why I’m confused* *head explodes*
127.
Shadow Gallery | January 31, 2008 at 5:10 pm
So my love life is interesting all of a sudden.
Like two guys. Both like me back. Actually kissed one of them today. That was funny.
However.
Still not entirely over ex. Don’t want to date anyone, exactly. Could be lying to myself about that last one, but I know that I’m still not over my ex. And I’d like some mental calm before I date someone. Hoping I don’t sound like a slut.
SO yeah…*confused*
*confused as to why I’m confused*
*head explodes*
…Ah, love. Or something like it. :/
128.
ebeth who is too lazy to sign in | February 1, 2008 at 4:29 am
So my love life exists all of a sudden.
this guy who i never would have suspected of liking me asked me to homecoming last night.
i’ll continue the story (it’s a fun one) but i have to go to school now because unlike you losers i don’t get a day off *sulks*
129.
Jadestone | February 1, 2008 at 6:25 am
128-
Our dear ebeth with a love life?
Haha, good for you though, what’d you say?/Isn’t homecoming at the beginning of the year?
130.
ebeth the lazy | February 1, 2008 at 3:06 pm
129-shocking, innit?
well…he was really awkward, and i was sick (pretty sure i had a fever, but i couldn’t not be there today…ugh school) so what’s basically happening is i’m going along with the group, which he’s driving. so we’re not really going together.
but i don’t think i really like him like that anyway…i mean he’s fun and all, but idk.
and yeah, this is winter homecoming. for bball.
131.
ebeth who is too lazy to sign in | February 2, 2008 at 8:10 am
homecoming tonight, hopefully i’ll figure out what’s going on with my life…i am going to be so confused if high tower’s there though…
132.
oxlin (e~a) | February 2, 2008 at 6:33 pm
<3.
that is all.
133.
ebeth who is too lazy to sign in | February 2, 2008 at 9:01 pm
132-there is a story there. do tell.
so i went with andy…it was pretty awkward. we mostly stood around refusing to dance to the horrible music. we did slow dance once.
also, we totally got about eight people to request dr. worm, and they didn’t play it!!! SO mad. that would’ve been a great song to play…everybody would just be like “…wtf? WHERE IZ MAH BAD RAP?!” and we’d be like “no! GOOD music! ha!”
134.
FrigidSymphony | February 3, 2008 at 4:14 am
Yay, Carnival holidays! One week of celebrating carnal pleasure. Sex and tequila
135.
glasseh | February 3, 2008 at 7:24 pm
133- Haha. *mental note to listen to Dr. Worm when he’s not supposed to be working on homework*
And…you have a love life other than raping me on AIM now? *shock* Yay! (Yay for me, is it yay for you as well?) *probably isn’t making sense because he’s overtired*
136.
tetracontakaidigon | February 3, 2008 at 8:08 pm
133- I laughed out loud.
There is a Valentines’ Day dance, for just ninth graders. It was the topic of discussion in Italian class Thursday. Kyle is going to be in danceoffs, which just seems amusing to me, and I might want to laugh at him even though we simply coexist and aren’t friends. Joe said his friends were forcing him to go even though they weren’t in the ninth grade. He’s kind of my friend, and I might almost be able to talk to him while there, but he’ll probably end up talking to Sam and Mark if going to watch the middle school play was any indicator. And Mark still won’t talk to me, so it would be about a million kinds of awkward, even though I don’t like him anymore and we really should reconcile sometime.
My problem is even though I know I’ll just stand alone awkwardly in a corner the whole time, I still kind of want to go. Everyone will be talking about it the next school day, and I’ll probably hear about something funny and wish I had been there.
So, options:
1. Don’t go, stay home alone. My default, and I’ll probably be a little sad being alone for it, but whatever, I’ll go online.
2. Go, alone. High probability I end up worse emotionally than if I stayed home alone, and then go online all night after, but a very slim to nonexistent chance that I have some fun. Not worth it, unless you can convince me otherwise. But there’s that slim chance.
3. Go, make sure penguini comes too. Moderate to high chance of fun if she comes willingly. Moderate to low if I drag her kicking and screaming, which wouldn’t work well anyway. I’ll talk to her in school, see what she thinks.
4. Don’t go but invite penguini and maybe a couple others over anyway. Of course it’ll be wonderful if I can be bothered to do something and invite people, which I probably can’t.
Ideas?
137.
The Skipper Nancy | February 3, 2008 at 8:17 pm
(136) Go. Try and get penguini to go, but do go. If you don’t have fun, it’ll be too bad, but then it’s just a un-fun memory that you can just think back on an say “oh well, could have been better”. But if you don’t go, you’ll never know.
138.
potatochip42 | February 4, 2008 at 3:43 am
136- Do I count as a 9th grader? I don’t mind going that much… they wouldn’t bother to check school ID, right?
Middle school dances=bad. Last year I went to one and just stood/sat around with my friend eating pretzels.
139.
Fortune Cell | February 4, 2008 at 8:55 am
136- Hey, go to the dance, it’ll be fun.
We had a dance on Saturday, but I didn’t go cus I had other stuff planned. The teachers are all “no freaking!!!1!11!” “no grinding!” “no 90 degree dancing!” “no touching the ‘board short’ or ‘bikini bottom’ area!”
so it’s kind of a pain.
140.
Jadestone | February 4, 2008 at 2:02 pm
I am not going to turnabout. I am going to be in Detroit, but I hadn’t been planning on going anyway. I do not enjoy dances.
tetracontakaidigon, do what you want to do. I am sick people telling me what I should do right now so I’m not going to do it here.
141.
tetracontakaidigon | February 5, 2008 at 7:51 pm
Ok. I appreciate the advice. I found out that the dance is the night before I have to wake up at an ungodly hour for science olympiad. Of course, the atheism means that technically, every hour is ungodly, but it’s 4:45 AM. If there were a god, s/he would forsake then. So a dance until 10 the night before = bad.
142.
potatochip42 | February 6, 2008 at 3:31 am
141- I just realized that my middle school has a dance that night, too. I’m not going unless people I want to see there are going, because I also have to wake up early (5am) for music school.
I don’t think our dance goes until 10, though. They usually end closer to 8 or 8:30pm.
143.
ebeth who is at a friend's house and therefore not bothering to sign in | February 6, 2008 at 2:34 pm
142-8 or 8:30? for a dance? daaaayoom
144.
tetracontakaidigon | February 6, 2008 at 3:31 pm
Today there was an announcement (I think; homeroom in gym is bad for these kinds of things) that the dance was canceled anyway…
145.
Shadow Gallery | February 10, 2008 at 10:20 am
So okay. Get this.
I’ve known this for…a while, but one of my close friends really, really likes me. I mean, really really really really really likes me. A lot. And I like him a lot as well so no problem there.
However, I don’t want to date him, at least not right now, because I’m probably not as focused on him as I could be…and if I’m going to date someone, I should probably only really really like that one person, neh? Oui. And even though the other kid I really really like doesn’t want to date anyone (but really likes me anyway), that’s still a distraction. Not only that, but I don’t want to fuck everything up and cause a bunch of shitlike drama among everyone. Because Person-I-Like A dated Person-I-Like C not long ago, and Person-I-Like C is one of my close friends, and it’s never a good idea to date your best friend’s ex, especially so soon after they broke up. Person-I-Like C also likes me, but I don’t like her nearly as much as Persons-I-Like A and B. Persons-I-Like B and C could get quite upset over my dating Person-I-Like A, and being as we’re all at least pretty good friends, I don’t want that to happen to them even though I do want to date Person-I-Like A and we’re not even four milimetres away from dating seriously.
SO that’s why my head is exploding.
Not entirely sure what Ex/Friend would think of all of this, much less my liking/dating Person-I-Like A. However, if Ex/Friend is jealous, that would be funny because Ex/Friend was like “stop being jealous” when he told me that he was dating Whore/The Manifestation of All Evil* not a week after we broke up which everybody already knew.
*I actually don’t care about them anymore (on the contrary it’s amusing), but she needed something else silly and capitalized.
146.
Fortune Cell | February 15, 2008 at 9:46 pm
M and friend Jn (who both do tech for the musical I’m in) get disappearing together. Then, after the musical, Tori and I saw them walking together, hug, and part ways.
Maybe I’m just overreacting cus I’m tired, but I don’t know.
I do not feel good.
At all.
Jn is nice, I think if she knew how long I have liked him she would back off.
Of course, I would have to tell her first.
Which is easier said than done.
147.
ebeth who is too lazy to sign in | February 17, 2008 at 7:28 am
funny story-andy (bf) is jewish, so he was telling me about how his jewish grandmother found out about me. he said “the second question was ‘what’s her name?’. the first was ‘is she jewish?’”
XD (i’m not, btw) oh jewish grandmothers
148.
ebeth who is too lazy to sign in | February 23, 2008 at 4:34 pm
awkward story time!
so [initial] and dan are in the same homeroom. dan and i are really good friends and basically tell each other everything, so he told me this story. [initial] goes up to dan and says “dan, you’re good at this kind of thing. what’s your opinion on how long [me] and andy are going to stay together?”
dan was like “um, well, they don’t seem the type to break up…” and [initial] was like “don’t tell anyone!” so dan’s like “you like her don’t you *nudgenudge*” and [initial] was just like “really, don’t tell anyone!”
so…it’s awkward. and i can’t exactly mention it because then he’d be mad at dan for telling me. i’ve kind of tried to send the “go-away-i-don’t-like-you-like-that” message but at the same time we’re pretty good friends and hang out and stuff.
149.
Shadow Gallery | February 25, 2008 at 4:28 pm
So Mike and I are definitely dating now. We decided this while our friend was in the gas station buying cigarettes. And then I made a painful pun.
It was kind of a whim, so we’ll see how it goes. I’ve gotta do something sometime, right? Learn something new…probably a bad reason to date someone, right? But the only hesitations that there were concerned drama and the OTHER people who like me (including his ex). And it kinda pissed me off that I was being so “meh” about it when really I’m not doing anything.
Ready or not, here I come.
150.
Shadow Gallery | March 1, 2008 at 9:54 pm
Heh.
So my ex is really jealous of Mike and me. He told his girlfriend (who he started dating not a week after breaking up with me) that he still has feelings for me. And yeah, I was jealous when he started dating her…but at least I didn’t fucking interrogate him about her. Which he is constantly doing to me about Mike. At least I left him alone. So really, more drama will sprout from my ex who was supposedly over me after we broke up over two months ago, rather than my best friend who likes me.
God, it’s amusing.
Honestly…he’s such a douche. I mean, obviously. But you’d think that if he started dating someone so soon after someone else he’d be over the first. But clearly, he is not. And I am completely over him. I honestly don’t care whether he likes me or not, apart from the entertainment factor. I also don’t care if he wants to be friends with me or not. That sounds so awful, but I don’t care. I’ve rendered myself neutral, and that is so relieving.
But maybe, just maybe, he’ll finally get how awful it feels to be left for someone else. I would like that nothing better. He was so casual about it, just, “oh yeah, we’re a couple now. Don’t be jealous.” It sucks to hear that if you still love/like a person, especially one that you recently dated. It just punches you in the back of the head, you know? I don’t think he realised this until it was reversed back onto him. Cos I knew that the only way he could understand is if I started dating someone and he still had feelings for me…mind you, I’m not dating Mike to make him jealous. I wouldn’t do that to anyone. That’s bitchy. But Mike and I get bonus points for promoting a bit of retribution and perhaps understanding.
151.
ebeth who is too lazy to sign in | March 2, 2008 at 7:43 am
“He told his girlfriend (who he started dating not a week after breaking up with me) that he still has feelings for me.”
i think that one sentence effectively sums up the essence of jerkosity.
152.
Shadow Gallery | March 2, 2008 at 9:01 am
Basically.
153.
S&Mel | March 2, 2008 at 9:24 am
…and she’s still dating him after that?!
I have a long frustrating story to tell but am going to be gone for the rest of the day after about 10 minutes from now.
And my mother is a bitch, have I ever mentioned that?
*sulks*
154.
Shadow Gallery | March 2, 2008 at 9:52 am
153– Of course. So long as she gets to fuck him…anything goes. Which is also his method of thinking.
Also, mothers tend to be.
155.
glasseh (DEATH) | March 3, 2008 at 4:19 pm
So, not quite sure if this should go on here or Ugh, My Life Sucks, but it’s related to LLL so I’ll chose here.
Just to provide quick background information to remind people, my (former) best friend’s name is Mili. The girl who I like is named Helena, and she has a friend (I’ll call her A, I guess…) who has a friend who I’ll call B.
So a while ago it turned out that A saw Helena talking to Mili (Mili has her sn), and IMed him. From here on it has escalated to a state of utter chaos, with Mili being a total idiot. I finally convinced Helena to tell me what he said today; he’s been saying inappropriate things to Helena, A, and B apparently, and B (A presumably gave him B’s sn, or something) for some fucking strange reason likes him. I’m not sure if he likes her, although I think he might; he apparently wants to meet her IRL. So now I’m waiting for him to sign on so that I can yell at him, and then block him when I’m done. :/ He’s not like this the way I know him… so now I have basically lost a friend, at least until he stops behaving badly…fucking hormones
156.
ebeth who is too lazy to sign in | March 3, 2008 at 5:28 pm
everybody’s getting together, woo woo…
cheese now has a bf (kind of) in pick-town (about 20 min away). they met through church, and they text each other CONSTANTLY. his name’s jordan but we call him pick-boy
leeny is asking (unless she chickens out…) gus out tomorrow
ck now likes paul, who i think probably likes her too
that’s about it…
157.
S&Mel | March 4, 2008 at 12:26 pm
It’s so weird. It must be mating season, because the same thing seems to be happening with my friends.
154- Ugh. Suckage.
So anyway. Happy story: Yay he’s home for spring break!
Long frustrating story: Actually, I’m not particularly frustrated at the moment so it won’t do any good to type it.
So more yay-ness. We hung out for the last three days. No, that is not overkill. Saturday, it was briefly at my house then at the mall because I needed to get stuff for a birthday party that evening. Sunday, at a mutual friend’s house where we partook in the playing of Two Hour Long Board Games with Unnecessarily Complicated Rules. That one involved my having access to weapons/poking sticks in case he was winning. No worries, no bruises were left and he likes being hit anyway. Then yesterday he got me from school and we were sleepy and basically did nothing. Yay fun times.
158.
Jadestone | March 8, 2008 at 1:14 pm
Soooo one of my best friends got cast as Belle in the musical at our school, Beauty and the Beast, and the Beast is her slightly-stalker drug-dealing/doing ex who got kicked out of our school for failing classes (but can still be in the drama program here cause the school he got put in does’t have one) and who she does not like being around. So. This will be… interesting…
159.
gradster1 | March 8, 2008 at 2:51 pm
It’s very disturbing that I fit nearly every ‘like’ section… Very. Disturbing. While I’m mildly interested now, I’m also wondering if it’s just because the people that like Muse are more likely to be like me. But still – very disturbed. The only things that I don’t have are height and confidence. Which is why I’m still single.
@57 I hope that too… Desperately so.
/gradster(1)/
160.
oxlin | March 8, 2008 at 3:20 pm
158- oh Beauty and the Beast. My friend was cast as Beauty and my brother as Beast and now they’re dating. (that was not meant to indicate anything regarding your production…) I was Mrs. Potts. Out of curiosity, what sort of person is your Mrs. Potts?
161.
Jadestone | March 8, 2008 at 3:55 pm
159- She’s almost perfect for the part. Naturally bubbly, good actress, can sing well, we all knew she would get it. ^^ Sounds like a fun role to me.
162.
Fortune Cell | March 8, 2008 at 6:38 pm
My eighth grade east coast trip went to see Beauty and the Beast on Broadway, and I liked it a lot more than I expected.
Anyways, I get back to school tomorrow, after almost a 3 week break, hence my lack of posting here. Hopefully something interesting will happen
163.
Fortune Cell | March 15, 2008 at 8:35 pm
the guy I like is not ready for a relationship and I know this.
accepted it?
not so much.
164.
Jadestone | April 9, 2008 at 5:08 pm
Celebrating exactly one year of patheticness on my part.
*bangs head on wall*
Most of it spent trying to tell myself I don’t like him… though i still don’t have a clue as to why I should…
165.
Lizzie | April 10, 2008 at 2:38 pm
I may or may not have a crush on this one guy. He may or may not like me back.
SO. FRUSTRATING.
166.
Lady Montague | April 10, 2008 at 3:22 pm
I realized today that I am the only one of my friends who isn’t in a relationship, or doesn’t at least like somebody.
167.
ebeth who is too lazy to sign in | April 10, 2008 at 4:40 pm
In some bizarre scene that i don’t quite understand even now, ebeth for some reason agreed to go to prom.
Ebeth doesn’t really want to go to prom. Ebeth doesn’t want to go buy a dress and wear it and stand around watching rich white kids pretending to be ghetto and dancing to the worst possible hip-hop imaginable.
Fortunately, ebeth is probably going to skip the after party (which is at a fitness center this year instead of gameworks. what?), and go see rocky horror in the theater with her friends instead
168.
darkdukeofdarkness | April 10, 2008 at 5:56 pm
^can Ebeth not simply unagree to go to the prom?
169.
ebeth | April 11, 2008 at 3:23 pm
168-ebeth would feel bad, especially since ebeth’s bf really wanted to go
170.
FrigidSymphony | April 12, 2008 at 2:19 am
169: Ebeth can exchange sexual favours for not going to the prom. I assure you ebeth’s boyfriend won’t mind. We’re made that way. Give us a blowjob, we’ll do ANYTHING.
171.
Shadow Gallery | April 12, 2008 at 7:51 am
170– Not even a blowjob, in some cases.
172.
ebeth who is too lazy to sign in | April 12, 2008 at 8:31 am
170-ebeth doesn’t think she and her bf are quite ready for blowjobs. but thanks for the suggestion
ebeth doesn’t mind the promness itself, but the preparation annoys her.
ebeth should stop talking in third person
oh also boy-who-likes-ebeth awkwardly walked her home yesterday…conversation
ebeth: isn’t your house that way?
bwle: yeah but i don’t feel like going home
ebeth: didn’t you say your mom would flip if you weren’t home at 10:30?
bwle: yeah but i called her and she thinks i’m walking all the way from [ebeth's bf's] so it’s good (we had migrated over to bill’s earlier, which is closer)
ebeth: um, ok
*blahblahblah*
ebeth: so where are you going?
bwle: i don’t know…walking you home i guess
ebeth: um, you don’t actually have to, i’ll probably just tell mom i got a ride anyway (ebeth’s mom is paranoid about ebeth getting raped)
bwle: well whatever
ebeth: um. ok.
i probably should have told him to go home…i felt kind of bad though
173.
Fortune Cell | April 12, 2008 at 9:31 am
Well.
M is dating this girl now, I believe a freshman.
Yeah. Three friends of mine and I were sitting on the field after the dance concert last night
One of them said he heard M made out with this girl…
then one other confirmed it…
then later, we saw them walking around this building we were near…
T’s pissed at him and she was like “fine, he’s gonna be a jerk. I’ll make it awkward. HEY M”
so he turned and looked at us for a second
then turned around and walked away
174.
Mel | April 12, 2008 at 3:37 pm
167- You sound exactly like I did about this time last year… Try to bear with it? It shouldn’t be too bad. It should even be bearable if you know a good number of people who are going to prom… Other than that, all I have to say is wear comfortable shoes. I mean, you’ll have a floor-length dress anyway. So no one will notice if you don’t have shiny painful heels. I wore combat boots. This is a really useless reply… Just try to have a lovely time with your lovely boyfriend and avoid cameras? Oh, and maybe you
requestdemand sexual favours from him as compensation for your going to prom with him ;D173- *hugs and ice creame and cookies for Julia; pain for M*
175.
Jadestone | April 12, 2008 at 8:26 pm
At our school dances we all just check out shoes in with our coats. Bare feet yess.
176.
Mel | April 13, 2008 at 7:59 am
175- Wow, that’s rather awesome.
177.
Mel | April 13, 2008 at 11:37 am
Also, about 3 weeks until my relationship is no longer long-distance. Yay! ^_^
178.
ebeth who is too lazy to sign in | June 9, 2008 at 6:27 pm
ebeth’s bitching time
so andy’s babysitting until like 5 every morning, and i have fucking driving class from 6-9, and then he’s always like “oh i have to sleep i have to babysit tomorrow” and i’m like “fucking hell we are going to have like no time to hang out” and he’s like “no i stop babysitting like next week”
what fucking ever, we only have two weeks after that before he goes to israel for over a month. and then i’m going to the UP.
actually it’s not really his fault, he’s being all responsible and shit, but i’m feeling irrationally needy and depressed and goddammit i needs mah andy.
i should probably just sleep…i’m guessing that would solve most of my problems. i’ve gotten about 7 hours in the past two days…first rocky and then a sleepover
god i feel like i have major PMS except my period’s definitely over. can you have post-menstrual syndrome? that would be a wonderful excuse
179.
potatochip42 | June 10, 2008 at 7:35 pm
178-
*choklit* Sleep is good.
I have pre-menstrual syndrome, menstrual syndrome, and post-menstrual syndrome. It’s my excuse for everything.
180.
tetracontakaidigon | June 11, 2008 at 8:04 pm
I reserve the right to act irrationally whenever I feel like it, regardless of my menstrual state. There are enough other random hormones controlling my actions…
181.
ebeth who is too lazy to sign in | July 14, 2008 at 8:16 am
was going to post this on the MB, then wondered about the word “whoring” and decided i didn’t feel like changing it or pissing people off by leaving it so i’ll just put this story up here
sarah and i had an interesting conversation about how we could never be playahs yesterday. i was telling her how i felt bad because it cost andy ridic amounts of money to call me and he’s done it like five times already, and she was like “why do guys spend money on us? hewitt (her ex now, if anybody missed that) got me these ridiculous earrings once and i was like “waaay too expensive” but i kind of had to take them”
and then cheese was like “oh yeah i know” and we’re like “cheese, we already know you’re too nice”
but we might have to work on our whoring skillz
182.
Lizzie | July 14, 2008 at 12:49 pm
There’s this really cute guy at camp. Like, really gorgeous. Perfect face, perfect body, plays really well.
But he’s 23. Alas.
183.
FrigidSymphony | July 20, 2008 at 10:21 am
In case I never posted any pics of my better half, and in case someone was wondering what she looks like, here you go: (envy time
)
http://www.webti.ch/profilo.php5?id=23562&mode=photo&pic_id=307661#pic
http://www.webti.ch/profilo.php5?id=23562&mode=photo&pic_id=306527#pic
http://www.webti.ch/profilo.php5?id=23562&mode=photo&pic_id=304572#pic
184.
Fortune Cell | August 9, 2008 at 1:33 pm
183- They’re all quite myspace-y.
185.
ebeth who is too lazy to sign in | September 14, 2008 at 11:46 am
my friends and i came to a realization yesterday
i have the smallest boobs out of the three of us, and my bf has the smallest hands
cheese has the middle size boobs, and her bf has the middle size hands
sarah has the biggest boobs, and her bf has the biggest hands
coincidence? or not?
186.
Mel | September 14, 2008 at 12:01 pm
It all makes sense now!
187.
FrigidSymphony | September 14, 2008 at 12:16 pm
Helping along oral intercourse with anal stimulation works for the ladies too, just found out today
188.
Beavo | September 14, 2008 at 2:15 pm
185-None. I have tiny hands, and my girlfriend’s boobs are pretty big for a freshman shorter than an eighth grader.
189.
kricket | September 14, 2008 at 2:36 pm
I… am feeling like a youngster as I am reading this. What I was going to say was that I have a boyfriend now (for me that’s amazing), but it just kind of sounds a bit childish right now.
On a side note, I have middle-sized boobs and my boyfriend has big hands… or at least they’re bigger than mine and my hands are fairly large… :]
190.
Beavo | September 14, 2008 at 2:45 pm
189-Me too. I’m in eighth grade, my girlfriend’s in ninth, and we’re both virgins, and that’s not gonna change for at least three years.
191.
Shadow Gallery | September 14, 2008 at 4:28 pm
185– It does make sense! Holy shit! And I guess my tits are perfect size for my boyfriend’s hands? We discovered this…I don’t even know when…a long time ago. But he said if my tits were any bigger it wouldn’t work nearly as well, as far as fondling goes. Already we have a vast size difference, but we don’t need any more complications (he’s over a foot taller than me and about twice my weight).
192.
Mel | September 15, 2008 at 10:47 am
191- It’s pretty much the same situation with me and my man-slave. just, he’s about 10 inches taller and maybe 15lbs heavier? He’s skinny. And has pretty hair but won’t update his Facebook to show it!
Note to self: check hand-size of David Tennant.
193.
Fortune Cell | September 29, 2008 at 9:41 pm
So there’s a couple that has been getting on everyone’s nerves, yeah?
They are That Couple. The one that cannot be without each other. The girlie says she likes him more than us. They’ve been dating four months. They talk about marriage (and how no sex until!).
Blehhh.
194.
Fortune Cell | November 27, 2008 at 3:33 pm
Bah no one posts in this thread >:[
anyway, nothing new. There was this guy who I kind of sort of liked, who asked me out at the end of last year, but apparently he is pro-prop 8. yuck. one of my friends was like, “you have to go out with him, he’s sooo in love with you.”
how unattractive.
195.
kricket | November 27, 2008 at 4:52 pm
194- pro prop 8?
I felt like coming back here… My boyfriend and I are getting on perfectly well. Almost 3 months. whee.
So what are people’s feelings on pre-marital sex? I mean, I’d like to think that I’m going to remain a virgin until marriage but… hehe, the likelihood of that happening… not so good.
196.
Beavo | November 27, 2008 at 7:09 pm
Yeah, I like, never post here because my romantic life is kind of fine and not worrisome.
Seven months in TWO DAYS!
Take THAT, you “middle school relationships never last” people!
Actually, it’s only half a middle school relationship now. It started when Clarissa was in eighth and I was in seventh, but now I’m in eighth and she’s over at the high school.
But yeah, it’s lasted a lot longer than any other middle school relationships I know. Most are pretty short and stupid, as you all know…
Wow. I just realized I’m probably the youngest person on here.
195-I’m going to be a virgin until I fall in love, and when that happens, I’ll most likely get married to that person, which means I won’t be having any pre-marital sex.
197.
glasseh (DEATH) | November 27, 2008 at 8:20 pm
What about the time apart…?
And what’s stopping you from having sex before you’re actually married to that person?
198.
tetracontakaidigon | November 27, 2008 at 9:18 pm
premarital sex- well, assuming that you use birth control and are both in a monogamous relationship and have been tested for STDs and things, no problems. It seems that to me, personally, it would be a pretty serious mental commitment to someone to have sex with them and if we’re not staying together then I might have troubles breaking that attachment… did that make any sense?
everyone is happy here! I can’t complain! oh well, you’ll all ignore me anyway… so a couple people I know were guessing who I liked about a week ago and lying never works well and I’m kind of tired of nothing happening except for fantasies and dreams becoming increasingly bothersome, so I admitted who when they guessed him. It’s not that I don’t trust them, but I’m paranoid. And looking at that, it seems so trivial, but I really like him and there is a very low probability that he likes me so I expect the worst to occur shortly. I hate the way I write that, and the terms I use, but I can’t find a better way to say it that I want to post online knowing that I could be found here.
199.
Beavo | November 27, 2008 at 9:20 pm
If I’m really in love, I can wait the time in between.
There’s nothing stopping me, I guess. Except maybe that if it’s really my first time, I’ll probably suck. And when it’s your girlfriend, she can walk off if you suck, but that’s harder to do if you’re married.
200.
FrigidSymphony | November 28, 2008 at 8:04 am
There is such a thing as sex without emotions to it, you know. And if you’ve never had sex, it’s easy to say “yeah, I can wait, go without, etc”. Bullshit. Once you get used to it you’re fucked. My ex left me a month ago (after a year and 3 months together), and I went from getting pussy twice a day to nothing at all. And my new girl is a virgin, which could result in complications. Last night she told me “look, if you really want to have sex, then just go hook up with someone else, I don’t care”. And I responded with “Hell no, I want you. You’re getting eaten out, girl.”
201.
Beavo | November 28, 2008 at 7:47 pm
I’ll remember not to get “used to it”, then.
I dunno, it sounds stupid, I’m just not the kind of person who would have emotionless sex. Then again, I haven’t tried, so I wouldn’t know.
This is just my standpoint for now, btw. My views are always changing, and I could be a thirteen year old man whore a year from now, although I seriously doubt it.
202.
FrigidSymphony | November 29, 2008 at 2:42 am
Everyone can have emotionless sex. Especially guys. At a certain point you realize that there is no right and wrong, but only flesh, and the power to procure pleasure from it.
203.
Mel | November 29, 2008 at 12:58 pm
193- Bleargh.
195- If it feels right, go for it. Watch out for the HIV.
196- I think I’m the oldest! Shit. No. Oxlin’s older. And if groundhog’s made her way here, that’d put me at number three. Damn.
200- “And if you’ve never had sex, it’s easy to say ‘yeah, I can wait, go without, etc’.” I think you’ve got something here.
Also, how the hell did you make room for sex twice a day? Jealous.
204.
Beavo | November 29, 2008 at 8:25 pm
202-I’ll remember that the second I turn sixteen or something, but even if my view points change by then, I’m still not going to be getting oral in the freshmen girls’ bathrooms.
For now.
But things change, right?
205.
tetracontakaidigon | November 29, 2008 at 8:39 pm
202- That’s depressingly nihilistic. Why shouldn’t I want sex to be something special? And of course if I want that then it will be, and maybe if I don’t want it, because I am not in control of my emotions or hormones at all.
Also, “especially guys”? That feels misogynistic. It gives you the opportunity to say that this post doesn’t matter because I’m not a guy, and to cite some anecdotal evidence that females are weaker emotionally. I’d kind of like to see a study of this.
204- Of course not. You could get a disease. And the freshman girls probably don’t get much out of giving you oral, which isn’t really fair.
…do they really do that? This is why I avoid the school bathrooms.
206.
ebeth who is too lazy to sign in | November 30, 2008 at 10:15 am
205-no, especially guys because they don’t get pregnant. and if it gets out, instead of being called a slut they’ll be congratulated. and it’s just a hell of a lot easier for guys. there’s a reason they’re the ones that usually want sex more
with females, there’s always a possibility that something will happen. even if there is birth control involved (which there should be btw!) there’s still that whole instinctive “this-is-baby-making” deal. this might just be my somewhat sexist opinion, but i think it’s a lot easier for guys to have emotionless sex. with girls, it seems like it really has to mean something
that’s all not without exceptions, of course. people vary in the whole subconscious, evolutionary, instinctive type stuff. and forgive the rambling, i’ve been nanoing like crazy the last few days and consequently have nothing coherent to say.
207.
Lizzie | November 30, 2008 at 12:45 pm
It makes sense biologically / in terms of evolution, also, if you think about it. For guys, spreading their seed widely is better in terms of having the highest percentage of offspring surviving, while for females, since they are the ones who have to carry the fetuses / raise the offspring, choosing a guy who will stick around and help raises the chance of their offspring surviving, while having sex with multiple guys doesn’t since you can only be pregnant with one guy’s offspring at a time.
208.
Jadestone | November 30, 2008 at 4:12 pm
207- Reminds me of that book in the Ender series. I was going to say something like that. There was another thing as well…
Oh yes. With guys, they have the ability to procreate basically whenever, whereas girls have a smallish window of opportunity where they would become pregnant. So they’re more likely to (biologically) want sex around then, I think, whereas guys could want it nearly all the time. Obviously no true in all cases as strict biology doesn’t always prevail, ect. Not sure where I heard this so it may be wrong, but it makes sense, I think.
209.
Beavo | November 30, 2008 at 6:09 pm
205-Someone was caught last year in the eighth grade bathroom giving oral to her boyfriend.
There’s actually a lot more promiscuous girls in the high school across the street than guys, although the guys talk about what they got (lie) a lot more.
Did I even say something about the whore four? It was started in seventh grade, with a bunch of girls who thought they were so cool starting their own clique. Somebody watches Mean Girls too much.
210.
Mel | November 30, 2008 at 7:36 pm
205- Or misandrist, if he’s calling guys assholes. Huh, Firefox doesn’t recognize that as a word. Also, some girls like giving oral.
211.
FrigidSymphony | December 6, 2008 at 5:42 am
I said especially guys because from what I’ve seen so far, the male sex is far more capable of indulging in sexual activities for nothing more than the physical pleasure. And I’m not saying sex can’t be special, of course it can. But emotional happenings during sex serve only to increase the orgasm, which in the guy’s case is caused by purely physical reasons, whereas in the girl’s case, if it’s an inner orgasm (as opposed to an outer orgasm, caused by stimulation of the clitoris, which is also purely physical) it’s a combination of physical stimulation of the vaginal nerves and g-spot with mental and psychological comfort and happiness.
Basically sex isn’t necessarily better if it’s with the guy/girl of your naive dreams.
Sorry if I may sound a bit bitter, but I’m still recuperating from my sudden loss of sex.
212.
ebeth who is too lazy to sign in | December 6, 2008 at 11:06 am
211-point, but i’d say my mental and psychological comfort and happiness would be much more with a guy i really liked than just any guy
part of it is that if it were just some guy to me, i would know that i was just some girl to him. which is what it is, i’m not saying you can’t get any pleasure from that, but in terms of feeling happy and safe like you were saying, it doesn’t help a whole lot
213.
FrigidSymphony | December 7, 2008 at 7:30 am
What about the thrill of a one night stand? The danger involved in fucking a complete stranger? There are a shitload of other psychological factors besides “romance” that you’re not taking into account.
214.
Mel | December 8, 2008 at 12:01 pm
I’d say it matters on the person/people and what matters to them.
215.
Shadow Gallery | December 8, 2008 at 1:31 pm
Uhm…
there’s a whole lot to say here, I just don’t feel like saying it all.
From my experience, what matters most is respect. Sure, you can sleep with someone on the basis that you love each other, but– you can never sure that the person you love is who you’ll be with forever. Sex is an extremely healthy part of life, and in some way a part of every relationship. You can save yourself for marriage, I don’t care, but I think in terms of emotional security, what matters more is that you’re comfortable with the person and there’s mutual respect and understanding of what part sex will play in the relationship– be it long term or just a one night stand.
216.
kinky | December 8, 2008 at 6:01 pm
I’ve read that women are more likely to want emotionless sex during the fertile part of the their cycle and more likely to want a guy who will stick around during the infertile part. Also, they are more likely to find masculine, hard featured men attractive when they are fertile and find more effeminate soft-featured men attractive when they are infertile. It makes sense, if you ignore the fact that men might not want to raise someone else’s child. When fertile, the goal is to get pregnant, and more masculine men are perceived, accurately or inaccurately, as being more virile. More effeminate men are perceived as being more sensitive and nurturing, skills useful for raising a child.
217.
FrigidSymphony | December 16, 2008 at 4:06 pm
Gah my gfs going to Norway for three weeks
218.
Mel | December 19, 2008 at 2:16 pm
New topic.
Screamer.
219.
Kagcomix | December 21, 2008 at 5:12 pm
hmmm… interesting. I happen to be in the “Lack thereof” category. I don’t care. I don’t particularly want a relationship at all. Correct me if I’m wrong (I have no experience in this area) but I feel it would greatly restrict my freedom, and I really do enjoy myself alone. Hell, I barely even see friends out of school. In conclution: I would be impossible to be in a relationship with because I would eventually totaly shut the “other” out.
220.
Mel | December 29, 2008 at 12:11 am
Sweet! I totally thought I’d killed the thread. Anyone have awkward love-lives-related stories?
This one time I killed the LLL thread. Yupppp.
219- My SO thinks I shut him out every once and a while, too. If you want to, you could probably find someone who’d be cool with the fact that you wouldn’t want to change much for another person. If you don’t want to, you’re not missing out on too much.
221.
penguini | December 29, 2008 at 12:09 pm
219- quite.
Every once in a while I get the “It would be nice to have an (experimental) boyfriend” thought. And then I realize I can’t just return the boyfriend if I don’t like him/the relationship.
222.
Shadow Gallery | December 29, 2008 at 9:06 pm
*weird drama*
223.
Beavo | December 30, 2008 at 6:34 pm
222-Isn’t there always?
This thread has actually radically changed my views on sex. Okay, maybe not radically, but still. I can actually see what FS means about the thrill of random stranger sex, and although I don’t see myself doing that, I probably wouldn’t have much of a problem with it if I was totally single.
It would probably have to be with a guy, though.
224.
Shadow Gallery | December 30, 2008 at 9:38 pm
223– No, this is beyond your typical weird…
225.
FrigidSymphony | December 31, 2008 at 8:25 am
223: Glad I could help ^^
226.
Shadow Gallery | January 3, 2009 at 11:57 am
Okay.
I am trying to think of a way to say this so people don’t flip out and are all “PEDOPHILE” etc. Because that’s mostly what I’m worried about, is people who aren’t very close to the situation not knowing what they’re talking about and jumping to conclusions and getting someone unnecessarily in trouble.
So anyway, I volunteer at a rather eccentric non-profit organization that teaches kids about science and technology. The facilities are under construction, and the crew basically consists of teenagers who like geeky stuff and want to help out. We’ll be getting paid fairly soon, like, within the next year. The core crew, who works practically every day they can, has gotten to be good friends with the people who run the organization. The people in charge are, of course, older than us, but they treat us like adults because well…we are adults. We’re more mature than the typical fifteen, sixteen year old, anyway. So we’ve gotten to be friends with people in their mid-late twenties and even early thirties.
And the guy who is mostly in charge is thirty three, and we’ve all gotten to be good friends with him. No problems with teenagers being friends with people older than them. But, he has developed a rather massive crush on me. It must be noted that while I am fifteen, I do not act like a typical fifteen year old. By a practically unanimous vote, I act way more mature than most adults. So I can see where he would be confused by my maturity level and my age clashing.
We’ve talked about this a lot, just trying to sort it out, and we know that there’s no way in hell anything is going to happen, at least not in the next decade, as I am very illegal and I’m dating another one of my supervisor’s best friends (he is sixteen). So basically we have to go back to forgetting our age difference. And that’s totally cool, I have no interest in him whatsoever. There’s no sexual tension, there’s just a weird awkward, one-sided crush going on. Because he has said, “if I could put a frog in your hair to prove I love you, I would”– basically he has no idea how to express affection without freaking someone out. He hasn’t tried anything, but he’s totally cool with me telling him to stop. And he has been very respectful and everything, so no problems there.
But mostly what I am not understanding is why I stick out so much. This guy has had and can have practically any girl he wants. He has at least four girlfriends right now, if not five, who all know about each other. But these are the smartest and most attractive girls you’re going to find. They speak several languages, have worked at NASA, are lawyers, take your pick. He can definitely afford to be picky and date only the best of the best. He’s been around the block. And I don’t know why I stick out so much, out of every woman he’s ever known.
He said that I’ve taught him a lesson: “how to love a girl without being in love with her.” And that he doesn’t have many true friends, but he considers me one of them. I think I am still getting used to this, and it’s weird. I am not terribly creeped out, because he’s not going to pull anything and he doesn’t like me just because I’m younger– it’s mostly because I act much older than I am. And it’s not like he doesn’t care about me, either: he thinks that my boyfriend and I make a phenomenal couple, because we’re so responsible and mature and respectful of each other; he has offered to pay for an abortion for me, should I ever get pregnant while in high school/college; and is basically willing to go through hell for me, my boyfriend and my friends. He has proven this…my friend Sean has been almost kicked out of his house, my supervisor offered him a place to stay. He gave a house to a pair of his workers who need a leg up to get their lives on track (due to divorces, records, etc.). He’s not out to get me, certainly not out to steal me from my boyfriend.
So once I think about and forget the scary age difference, it’s just something that’s simply not going to happen. But initially, it’s still a very weird situation, for a thirty-three year old to have a massive crush on a fifteen year old. He’s a great guy but it’s…weird. And I really don’t want people to assume that’s he’s a serial rapist and report just for being friends with a fifteen year old girl, because nothing is happening. It looks bad. And it’s the sort of thing that looks bad that gets people in a lot of trouble without there being a whole lot of strong evidence. He does like me, but there’s no pursue. And I really don’t want the bad image to get in the way of our ability to be friends– i.e., if my parents find out freak out.
I am also concerned about my boyfriend thinking that something is up between us. I mean, my boyfriend and everyone on the crew and everyone who sees us regularly know that he likes me. They know that he has a huge crush on me. And I know my boyfriend trusts me to not do anything because I really don’t like my supervisor, but I mean…your girlfriend disappears with your thirty three year old boss to have a conversation, and you just wonder. You don’t mean to, but you wonder and you kinda freak out. I know he tries to not be bothered by it, but I also know that he still is. Because this guy will also do practically anything to get what he wants, even though, in this case, he’s not doing anything to get what he wants. And the last thing I want is for my boyfriend to give up on me because for some reason he thinks I’d rather be with my supervisor…I also don’t want him to give up on our work at the organization, because I know that’s one of the few things he really puts his heart and soul into right now. I don’t want him to lose that, and I don’t want to lose him.
I don’t’ know…it’s just a very weird situation. Any input would be nice.
227.
ebeth who is too lazy to sign in | January 3, 2009 at 12:33 pm
226-holy shit. that is definitely a weird situation. but honestly, i think you’re already dealing with it the right way. as long as he knows where you stand, and you trust him not to try anything, and your boyfriend trusts you…i think really the only advice i can give is to make sure you always have clear communication between the three of you, so that you all know what’s going on. as for everyone else freaking out about it…again, i think it’s an issue with communication, make sure they all know that you don’t like him and that nothing is going to happen between you two and that you are not being sexually harassed in any way
228.
Mel | January 3, 2009 at 4:15 pm
226- Woah. So, just to clarify, full-on marry-me love? Rather than uncle/older-brother-type love? That is so awkward. Avoid him? I mean, yeah, avoiding him would sort-of strain any friendship, but it’d thin out the awkward weirdness once he realizes what’s happening… Or tell your boyfriend this and see if he’ll talk to your supervisor?
229.
FrigidSymphony | January 6, 2009 at 3:54 pm
You’re jailbait, just remind him of that.
230.
Shadow Gallery | January 7, 2009 at 6:16 pm
Mel: Not full-on marry-me take-long-showers-with-me kind of love. But not exactly brother/uncle love, either. I mean…he DOES have a crazy crush on me. But it’s a crazy crush that he knows will never happen, so he’s not acting on it at all. We are good friends, so being able to talk about it is a plus. I’m not sure that avoiding him would solve much– he’d just miss me more. And again, we are good friends. As for my boyfriend talking to him, I’m not sure that there’s much that can be said. There isn’t any concern about him trying to get with me or something, but it’s still weird for us.
Fridgy: Yeah. He knows. It’s just a mental thing, because I act and look so much older…again, I think it confuses him. But not enough to do something stupid.
231.
FrigidSymphony | January 8, 2009 at 3:25 pm
Meh, you’re a girl, the stronger sex by nature when it comes to relationships. Fuck it
232.
ebeth who is too lazy to sign in | January 8, 2009 at 3:49 pm
231-Actually, i think the idea here is not to fuck it.
233.
Shadow Gallery | January 8, 2009 at 4:18 pm
…thank you for that, Ebeth.
234.
ebeth who is too lazy to sign in | January 9, 2009 at 2:05 pm
You’re very, very welcome.
I excel at making stupid comments, as was demonstrated yet again today in band…
235.
Shadow Gallery | January 10, 2009 at 8:27 am
It’s totally cool. I think this situation needs a few stupid comments to ease the confusion, anyway
236.
FrigidSymphony | January 25, 2009 at 4:15 am
Goddammit, fucking conservative school, fucking conservative parents of gf, and fucking paranoid own parents.
My gf is 16, a virgin, and horny as fuck. Her mother is an ultra conservative from a Chinese family raised in Indonesia, and her dad is a passive Norwegian, unfortunately dominated by his wife. The school she’s boarding at is paying for more than half of my attendance there. If I fuck up, I’m out, penniless, and fucked.
Now, I talk to my parents about everything. I told them Siri wants me to get checked for STDs, and that she wants to get birth control without her parents knowing (her mother would flip). My parents want us to wait until she’s 17, because apparently everything changes, even though the legal age is 16. They’re worried that if her parents find out, they’d pressure the school to throw me out, or the school would just throw me out anyway. Fucking shit.
Anyway, I’m ready to wait until she’s 17 (it’ll be in 4 months), also because I want her to get more comfortable with intimacy than she is now (had to fight to eat her out), but fuck, the situation is so full of unreasonable fucks and problems that it’s really fucking pissing me off.
237.
Shadow Gallery | January 25, 2009 at 12:13 pm
Personally, if I wanted to get more intimate with someone, I wouldn’t fight the person for it…but that could just be me.
238.
Beavo | January 26, 2009 at 7:03 pm
The ONLY thing my parents trust me with is not to start sex in high school. The only thing my gf’s parents DON’T trust her with is boys. Apparently we all have double intentions and don’t mean a word we say. We get the vagina and get out. I admit that might be fun, but it’s not really how I am. She knows that, but they’re hoes and freak out whenever they see us sitting a foot apart. Because you can totally get AIDS and pregnant from holding hands…
And MY parents are freaked out that I’m going to become a Satanist (really, what’s wrong with Satanists?) but I could have AIDS and get pregnant and they wouldn’t care.
And I’m guy. We don’t even get pregnant.
239.
glasseh (DEATH) | January 26, 2009 at 7:08 pm
Oooh, have them read up on LaVeyan Satanism.
And that sucks, btw. 
I don’t know what my or Helena’s parents’ reactions are, but I doubt that they’re close to that. 
240.
ebeth | January 26, 2009 at 8:05 pm
my parents-”she won’t have sex, right? she’s too smart for that. i know she wouldn’t do that”
them: you’re not having sex are you???!!11?!
me: no (i actually am a virgin still :O))
them: well good, i knew you wouldn’t…just…still…be smart!
andy’s parents (about andy): hey, at least he’s not mark (his brother)
241.
groundhog22 | January 26, 2009 at 9:14 pm
Beavo – Satanism has a few different forms, if I’m not mistaken. Which one are you joining?
My parents are probably more worried about my getting raped than my voluntarily having sex. Just because my dad lived in the dorm with all the sex maniacs for a year when he was in college, they think that all college guys will rape you if they get the chance.
242.
Mel | January 27, 2009 at 10:45 am
240- Every time I come home from break, my mother gives me this hilarious abstinence lecture.
Riiiiiight ;D
243.
penguini | January 27, 2009 at 1:32 pm
238- heehee. Have fun being a Satanist. Expect some (more) weird looks.
I don’t really ever get lectures or talks or anything. I get implications, which are bloody annoying. Sex isn’t really a question(yet).
244.
Shadow Gallery | January 27, 2009 at 1:33 pm
My mom at least happy with my decision to put myself on birth control before getting in on (that’s a lie, but we used condoms and such the first time), but she’s still all “GAAAHDISEASES.” But being that we’ve only had sex with each other, I’m not terribly worried about it.
Mind you, the only reason for her knowing about this in the first place is because, while rooting through my room, she found my shit from Planned Parenthood <.<
245.
ebeth | January 27, 2009 at 4:36 pm
244-my mom found shit from planned parenthood in my room. but it was legit from a presentation in health class.
i really want to call some of the hotlines sometime and just fuck with people…
246.
Beavo | January 27, 2009 at 5:33 pm
I’m not really a Satanist, you know. Mom thinks black boots+Hot Topic=automatic satanism
I found a shirt somewhere that went something like “Yes, everything you think about me is true. I’m a Satanist who murders children, eats their insides, travels to graveyards to have kinky sex with my girlfriend and dance around bathed in the infant’s blood, while listening to loud music. Yes, beware.”
today:
Clarissa and me: *in bedroom*
Mom: *pops in* I get scared when you guys are too quiet. *think’s she’s funny*
Clarissa: *…*
Me: Go die, mom.
Mom: hahahaha *leaves room laughing*
also.
Mom: LaVey was a SATANIST! *everyone who is a SATANIST isn’t really a satanist, just bad*
Me: Yeah, I know. He kind of started it.
Re: sex talks-
Mom: you know, you’re getting to the age where-
Me: Stop right there. We are NOT having this conversation.
247.
groundhog22 | January 27, 2009 at 6:55 pm
@Beavo: Oh. Never mind that then…
Planned Parenthood: Something that my senior year health teacher was actually against. She basically said that taking birth control is like killing babies.
248.
Shadow Gallery | January 28, 2009 at 7:37 pm
245: Please don’t! I love Planned Parenthood a lot! They’re nice to people!
Beavo: I love your remarks. “Go die, Mom.” “We are NOT having this conversation.” But then, Moms sort of ask for those kinds of things.
247: Don’t let that fool you…Planned Parenthood is the shizz…and it seriously pisses me off when people say that birth control kills. Yeah, because dissolving an unfertilized cell is murder. *stabs people*
My parents and I never had a talk…my mom tried desperately, but I usually went into hysterics or just left the room. When they found out about PP, I just explained the situation, told them very politely to fuck off and never mention it again. Which, of course, they did.
249.
groundhog22 | January 28, 2009 at 8:58 pm
248 – Oh believe me, I didn’t. Several of us, me included, asked her why someone who doesn’t have the means to take care of a child shouldn’t take birth control. But apparently she’d rather have children brought into the world with no one to take care of them than have unfertilized eggs “killed.”
250.
tetracontakaidigon | January 28, 2009 at 9:04 pm
the talk:
when I was in fifth grade mother opted into having a parent take you to some video which explained things somewhat (every month or so you start bleeding. this means you’re old enough to have babies. the way that works is that some boy will stick his penis into your vagina and nine months later you give birth.). also gave me some book supposed to explain things which I ignored and shoved into some back corner (looked at it recently again and maybe I shouldn’t have done that?). tried to talk to me but I just sat around awkwardly and didn’t ask questions.
Eighth grade health class they attempted to explain but after the first day there was too much laughter and the gym teacher gave up and just assigned packets to answer questions on. The class where I left after the first fifteen minutes every day for math. I think I copied the answers from someone else.
ninth grade biology I actually learned about why stuff happened. by then I’d figured pretty much everything out from context, but still.
Mother asks me now about what she should tell my sister. While my sister and father are in the room. I say, the internet was helpful for looking stuff up. Mother takes this to mean that there are useful websites. Which there are, but what I meant was that I learned too much from lurking on the xkcd fora and suchlike… I try to shelter my parents from finding out things about me.
251.
penguini | January 29, 2009 at 1:14 pm
Health never really explained anything. There was a huge unit on STDs and the famed STD slides(bring a big hat that can be pulled down over your eyes because you really really really don’t need to see that) and a lot of snickering and giggling from the
knucke dragging moronsless mature members of our class.We’re watching the merchant of venice in english. It’s rated R for occasional nudity. Which is fast forwarded over. Occasionally there are boobs on screen.
Most of the class: OMG boobs! EWWW!
Everybody else: What’s wrong with you people?
…and so on…
252.
ebeth | January 29, 2009 at 6:25 pm
248-most of the hotlines aren’t actually run by planned parenthood i don’t think…they just put out info on them
re: health-i missed this, but apparently in middle school health at my current school a teacher brought in a video of his wife giving birth, and held up a cardboard box to prevent them from seeing the vagina…and then dropped the box
253.
groundhog22 | January 29, 2009 at 6:43 pm
252 – I fail to see the point of bringing in a video of someone giving birth and then trying to cover up the vagina. It sounds like something out of a comedy.
254.
Lizzie | January 30, 2009 at 3:16 pm
252 – why the hell did he videotape his wife giving birth?
255.
ebeth | January 30, 2009 at 3:33 pm
253- i know, right?
254-i have no fucking clue
256.
Kagcomix | January 31, 2009 at 5:39 pm
247- she seems to be getting preventing adn killing mixed up… and that’s pretty easy to do.
250- nineth grade biology: we got to watch a lovely video of a woman giving birth!
251- people who can’t handle nudity are annoying.
257.
Beavo | January 31, 2009 at 5:49 pm
ebeth- Wow, you’re health teacher has something wrong with him. “Honey, just ignore the video camera, and… uh… do what you need to do…” *drops box*
Has he ever heard of video editing software?
health class: Our health class was actually kind of helpful. The lady probably told a bunch us a bunch of shit, but at least there’s no one going at it in the hallways. Yeah, the STD pics were gross.
Ms. Clark: See this man?
Class: Yes, what’s wrong with HIM?
Ms. Clark: *clicks slide*
Class: Ewww! *several people are excused to the nurse*
Ms. Clark: So don’t have sex.
Class: Okay!
*nobody listens*
258.
groundhog22 | February 1, 2009 at 10:21 am
254 – Some people have this urge to video everything, so that it’ll be on record or something.
Speaking of STD’s, has anyone heard anything more about the HPV vaccine? My mom saw something on the news about a girl who died in her sleep the night after she got her third shot, so now she doesn’t want me getting my third one.
259.
Kagcomix | February 4, 2009 at 5:06 pm
groundhog22- are you getting them too? I have had the first two… and that is scaring me a bit. Although think of it this way: most people get out alive. I do, however, think they are a good idea (the vaccines).
260.
tetracontakaidigon | February 4, 2009 at 6:51 pm
I’ve had the first one or two cervical cancer vaccine shots (one this summer (at the same time as a tetanus shot in the same arm. pain.), maybe one around November or December I don’t remember) and should have a shot sometime this or next month iirc?
I hadn’t heard of any reason not to finish the cycle. After google, I don’t see enough evidence to worry.
261.
Potato Chip (Kelly) | February 4, 2009 at 8:14 pm
My mom is really paranoid about vaccines so I haven’t had any of the HPV vaccine. Not complaining, it means I get to avoid needles.
262.
Shadow Gallery | February 5, 2009 at 1:01 pm
Shots?
Also, don’t complain about going to the doctor until you’ve had a pelvic exam. Seriously. Don’t.
263.
groundhog22 | February 5, 2009 at 8:22 pm
Kagcomix – I’ve already gotten my first two as well. I’m due for my third on the 24th. If I find something that explains that girl’s problem, which would not apply to me, then my mom will let me get it.
Shadow Gallery – Or until you’ve had a tube stuck up your urethra. That hurts.
264.
Shadow Gallery | February 6, 2009 at 8:49 am
263– That too..
265.
Pan | February 7, 2009 at 10:15 pm
Oh, god. I had VCUGs all the time as a kid (I think the last time I had one I was 5) because I had strange kidney issues. I don’t really remember them, except for the fact that they hurt a lot.
266.
groundhog22 | February 8, 2009 at 10:22 am
265 – Yeah, that’s what I had too. I’d gotten a kidney infection when I was in kindergarten, and they did that to make sure that the cause of the infection (urine going back from my bladder into my kidneys) had stopped.
Back onto the subject of love lives, my boyfriend is converting to Judaism soon. Meaning that people won’t look at us funny whenever we’re in public together. (That’s not the reason he’s converting. but it’s a nice side benefit.)
267.
kricket | February 8, 2009 at 2:29 pm
My boyfriend broke up with me. So technically he would be my ex. Ah well. I’ll live.
268.
FrigidSymphony | February 8, 2009 at 2:41 pm
267: You’re free. Go get laid.
269.
Mel | February 10, 2009 at 11:34 am
261- My mother is convinced that I will Never Have The Sex Ever, so I didn’t get it. Not that I wanted it. We hates vaccines, doesn’t we, precious?
It was a huge bitch though. The doctor+nurse were absolute assholes about it. I eventually told them that I liked girls so they’d STFU. Fucking hate doctors.
Them: “Blah blah well the meningitis one is necessary…”
Me: “Mmk.”
Them: “Blah HPV?”
Mother: “SHE KNOWS ABOUT ABSTINENCE.”
Them: “Blah eventually. HPV nao?”
Me: “No thanx.”
Them: “BUT BUT WHY?”
Me: “Do not want.”
Them: “BUT BUT BUT WHY?”
Me: “Uh, I don’t like needles?”
Them: “BUT IT IS GOOD FOR YOU.”
Mother: “ABSTINENCE IS GOOD FOR YOU.”
Me: “Seriously, I don’t need another shot. Especially seeing as it’s, y’know, a pretty new drug. I don’t want to grow tentacles. Well, that’d be cool. But I don’t want my face to fall off. That would suck.”
Them: “WHY DO YOU NOT WANT OUR PRETTY DRUGS?”
Me: “I LIEK BOOBIES.”
Fuck. Them
Them: “Oh, let’s attempt to humiliate young wimminz who want any sort of control over what shit goes in their bodies.”
Fundies: -agree-
Me: “You have got to be kidding.”
270.
Shadow Gallery | February 10, 2009 at 4:25 pm
My ex is apparently “tired of being a good friend.” And is just “going to win [me] back.” Because he is “not going to sit back and watch [me] and Mike date.” Because he will “never, ever get over [me].” And is convinced that I am going to be his “inspiration for being a tragic artist for the rest of [his] life.”
Bull. Fucking. Shit.
I am sick of his shit…HE BROKE UP WITH ME the day after Christmas in 2007…SHUT THE FUCK UP AND GO GET SOMEONE. There is no future for us dating, let alone being friends if he keeps this up. SEAN and I have more of a future that we do. I LIKE Sean. He’s not an ASSHOLE.
Okay, it’s 65 degrees out…I’m going for a walk while I still can. This is such bullshit…
271.
ebeth who is too lazy to sign in | February 10, 2009 at 4:59 pm
“Them: “WHY DO YOU NOT WANT OUR PRETTY DRUGS?”
Me: “I LIEK BOOBIES.””
laughing
so
hard
272.
Potato Chip (Kelly) | February 10, 2009 at 5:17 pm
269- Hahaha, that’s amazing. xD
273.
groundhog22 | February 10, 2009 at 6:48 pm
269 – And in some states, girls are required by law to get the HPV vaccine by 16 or something. Don’t our lawmakers have anything better to do???
270 – He sounds messed up. Like he thinks that he can take you or leave you as he pleases.
274.
Fortune Cell | February 12, 2009 at 8:20 am
I got the HPV vaccine. I had to get so many shots at once a couple months ago >_<
luckily mom let me do 3 at a time. by the time I got the third HPV shot it didn’t bother me really.
270- Start calling him before every time you have sex w/ the BF.
So there’s this British boy.
275.
Vixen | February 12, 2009 at 8:49 am
I got the first HPV vaccine same day I got my anti-food-colouring-allergic-reaction-vaccine (which is three vaccines at once) and it caused me to break out in hives.
In Denmark HPV vaccines are free if you were born later than 1992.
Which means I had to pay two thousand crowns just for the first, and there are two to go. I’m going to be very, very, broke.
And why the fuck can’t my best friend’s friend get that I am not interested in him?
276.
FrigidSymphony | February 12, 2009 at 11:16 am
My gf dumped me yesterday because she “didn’t want to be in a relationship right now”. Fucking 16-year-old, why the hell am I the only teenager who wants commitment? Bullshit. I called three friends demanding company for drinking and introductions to female friends, but it hurts like hell. Can’t eat, can’t sleep, etc. I’ll get over it eventually, and maybe when she matures a bit we’ll meet again.
277.
ebeth who is too lazy to sign in | February 12, 2009 at 4:20 pm
276-i always thought that was a bullshit reason to dump someone. it’s like saying “yeah, you’re too much work for me, sorry. not worth it.”
aaand that probably didn’t make you feel any better. sorry, i suck at comforting.
but f’real.
278.
Shadow Gallery | February 12, 2009 at 4:27 pm
“I called three friends demanding company for drinking and introductions to female friends, but it hurts like hell.”
It seems that if you’re so ready to jump into someone new, as it were…I dunno, it just doesn’t seem like your wanting to moving on so quickly entitles you to a larger outward desire of commitment, either.
279.
FrigidSymphony | February 13, 2009 at 3:55 am
278: I don’t like it, but I have to do it. I can’t keep letting my desire for stability and commitment lead to abandonment and pain. Don’t you dare give me the “you’re so ready to jump into someone new”. I don’t want another relationship, I have to break my dependancy on that.
280.
ebeth who is too lazy to sign in | February 13, 2009 at 10:34 am
279-if you don’t want a relationship, you could try not having anything for a bit. people do it, it’s possible
281.
Shadow Gallery | February 13, 2009 at 10:39 am
279: Have to do what?
And I’m with Ebeth. It seems that you’ve condoned that in the past.
282.
FrigidSymphony | February 13, 2009 at 10:50 am
I need my distractions and to sate my libido. I’m sorry, but I can’t help being an 18 year old with his hormones raging.
283.
groundhog22 | February 13, 2009 at 1:54 pm
276 – You’re right, she needs to mature more if it’s going to work between you. But by the time that happens, who knows how much both or either of you might have changed. If it were me, I would just watch out for anyone who looks like she might be good girlfriend material. It might take a while, but it’s worth it. And girl-hunting is something of a distraction.
284.
Shadow Gallery | February 14, 2009 at 6:36 am
I agree with Groundhog…but I also think that you should realise that maybe, for whatever reason, she didn’t really like you. I recall you saying something along the lines of “practically had to force her to eat her out” or somesuch, and sorry, but that’s no way to handle a girl. You can’t just get into a relationship expecting that there will sex…because in my experience, when people have assumed that with me, their expectation got to be a lot worse as time went on (i.e., breaking up with me because I wouldn’t have sex with them). And no, you can’t help being an eighteen year old with raging hormones, but you can help treating girls respectfully…and no matter what you say, you don’t need sex. You won’t be a failure if you’re not getting pussy 50 times a week.
285.
FrigidSymphony | February 14, 2009 at 8:20 am
284: What I meant when I said that was that she was unnaturally embarrassed about her femininity. Poor girl’s surrounded by a bunch of anorexic diet-obsessed “beauty queens”, and obviously gets depressed.
I do treat girls respectfully, I know how to handle girls, and I don’t think I’ll be a failure. But I do need distractions, I do have urges, and I do love pussy.
Look, I tried giving her everything I could, and she wasn’t mature enough to accept it. Now she’s rejected me, and I have to start thinking about myself, satisfying myself, and not getting trapped in the dependency of relationships. I’m too young for that. I love committed relationships, but I’m not going to jump into something and try to make it special if it isn’t. I’ll just enjoy myself, forget about her, and wait until someone right comes along.
286.
Shadow Gallery | February 14, 2009 at 9:56 am
Even so, making a girl comfortable around you and with herself is more likely to bring success… it takes time. And she’s certainly not the only girl who is “unnaturally embarrassed” about her body.
Yeah, and that’s great, you’re certainly not wrong for loving pussy. But you don’t need it to get through the day.
287.
FrigidSymphony | February 14, 2009 at 10:52 am
Duh. But still.
288.
Shadow Gallery | February 15, 2009 at 9:10 am
But still.
289.
FrigidSymphony | February 15, 2009 at 9:16 am
But still.
This could go on forever. But I don’t care. I’m lonely, I want company, of whatever kind.
290.
Shadow Gallery | February 15, 2009 at 9:35 am
That’s fair.
291.
FrigidSymphony | February 15, 2009 at 10:45 am
Oh, and pussy. I like pussy.
292.
Shadow Gallery | February 15, 2009 at 11:14 am
…Which is also fair. But I wouldn’t trip over other things trying to get to it.
293.
Shadow Gallery | February 26, 2009 at 11:02 am
So yesterday was my one year anniversary with Mike.
We’re celebrating today, since we don’t have school tomorrow, dinner at his house and things.
I know it doesn’t sound like it, but I’m stoked…
that’s all.
294.
FrigidSymphony | February 27, 2009 at 9:46 am
293: Anal makes a great anniversary gift ^^
295.
Shadow Gallery | February 27, 2009 at 4:17 pm
Question:
What is it with guys and anal?
Because while that didn’t happen, and I don’t really care either way, I don’t understand the fascination.
296.
ebeth who is too lazy to sign in | February 28, 2009 at 8:52 am
Anal just sounds painful and unnecessary. but maybe it’s secretly awesome, i wouldn’t know
297.
Shadow Gallery | February 28, 2009 at 10:30 am
I’m fine with it, I just don’t get what’s so special about it.
298.
FrigidSymphony | February 28, 2009 at 4:01 pm
Well, for the receiver it depends on personal taste. As for the the giver, it’s usually always awesome. It’s a lot tighter, and from a psychological point of view it’s a lot hotter. And if you can handle a certain amount of pain and actually maybe enjoy it, you’d love anal. Just make sure you use enough lube, and I’d recommend a rubber too. Some nasty bacteria in there.
299.
Shadow Gallery | February 28, 2009 at 5:12 pm
Okay, that’s all very well, but what I’m mostly asking is why do so many guys consider it “hotter” (all other factors ignored) than pussy thrashing?
300.
FrigidSymphony | March 1, 2009 at 3:31 am
299: Duh, it’s an ass. Stupid question
Seriously though, it’s got something to do with being something “forbidden”, weird and unnatural. It’s kinky, basically. I know I’m one of the more open sexual practitioners, but anal appeals for the same reason bondage appeals. It’s exotic.
301.
Shadow Gallery | March 1, 2009 at 8:24 am
Okay.
302.
FrigidSymphony | March 1, 2009 at 8:32 am
Btw love the term “pussy thrashing”.
Dammit, I need a girl… -.-
303.
Mel | March 1, 2009 at 11:00 am
271, 272, 273- *bows*
270- What an ass. *hugs*
282- That’s what masturbation is for!
295-Anal would be AWESOME. But my boyfriend doesn’t want me to stick things in his lovely butt D=
304.
FrigidSymphony | March 2, 2009 at 5:09 am
303: Strange, as he should enjoy it more. Males are, after all, endowed with a prostate. Catch him by surprise during sex once (make sure you’re well lubed up).
305.
Fortune Cell | March 22, 2009 at 9:25 pm
Mmyes, I have my British boy, why yes I do.
Well, not going steady yet, but probably will be soon if I get over my little mental blocks.
306.
Shadow Gallery | March 23, 2009 at 11:47 am
305– !!!
Mmmmmmm delicious British boy.
307.
Potato Chip (Kelly) | March 24, 2009 at 1:30 pm
305-
yay! I feel your pain about the mental blocks though.
Dramaz, woohoo. I’m okay though.
308.
penguini | March 25, 2009 at 1:20 pm
305- congratulations!
metal blocks
307-
I am pleases to report no dramaz at this time. (Which means that tomorrow there will be epic dramaz.)
309.
Fortune Cell | March 29, 2009 at 9:22 am
My F and I are at that intermediate stage. We’re kissing and cuddling in dark rooms (egh, we got caught last night when were watching Firefly. We had gone into one classroom, and behind the fake wall, and then into another classroom, and then 3 teachers [who I'm all on great terms with, thank goodness...including my advisor] were like “what are you doing down here?” “watching firefly…” “what do you mean watching firefly” “it’s a space cowboy pirate show…-showed him disc-” “I think it’d be best if you went to a common room”. Ugh, common rooms suck. They’re loud and always have weird people in them) but we’re not, like, boyfriend/girlfriend yet.
It was cute last night though :3
-kiss-
me: “you’re going in my swimming pool of hate :3″
him: “you fucking bitch”
-kiss-
me: hatehatehate
-kiss-
we’re so angry :3
310.
ebeth | August 18, 2009 at 7:25 pm
welp
i’m single
311.
Potato Chip (Kelly) | August 18, 2009 at 7:35 pm
aww *hugs* I’m sorry…
312.
FrigidSymphony | August 19, 2009 at 8:01 am
Welcome to the club.
313.
Jadestone | August 19, 2009 at 3:51 pm
Oh, eb’s, I’m sorry. *hugs*
314.
Mel | August 19, 2009 at 5:42 pm
-gives choklit- What happened?
I do not ever know how to react to these so please pretend that I am displaying the appropriate reaction.
315.
Beavo | August 19, 2009 at 6:12 pm
*choklit and hugs and good things* Breakups suck, I’m sorry.
316.
ebeth | August 19, 2009 at 9:03 pm
thanks all *hugsback and omnomnoms* i knew it was coming and all, it was a college breakup. he’s going to a different school. and mel, i totally relate to the how-do-i-react thing, that’s me like 97.8% of the time so it’s cool
it was kind of weird seeing him today, with the being single and all (he leaves tomorrow but we were hanging out with a group and it would have been hella awkward to break up there) but idk, we’re still friends. life goes on and all
i have resolved not to do any facebook notes or update my status (ESPECIALLY not with song lyrics) when i’m feeling depressed though. hold me to it, please.
317.
ebeth | October 18, 2009 at 7:46 am
So andy found some new girl and i feel like i’m doing the bitchy, bitter ex thing, which i never wanted to be
but he sang dr horrible with her. he never sang for me and i tried countless times. and i showed him dr horrible. and she had never even heard of it until he showed her
>.<
i feel like i need a rebound. but i don't want to be dating someone just to get over someone else. but at the same time i do.
this must be what devin felt like all the time
suggestions, anyone?
318.
FrigidSymphony | October 18, 2009 at 10:50 am
Don’t date someone, just have fun. Go clubbing, go get laid, go get pissed.
319.
Potato Chip (Kelly) | October 18, 2009 at 9:46 am
317-
*hugs*
I don’t see anything wrong with looking to date someone else. It certainly will help you with thinking about Andy less. But it also really sucks to be the rebound, so idk.
sorry for the thoroughly unhelpful advice…
320.
Ebeth | October 19, 2009 at 7:58 am
wow…that may have been resolved unbelievably quckly
met this kid ben. he’s in my philosophy class. he pretty much rocks. likes eddie izzard, has been to the RHPS, plays guitar, reads cracked and graphic novels…i don’t remember what else but our conversation was basically one person mentions something the other goes “omg we are the same person” or “omg we are best friends”
anyway. i dunno what is going on with it, i mean maybe nothing. but he seems to want to hang out more
321.
Ebeth | October 22, 2009 at 11:31 am
yeah i still don’t know if this really belongs on love lives but ben and i are having a firefly marathon
322.
FrigidSymphony | October 22, 2009 at 1:56 pm
Good, now get pissed and commit sins.
323.
Mel | November 5, 2009 at 12:51 pm
Seconded. Or you could just go straight to the commit sins part. Doesn’t matter much either way.
324.
Fortune Cell | November 4, 2009 at 7:00 pm
Welp, ended up accidentally making out with my ex. Accident, I swear!
325.
Ebeth | November 4, 2009 at 7:20 pm
uhhhh huh. which one? felix?
326.
Fortune Cell | November 4, 2009 at 8:45 pm
Yeeeeep. He was sneaky about it!
327.
Fortune Cell | November 4, 2009 at 8:45 pm
But I did burn him afterward. In a friendly sort of way :3
Edit: to clarify, a verbal burn
328.
Ebeth | November 4, 2009 at 9:32 pm
haha kiiinky
329.
kricket | November 5, 2009 at 1:08 pm
How was he sneaky about it? O.o
330.
kricket | November 5, 2009 at 1:08 pm
317- awh, I’m sorry.
All 3 of my exes (ex’s?) have girlfriends. Or, okay, 2 have girlfriends and one almost has a girlfriend. Hm. I feel like I should date someone out of spite. But that’s never good. Haha. Oh wellz.
331.
FrigidSymphony | November 5, 2009 at 1:42 pm
So my closest “friend” (I guess that’s the most adequate term… I don’t really have friends. Too much of an asshole) is now dating my ex. What’s hilarious is that I’m giving him advice on how to turn her on. XD
332.
ebeth | November 27, 2009 at 2:31 pm
ebeth is confused as fuck and therefore conveniently ignoring the issue. IM if you need details but she basically doesn’t know what the hell is going on
333.
kricket | November 28, 2009 at 11:31 am
I’m always confused as fuck. Join the club. Heh. Feel better though (I’d IM, but I kinda forget what my password was so… yeahhhhh, teehee). *hugz*
334.
Potato Chip (Kelly) | December 5, 2009 at 9:18 pm
well, I’m single.
I might be no longer in shock but then if I’m still not thinking straight there’s a chance I wouldn’t be able to tell.
335.
penguini | December 6, 2009 at 3:51 pm
*hugs* *passes chocolate*
336.
Jadestone | December 6, 2009 at 6:53 pm
337.
Potato Chip (Kelly) | December 8, 2009 at 8:02 pm
Thanks guys *hugs*
Everything’s really confusing right now. He was being really distant/preoccupied and we were starting to lose the bestfriendship part of the relationship, so he broke up with me partially to work on regaining that. He told me he still wanted to cuddle occasionally and, in short, didn’t want much to change.
But he’s putting in even less effort now than the minimal effort he put in when we were dating. We had plans to study French today, but he never called/IMed. Last night he basically told me that he’d rather build K’nex than hang out.
So, I’m going to stop initiating and let HIM do the work. Not going to actively avoid him, but I’m not calling, IMing, making plans. Unless anything drastically changes over the next 3 days, I’m not communicating with him whatsoever over break unless he starts the conversation. Either everything he said was a lie (/deluding himself) or he’s going to have to change, starting as soon as he fucking realizes that since he broke up with me, I don’t have to put up with his shit.
*much stabbing, blood and gore*
338.
ebeth | December 8, 2009 at 8:34 pm
:’( that sounds like a bad situation. i’d say you’re doing the right thing though. it’s his loss *hug*
339.
Lizzie | March 6, 2010 at 7:27 pm
so I’m currently somewhat maybe interested in someone who I’m pretty sure is a furry.
What the hell is wrong with me????
340.
ebeth | March 6, 2010 at 8:06 pm
perhaps you could reform them?
my opinion of furries has been changed somewhat since i met a very nice, non-perverted one (which is, i’m assuming, the variety that you are interested in). anyway, he’s really cool, he just happens to be a furry. i don’t really agree with his furry-ness but he’s still a good person.
so there’s nothing wrong with you, the other person is just kind of strange. sometimes you fall for strange people, it happens
however, if they ask you to wear a kinky fur suit, i would advise running away
341.
Mel | June 9, 2010 at 12:25 pm
KILL IT WITH FIRE.
Mostly my issue with furries is they think that the internet, and their fandom, is serious business. Oh, and they ruin everything. ALL I WANTED WAS TO FIND A PROPERLY EPIC FIRE EMBLEM DESKTOP BACKGROUND. BUT NO, I HAD TO FIND FURFAG SHIT OF IKE AS A FUCKING WOLF.
342.
FrigidSymphony | March 7, 2010 at 7:04 am
I love furry porn. O.o
343.
ebeth | June 5, 2010 at 2:54 am
aaaaahhhh developments. sort of. maybe. i don’t know. it probably doesn’t even mean anything. but i mean, maybe. aaaahhhhhh
344.
Fiddler | June 6, 2010 at 4:28 pm
Ebeth~ But are they good ones, or part of the hopeless meh of earlier?
345.
ebeth | June 6, 2010 at 8:14 pm
i don’t knoooow. it is sort of a hopeful meh that i am seeing as hopeless meh because i don’t want to be disappointed. i am trying not to worry about it too much though, it will be a good four months before anything even applies (if anything does even apply ever which it very well might not)
346.
Fiddler | June 8, 2010 at 6:06 pm
In any case, *hugs*
347.
Mel | June 9, 2010 at 12:28 pm
I need to find something to do this weekend and next weekend that isn’t just barhopping.
Oh, Bonn, how I wish you had a few more interesting things.
Oh, other cities, how I wish it weren’t so expensive to get to you.
Dude, Fridgey, do you live in, like, northern Switzerland. We could take trains to some place in the middle and get drunk.
Seriously guize, I do other things too. Just, y’know, German beeeer.
Bier > Beer.
348.
Mel | June 9, 2010 at 12:29 pm
Fuck that was supposed to go on the “Ugh, My Life Sucks” thread. This is what happens when I have multiple tabs open. Now it just looks like I’m hitting on you. Or drunk. Or both. Godfuckingdamnit.
349.
Frigid-fucking-Symphony | January 13, 2011 at 5:14 pm
Hah, I completely missed this before my impromptu vanishing from these boards. I would have loved to drink you under the table, and no, it doesn’t look like you were hitting on me. Although to be fair the last three times girls have hit on me it’s been by leaning over and whispering “what do you want to do to me?”, “we click, wanna fuck?” and “I’m not sure if I’ve got any condoms left.”
350.
Fiddler | June 11, 2010 at 7:17 pm
Frustration, sorrow, emotional pain, lack of self-respect, anger and misery could all describe kind of what I’m feeling right now.
I don’t even know where to start. I don’t know where it started, or where it started stopping I guess.
Phil’s sitting about 10 feet away reading or doing something with his phone. I’m sitting on the couch next to Neil. No one is talking.
I haven’t really been able to talk to Phil much at all. I mean yeah, we’ve been busy, but urg. It’s like this is the first time we met, and come on. Except for those 2 months in the winter when we broke up for a bit we’ve been in a relationship for almost a year. Yes, a long distance one, but still.
I don’t want to be glomped all over each other all the time, that’s supremely annoying, but it’d be nice if we could act like we knew each other.
I’ve basically been on the verge of tears for the past two days. Writing this is making me come dangerously close to crying again.
And then earlier today we managed to get to the ed room alone for a little bit and talked for a little bit, basically like “should we break up in a month when we part ways again?” and so I moved over and laid down on the couch (I was tired, and we’d gone to seek peace and quiet and possibly a nap) with my back to him and tried not to cry. Then he started tickling my feet, which I was able to ignore, then he came over and wrapped his arms around me, at which point the waterworks couldn’t be supressed anymore.
Once I dried my eyes we ended up making out for awhile. And now I feel rather slutty for going ahead and doing that when we were just talking about whether we should break up. And he’s like “Aaah I don’t want to do too much because stuff is weird right now” and I’m basically thinking “Ugh, I don’t want to make it all weird or anything and I feel like a slut. Oh and by the way, I don’t really want to break up.”
And since then we’ve returned to basically not talking much and if we do it’s nothing to suggest that we’ve ever been together.
I was hoping that stuff would get back to normal again the way it has before after we’ve been separated for a few months. But apparently no such luck this time.
I’m seriously considering sending him a text “Hey you know what? There’s this totally sexy thing called communication, we should totally try it out. What do you say?”
But mostly I just want to curl up in a fetal ball and sob my heart out.
Sorry for unloading, but I really needed to vent. Feel free to ignore.
351.
ebeth | June 11, 2010 at 8:08 pm
oh my god *hugs*
you are not a slut. at all. he’s your bf, you are allowed makeouts.
and yes, make him talk somehow. i don’t know about by text, but if he wants to break up you need to talk through why and whether that’s the best thing to do. also it would be a dick move to leave you hanging feeling like that, and from what you said before, he doesn’t sound like a dick. let him know how you feel, he owes you a serious discussion.
oh and also *hugs* *hugs* *more hugs*
352.
Fortune Cell | June 11, 2010 at 10:03 pm
Seconding what Eboo said. You’re NOT a slut. That’s a terrible term anyway. It demonizes women for seeking physical gratification, which is fucked the fuck up. Your relationship, though, is missing some serious communication. Which, yeah, you know. But he needs to.
353.
ebeth | June 12, 2010 at 7:15 am
for reals, girls are horny too. i’ve had to explain that to -so- many little oblivious band geeks this year (the oblivious guys, they flock around and ask me things :-/ )
anyway yes. talkitytalk. and i might see you in CLEVELAAAAND so i will give you REAL LIVE HUGS. get excited.
354.
Fiddler | June 12, 2010 at 3:17 pm
350~ Yeah yeah, but it was, uh, kind of makeouts and then some. But this was after discussing breaking up. Meh. And he was like “urg I don’t want to do too much” because we’re both well aware it’s more casual for him than for me in regards to the physical aspect of our relationship. So I felt kind of bad about that.
Yeah, I know it’s not a sin to seek physical gratification, etc. etc. but it wasn’t the best timing.
We did talk some after I turned off the computer. And I got a proper kiss goodnight. And it’s been a bit easier today.
But still, CONFUSING MEH. FUCK THAT.
355.
Axa | June 12, 2010 at 6:48 pm
fiddler – god, i love you. i don’t know anything useful to say…it’s good you were able to talk some. that feeling of being so close and yet miles and miles apart is terrible. and just saying there is nothing wrong with sobbing your heart out. the only thing i can think of is when you guys do talk more about this make sure you’re both on the same page about whatever your conclusion is. clarity, essentially…though i know that must be easier said than done. maybe write down some things you want to say before you talk about them…either as a way to think and process how you feel or just as a way to remember what you’ll say or…i don’t know. i do hope you can work everything out though and i wish i could give you a real hug but…just know that i’m thinking of you i guess
as for me i am stuck in limbo or worse. i have no idea.
356.
Fiddler | June 14, 2010 at 1:50 pm
Axa~ I love you too.
We’ve been talking. We’ve been joking around around other people as well as alone. We’ve been having proper goodnight kisses every night. That’s all I really ask for at the moment. Yes, we need to keep figuring things out, we need to keep talking, we need to keep joking around, and I’d appreciate it if we never had to stop havign proper goodnight kisses. Or anytime kisses really, but I digress.
He’s going to get interrogated by his family, I’m sure. We spent the night at his grandparent’s house last night, then hung out for most of today. I started my period, so I was kind of dead, but it was nice to just do nothing.
But yeah. He dropped me off at the ship (he’s coming back later tonight or tomorrow morning) and was said something about how his grandmother was asking questions already and that his mom would probably sit him down and have A Talk.
Though he just has to deal with family questions. I get to answer why we were both gone last night to the whole crew.
Though he seems to get more shit from everyone about us being together than I do. Either that or I just completely ignore it. Or the guys are just more blunt about it and all the girls are talking behind my back, which is entirely likely as well.
Ahh, the joys of being in EVERYONE’S business ALL THE TIME and trying to maintain a romantic relationship.
357.
Axa | June 25, 2010 at 4:35 pm
OH FUCK
EXPLANATION LATER
MAYBE
SHIT
358.
Fortune Cell | June 25, 2010 at 9:20 pm
SHIT CHRIST FUCK
IT WILL BE OKAY
AXA WE ARE HERE FOR YOU
PLZ GIVE EXPLANATION
359.
Vendaval | June 26, 2010 at 1:17 pm
I SECOND THIS
360.
Axa | June 26, 2010 at 5:49 pm
HAHAHA OKAY IT WAS FINE
i was freakin out cause originally we were gonna go to the beach yesterday (“we” as in my friends and this one dude who is actually also a friend but YOU KNOW)
but then that didn’t work and i was like hmm yeah come to my house instead but then i realized oOHFSDHFSHJKGFS!?!ERF
BUT in the end it was fine and we actually ended up going to see toy story 3 CRAZY CRAZY INSANE MOVIE good for lols
there is probably more to this but i don’t know if i want to type up a big long srs post lol :/ potentially more elaboration in the coming week HMMMMM HOOOMMMM *treebeard impression*
if i ever find my way into the aim chats i will explain further as i have to vendy who always listens patiently as i capslock the night away
361.
Jadestone | June 26, 2010 at 8:04 pm
COME TO THE AIM CHATS! LET US CONVERSE!
362.
Fortune Cell | June 26, 2010 at 9:41 pm
OH EM GEE THEY ARE PRETTY MUCH THE BEST THING IN OUR LIVES. SERIOUSLY WE WOULD DIE WITHOUT THEM.
363.
Ebsys | June 27, 2010 at 5:51 am
CHATS KEEP ME AT A MODERATE AMOUNT OF SANE! PLUS REAL-TIME WISE ADVICE (julia and jade) HUGS (me and others) AND IRRELEVANT COMMENTS (roozy)
364.
Axa | June 27, 2010 at 10:49 am
WELL GODAMMIT I WANT IN ON THIS. WHEN DO YOU MANIACS HAVE THEM? SHOULD I JUST BE ONLINE CONSTANTLY? like i’m not already….orz
365.
Jadestone | June 27, 2010 at 11:15 am
WE PRETTY MUCH ARE
OR USUALLY ONE OR TWO OF US IS
CHATROOM IS CONSTANTLY OPEN AND WE SHOW UP WHENEVER, I JUST USUALLY HAVE IT OPEN IN A WINDOW NEARLY WHENEVER I’M ON
366.
Fortune Cell | June 27, 2010 at 12:43 pm
YEAH BASICALLY IT HAS BEEN RUNNING NON-STOP FOR THREE YEARS. COME IN AND SOMEONE WILL ALMOST ALWAYS BE THERE. MOSTLYHARMLESS.
367.
Fiddler, Grant, Eboo and Eboo's random friend Ben | June 28, 2010 at 11:11 am
I’m so not used to random guys hitting on me. SO NOT USED TO IT. WHAT THE FUCK.
“Oh hey, are those your books there?”
*looking up* “Huh? Oh, no. I’m just using the table.”
“Oh, cuz, uh, I was gonna say, you’re reading comics? That’s hot.”
“Oh. Um, no. They’re not mine, sorry.”
“Oh it’s cool. What college you go to?”
“I’m in highschool still. Homeschooled.”
“Whoa, you look mature, really? You from the states?”
“Yes. I live in MD. I’m taking a 5th year of HS though.”
“Ah, ok. So, uh, I didn’t really notice until I saw your face, you’re pretty.”
“Umm….thanks…..” *awkward*
“Yeah, so what’re you doing around here?”
“I’m a crewmember on the Niagara.”
“Oh, cool. How long are you around?”
“All summer.”
“Oh cool, you, uh, you party? ‘Cause if you do, I can show you a good time.”
“Thanks, but we’re leaving tonight and I’ll be sailing the great lakes. Thanks for the offer though.”
“Oh yeah, anytime. We could, you know, we could be long-distance buddies, swap numbers and chat now and then.”
*dying of awkwardness* “Uh…I have a boyfriend on the ship…” *dies more of awkwardness*
“Oh yeah, that’s cool. Well anyway, yeah it’s good talking to ya. Wish you weren’t leaving tonight.”
“Eh, yeah, it’s okay though. I like sailing.”
“Yeah, that’s cool, bet it’s fun.”
Then the usual “It was nice talking to you” and exchange of first names.
>.< FUCK I AM SUCH AN AWKWARD PERSON.
368.
Axa | June 28, 2010 at 1:21 pm
oh dude that’s not even you being awkward, who the hell actually says that bit about seeing your face and noticing you’re pretty? LAMMMMMMEE
don’t feel bad, i’m pretty sure the only outcome of awkward come ons is awkward reactions D:
369.
ebeth | June 28, 2010 at 3:03 pm
bahaha put-in-bay
FERN I WOULD TOTEZ HIT ON YOU IF I LIKED THE WIMMINZ
also “i didn’t really notice until i saw your face” wtf does that even mean?
such lulz
370.
Fiddler | June 28, 2010 at 11:18 am
Blast, that was supposed to just be under the name Fiddler. >.<
Oh, and AIM chats: JOIN US. I'm not on much now, obviously, but I am when I'm at home. WE NEED YOU AXA, COME JOIN US.
371.
Axa | July 5, 2010 at 9:59 pm
FIRST
I SWEAR i will explain at some point but literally right now MORAL SUPPORT PLEASE I’M LOSIN MY SHIT JESUS CHRIST
FDSHJKGJKGS
HSFNDGYJS
JSSJSTRSJSR
ON A RELATED NOTE
do i just invite myself to the chatroom? or what? DSHJGSDHJKDSG
372.
Fortune Cell | July 5, 2010 at 11:27 pm
AXA JESUS CHRIST I’VE BEEN AROUND ALL NIGHT ARE YOU OKAY??? IM ME TOMORROW MORNING OR SOMETHING I WILL BE AROUND ALL DAY IT WILL BE OKAY WE LOVE YOU
YOU ARE STRONG
IT IS OKAY.
373.
Axa | July 5, 2010 at 11:39 pm
AHHH I LOVE YOU ;A; yeah it’s not a bad need for moral support but um things MIGHT BE GOING MY WAY AND IT’S KINDA FREAKY
LIKE
AFAHHHHHHDFJKS
hahahsdahHhdafahAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA YEAH IT’S ALL GOOD DUDES
aim for fuckin serious this time, if the goddam hotel doesn’t have wifi HEADS WILL ROLL
374.
Ebeth | July 6, 2010 at 3:21 am
AXA WE LOOOVE YOU
things going your way is GOOD! you deserve awesome things! do not fear!
375.
Jadestone | July 6, 2010 at 8:40 am
YOU ARE THE MOST AWESOME EVER MY SISTER, JUST REMEMBER IF ANYTHING OR ANYONE GOES AGAINST YOU I WILL COME AND RIP THEIR HEARTS OUT WITH MY SQUID-POWERS. WE LOVE YOU.
COME TO THE CHATS! IF YOU’RE USING iCHAT JUST GO TO FILE THEN “GO TO CHAT ROOM”
376.
Kokonilly | August 14, 2010 at 8:02 pm
I have no love life whatsoever but people are like “Ooh you should go out with [insert name here] because you guys would totally be cute together!”.
I don’t even know. I am not remotely interested in romance. I probably would not even survive a romantic relationship anyway. If anyone asked me out on a date, and I liked them enough, I might say yes to get the experience of romance before college. Honestly, it’s not that big a deal. I don’t see why so many people seem to think that romance is crucial to happiness! I am perfectly happy without a significant other.
But actually, the weird thing is that I do not seem to be interested in anyone. When people say “oh that’s a cute guy” or “oh that’s a pretty girl” I can see it, but unless it’s distinctly pointed out to me I honestly won’t see anything.
377.
Fortune Cell | August 15, 2010 at 1:04 pm
DON’T WORRY PUBERTY WILL COME EVENTUALLY.
378.
Kokonilly | August 15, 2010 at 4:36 pm
Heh. I’ll bet. I am dreading the day.
379.
kellelore | August 16, 2010 at 9:26 am
Listen to Julia, it WILL happen eventually (and it’s not so bad!) You’re young for your grade, and therefore surrounded by people who are more sexually mature than you, so I wouldn’t worry about not experiencing certain feelings yet.
380.
Kokonilly | August 19, 2010 at 9:46 pm
I am definitely not complaining. I just think it’s mildly interesting.
381.
Fiddler | November 9, 2010 at 6:45 pm
Okay whoa, HOLY SHIT. Three people I know/used to know are engaged. One is a acquaintance/friend, the others are previous friends that don’t talk to me anymore (and I like it that way).
It’s still extremely weird to hear about people you used to know that are your age that are getting married. Seriously, wtf?! 0.o
382.
Vendaval | November 9, 2010 at 8:10 pm
That age being <20?
383.
penguini | November 10, 2010 at 3:38 pm
it’s really weird. I’ve got two friends planning to marry about a year from now.
I’m having trouble comprehending it, but okay.
384.
Fiddler | November 10, 2010 at 9:28 am
381~ Yes. That age being 18 and 19. I have a feeling some of the beaus are a few years older though.
I mean, I know it’s not a ridiculously early age to be married, my paternal grandmother got married when she was 19 or so, I think, and that was just 2 generations ago. And I know in other countries girls often get married way way earlier, etc. etc. But it’s still disconcerting to think of one’s peers being engaged.
Even more alarming when these individuals aren’t really the most thoughtful and mature people one has encountered, but rather the opposite.
385.
Lizzie | November 10, 2010 at 5:10 pm
Yeah, one of my close friends from high school got married at the age of 19. I think I know of a few couples at school who are engaged – this one guy is married with an infant son and he’s 21.
386.
Jadestone | November 10, 2010 at 10:54 pm
A sophemore in my photography class is getting married on saturday! For legal reasons (tax maybe?) versus relationship stuff, so it’s not the same, but still O.o
387.
Vendaval | November 11, 2010 at 8:50 am
Soph-o-more.
But yeah, 0.o
388.
Fiddler | November 11, 2010 at 7:12 pm
I mean, I know there are plenty of young couples who work out just fine and all, but at least the one couple that I’m in contact with…..they act like 13 year olds. I dunno, I know, “Judge not that ye be not judged” and all, but it’s still a bit frightening. 0.o
389.
axa | November 20, 2010 at 2:26 pm
UUUUUUUUUGHHHHHH FUCKKKKKKKKK
AS USUAL I’M JUST HERE TO CAPSLOCK
390.
Fiddler | November 22, 2010 at 1:20 pm
Axa~ *hughughughughughughughug* If there’s anything I can do, let me know, but for now GENERAL MORAL SUPPORT IS ON ITS WAY TO YOU.
391.
Jadestone | November 22, 2010 at 5:47 pm
388- HUUUUUUGS.
And WHAT FIDDLER SAID.
My situation right now is still mehhhh. Wharglbargl. Nothing is nothing is uhg.
392.
Fiddler | November 23, 2010 at 6:06 am
Jade~ *hughughughug* Mehhhhh deserves hugs and consolation too.
393.
axa | November 26, 2010 at 11:07 am
thanks guys!
ugh it’s just a really frustrating situation that may or may not be resolved by saturday, idk, i can explain elsewhere lol it will take so long -___-
jade- D:!!! HUGS, HUGS FOREVER!!! ilu ;___;
394.
Fiddler | November 28, 2010 at 1:53 pm
392~ It’s only if you want to explain the situation. At any rate, I hope all was resolved yesterday. *hughughughughughughughug*
I almost feel guilty posting happy things here……like I’m rubbing it in or something. But I’ve been with Pip and family the past few days, and last night the following conversation took place:
L (his grandmother): Okay guys, Fern, the newest member of our family has something to say…”
E (his dad): PHILLIP! IS THERE SOMETHING YOU FORGOT TO TELL ME ABOUT?!
Pip: Grandma! I told you that in confidence!
me: *dying*
everyone else: *uproar*
No, we’re not engaged, it was because his grandma wanted me to perform my Aim Speech, first delivered on the Niagara when I was frustrated by the guys using the bathroom and peeing on the floor.
It was pretty funny though. Also nice to know his family isn’t horrifically weirded out by me.
395.
axa | November 28, 2010 at 6:39 pm
nope, everything’s fucked
oh well
fern that is adorable. i love hilarious grandmas.
396.
Fiddler | November 28, 2010 at 6:57 pm
D: *infinite hugs*
His grandma is awesome. She’s so much fun, I absolutely adore her. She’s a strong women’s rights activist, manners stickler (in a good way), gentlemanly behaviour enforcer, glamorous lady and overall awesome person. Lulz I told him I’m dating him for the potential in-laws. xD
But yeah, now I’m kind of freaking out because I’m all worried that I look like a tramp because we were sleeping on the pull-out couch together and all. Yeah, his brother was in the room too (two bedroom condo, his parents, grandparents, brother and us, so the kids got to share the living room), but still I’m like gah I hope that wasn’t a total mistake. Even though we weren’t doing anything inappropriate. >.<
I will just continue to nom on organic gummy bears and fret about how to casually mention this to my parents in such a way that doesn't lead to further questioning. *whimper*
397.
axa | December 16, 2010 at 10:12 am
my life has devolved to listening to 80s japanese glam metal and crying
hi, zuko here
398.
Jadestone | December 16, 2010 at 11:10 am
x_x
yep. I just basically gave up. So me and my best friend form oberlin are just going to call ourselves married on facebook and not deal with it anymore.
399.
Axa | January 9, 2011 at 8:02 am
fuck everyone and everything. kicked in the fucking gut every time i feel even a little bit better.
400.
Fiddler | January 9, 2011 at 10:21 am
*hugs x ∞*
If there’s anything I can do, let me know.
401.
Jadestone | January 9, 2011 at 10:31 am
*hugsforever* We love you ♥
Axa we should run away and get married together.
402.
POSOC | January 10, 2011 at 3:07 pm
Consider me repeating what I said on MB, with some extra *hugs* thrown in.
403.
Ebeth | January 17, 2011 at 8:36 am
life is fucking complicated. IM for details.
in a nutshell jake sort of stood me up and i’m really pissed about it. i’m waiting to hear what he has to say but i’m kind of considering breaking up (and maybe that’s overreacting but shit, i don’t date guys often, so i expect the ones i do to not be dickheads)
ben, on the other hand, stayed up with me half the night watching memento and tim minchin.
in somewhat related news, the grand total of people outside my family that i’ve cried in front of (not counting when i was teeny) has been brought up to three.
404.
FrigidSymphony | January 17, 2011 at 8:51 am
I think Ben deserves a shag. For full impact, I will express this in Aberdonian dialect.
Dinnae be fuckin aboot wi’ cunts wha toss ye, gie a wee yaldi tae the fella wha kens Tim Minchin.
405.
Ebeth | January 17, 2011 at 9:31 am
it’s under serious consideration. we’ve almost dated countless times, just have never gotten the timing right (seems like every time he likes me, i’m over him and every time i like him, he’s over me)
plus most of our friends think we should get together and they have a code word for our drunkflirting
…shit, how did i end up not with him again?
406.
FrigidSymphony | January 17, 2011 at 9:36 am
Shag him and see what happens. If it’s awkward, work with it. If it’s comfortable and natural, well, there you go. If it’s horrible and everything goes wrong, johnnies breaking, leg cramps, performance anxiety, etc, and you never want to see him again, well, problem removed, if not solved.
407.
Ebeth | January 17, 2011 at 10:18 am
not gonna do that until i’ve figured out what’s going on with jake first :-/ anyway it’s not like i’m starved at the moment.
we’d actually discussed being fuck-buddies before but then i stumbled in on an exclusive relationship. oops. and i haven’t really decided to break up with jake, i just want to have srstalk
i dunno, i’ve had a shower and feel better and have decided speculation is useless at this point. i’m gonna wait until jake gets up and see what he has to say.
408.
Jadestone | January 17, 2011 at 10:36 am
I responded to this earlier and like didn’t hit submit or something.
But yeah, talking with Jake would be a good idea, although I don’t know the details of what happened. But if the talk doesn’t go well, don’t stay in a relationship you don’t want to be in and etc, though I know you know all that jazz already.
409.
FrigidSymphony | January 17, 2011 at 11:42 am
^^
410.
Jadestone | January 17, 2011 at 9:24 am
TIM MINCHIN FOREVER
also I should not be able to understand that last section on so little sleep but it makes perfect sense. But this may be one of those things like where I can only read cursive after 2 in the morning. OH LIFE.
And yeah there is still nothing going on in my life which is great because no distractions from work and all and it’d just be a bother uhg uhg uhg
411.
Jadestone | January 17, 2011 at 10:32 am
this post was supposed to go somewhere else I am not sure why it is here, I also don’t understand how I am still awake
412.
FrigidSymphony | January 17, 2011 at 9:31 am
Sex is a stress reliever, or should be at least. Fuck relationships, go get a shag-buddy. I’ve got two at the moment. One good thing about the exams, everyone’s stressed, hence everyone’s in greater need of getting laid.
413.
Ebeth | January 17, 2011 at 10:31 am
murrr just talked to him, looks like i’m giving the kid another chance. me and my goddamn forgiveness. we’re off to get food
414.
Jadestone | January 17, 2011 at 10:37 am
fff and then I didn’t see this. MY POSTS ARE A MESS DON’T LOOK AT ME oh god how am I still awake
415.
Ebeth | January 24, 2011 at 8:38 am
so
talked to jake again
we both agreed that us being together wasn’t really working
so now i am single!
also we’re still friends and everything. it was a really nice breakup, i love it when both people in a relationship can recognize that it’s ended (also i’m 2 for 2 on friendly breakups)
studiously avoiding the ben question for a few days. i won’t see him that much anyway, there’s the dinner tonight but that’s a ton of people and i have fencing right after, and tomorrow is sci-fi but it’s also in a large group of people and he has early classes so we probably won’t hang out. wednesday is his birthday but unfortunately i have work at 10pm so i’ll be there for the big group dinner but not after. thursday i have to be at the basketball game instead of b2d which is sad and he has early classes friday. and i think he might be going home for the weekend. soooo yeah :-/
probably best to wait a week or two anyway
416.
Jadestone | January 24, 2011 at 10:46 am
I think judging by your earlier posts here that this was probably the best thing to happen. Yay for friendly break-ups! Sometimes people just work better as friends.
And waiting is probably advisable but don’t like, put off seeing him and stuff if you want to.
417.
Ebeth | January 25, 2011 at 6:36 am
ben’s a cunt
the end
418.
Fiddler | January 25, 2011 at 8:37 am
Eboo~ What I said on MB. Also I WILL LOVE YOU FOREVER NO MATTER WHAT MOOD YOU’RE IN.
419.
Jadestone | January 27, 2011 at 12:01 am
WHAT JUST HAPPENED I DON’T EVEN
OH GOD.
IM me for details or whatever because wat.
420.
Ebeth | January 27, 2011 at 12:26 am
IT’S BECAUSE YOU’RE A HOTTIE
LOVE YOU JADEY
421.
POSOC | January 27, 2011 at 3:01 pm
I take it from context that Jade’s Lack Thereof became a Love Life. *cheers*
422.
Jadestone | January 27, 2011 at 4:20 pm
oh god. maybe. not sure.
ffffdkjsah;ghkahkg
423.
POSOC | January 27, 2011 at 11:47 pm
I think I know how you feel.
424.
Beavo | January 29, 2011 at 1:11 am
Glad things went *mostly* well for Ebeth.
D
So I’m at that pathetic point where I’m opening all my IM/video chat programs to see if someone who’s in a ~complicated~ relationship will talk to me first.
And everyone around me is getting laid.
That or their lives are going great.
And now I get the whole “omg why don’t I have a boyfriend I am so lonely” feeling that I always made fun of people for. But that was in middle school, so dkadjalk but anyway.
I’ll get over it, hopefully. Or get a boyfriend. Or whatever.
425.
Jadestone | January 30, 2011 at 6:58 pm
so uh
yay?
Had first date. Went well. Nothing happened (which was good.)
Probably going to see him at a mutual friend’s going away party tomorrow. So, yeah.
426.
Mel | January 31, 2011 at 8:50 am
GRAB HIM BY THE TIE AND JUMP ON HIS DICK.
427.
Captain Fantastic | January 31, 2011 at 8:56 am
What Mel said.
428.
Jadestone | January 31, 2011 at 10:30 am
YOU PEOPLE
429.
Captain Fantastic | January 31, 2011 at 10:48 am
Actually, have some booze, take him to bathroom and blow him. Just don’t throw up.
430.
Ebeth | January 31, 2011 at 9:27 pm
YES THIS
431.
Ebeth | January 31, 2011 at 9:28 pm
(re mel’s i mean. i’ve never tried giving a blowjob while drunk, for some reason it doesn’t sound pleasant)
432.
Fiddler | January 31, 2011 at 11:22 am
I dunno that I’d recommend a bathroom as the ideal spot to give head for the first time. Just sayin’. I mean, I guess it’d convenient for if you spit or want to get some water afterward, but still. Meh.
433.
Captain Fantastic | January 31, 2011 at 11:27 am
It’s private, at the very least, and there’s that heroin chic element to it. Sets the tone for an exciting sexual future.
434.
Fiddler | January 31, 2011 at 8:12 pm
I guess. So what would a port-a-potty say?
435.
Jadestone | January 31, 2011 at 3:10 pm
Uhhh yeah, no. Ignoring my issues with touching/getting close to people, that’s really not my thing : P Also, neither of us drink.
436.
Fiddler | February 9, 2011 at 1:31 pm
“So where are you going to stay when you visit him?”
“In his friend Chloe’s room.”
“As long as that’s what actually happens. I don’t want you staying in a boy’s room, I would have a huge problem with that.”
I was then told about how I don’t realize my choices affect my future and she doesn’t want me to ruin my reputation or make bad choices or even choices that LOOK bad even if they’re completely innocent, etc. etc.
Because going to visit my boyfriend of nearly 2 years looks absolutely terrible and because of this I will never get into college, find a job, make respectable friends, have successful relationships, or ever be respected by anyone ever again. I will end up whoring and living on welfare for the rest of my days on welfare. All because I’m a headstrong bitch and insist on visiting this terrible agnostic thing whom I happen to love. And while we’re at it, he dominates me and forces me to completely change my personality when we’re together, it’s an unhealthy relationship and she’s concerned for me.
Is it just me, or does this seem a wee bit much?
I find it interesting that I’m viewed as either good and chaste and in danger of being corrupted by terrible boys or as a nymphomaniac who can’t be trusted.
437.
Fiddler | February 9, 2011 at 1:35 pm
That was “I will end up whoring and living in a trailer park for the rest of my days on welfare.”
I can’t write. >.<
438.
Axa | February 9, 2011 at 5:06 pm
oh lord, mothers. that reminds me of the mean girls thing, “never have sex because you will get pregnant and DIE”
but in all seriousness, that is way too much :/ also that’s the virgin/whore dichotomy at work (a helpful infographic: http://img825.imageshack.us/img825/7550/tswift.jpg )
i can understand in a way because at times my parents have seemed weirdly resentful of me “growing up” and wanting to go do things. dunno….it’s not too helpful to say “don’t let her get to you” but that’s all i can think of to say. hearing stuff like that from one’s mother is always kind of annoying though. of course, my mom’s method of warning was that “there are a lot of bristol pailins out there, you know….” so maybe not the same xD
In any case i’m sorry she is constantly on your case despite the fact that 1) you are definitely amazingly responsible 2) HELLO NOT ALL BOYS ARE DEPRAVE MANIACS and 3) two years have already passed. YEESH.
439.
Fortune Cell | February 10, 2011 at 9:32 am
God I am so glad my mother isn’t like that. However, having to leave conversations that begin with “so, do you understand female masturbation?” and “so, now that you’re about to begin your sexual journey…” wasn’t fun, either. Boyfriend and I spent a couple weeks around Christmas at my mom’s place, and before he came down she told me she had rules. “Rule 1. I don’t want to find any…used condoms…anywhere around the house…I just don’t want to see them.” “…we don’t use condoms…” “oh” “yeah…”. I mean, my birth control is virtually 100% effective, and we’re both clean, so there’s no reason to. But still. The other rules included “no running around the house without any clothes” (why did she think I would suddenly pick up this habit??) and “I don’t want to HEAR anything”. I’m pretty private with my mother in general; I’ve always known much more about her dating life than she’s known about mine. But when the dude’s staying with us for two weeks, it’s a bit hard to keep those worlds apart. She’s visiting in May. But staying at a hotel!
Edit: “Rule 2, I don’t want to HEAR anything”
“I’ve heard YOU having sex”
“oh my god, I’m so sorry!”
“With [Ex-boyfriend]”
“And he was such a PERVERT”
…
Couple of years ago…
“So, what do you think of porn with whips and chains and stuff in it?”
440.
Mel | February 12, 2011 at 6:20 am
I love your mother. The most.
441.
Fiddler | February 10, 2011 at 12:09 pm
Axa, you are a lifesaver/angel/best evah and I love you. Just wanted to put that out there.
Haha Julia, that is awesome, though I can imagine somewhat awkward. But talking about that kind of stuff with parents us universally awkward, is it not? I think at least being cool about it and not expecting to get completely killed each time it comes up would be a bit more comfortable though.
442.
Fortune Cell | February 10, 2011 at 8:11 pm
Yeah, I’m glad I don’t have to worry about my mom preaching to me about hellfire if I so much as look at a boy, and instead is happy that I have a good sex life (not that she knows any details!). But I feel the second could be accomplished without her snickering about how she’s going to get me edible underwear. For Christmas. To “spice things up”. But it’s okay, she didn’t. Because it would be embarrassing for her.
443.
Fiddler | February 12, 2011 at 8:14 am
I’m with Mel on this one, I love your mom.
444.
ebeth | February 16, 2011 at 7:09 pm
so i accidentally a boyfriend
part 2
445.
Mel | February 17, 2011 at 12:33 am
All the details.
I will probably be online 8pm my time zone.
446.
Jadestone | February 17, 2011 at 10:05 pm
^this!
447.
Lizzie | February 17, 2011 at 8:01 pm
So I’ve been asked if me and this one girl are dating by members of like four or five different social groups, so it seems like everyone thinks we are. Not sure what to think about this.
448.
Jadestone | February 17, 2011 at 10:04 pm
Haha, that happens a lot with me and my best friend here. Actually I’m sleeping in her room tonight in her second bed, and we spend all our time together and hold hands a lot, so it’s our own fault XD We always complain about how we’re both straight because we’d be perfect for each other otherwise.
She’s dating otherfrined and I’m still in a what-is-this-I-don’t-even. Which you have probably heard more about if you are on chat ever so I won’t retell but yeah.
449.
Mel | February 18, 2011 at 8:40 am
Lizzie- Is it your friend who looks like Desire? If so GET ON THAT.
Jade- Just become a lesbian, I have it on good authority that homosexuality is a choice for Americans xP
I get that as well with my BFF at school. I guess calling one another retarded pet names doesn’t help. We have people yelling “just go out already” at us. But it’s not like that. Also we live in the same house, so that’d be a bit weird.
450.
Captain Fantastic | February 18, 2011 at 1:40 pm
Luckily my best friend has a very sexy girlfriend and I’m a renowned philanderer, so there’s no insinuations there. The farthest we get is joking about having a bromance.
451.
Fiddler | February 19, 2011 at 4:11 pm
I’m pretty sure my best friend/sister-from-different-parents have been mistaken for lesbians before.
In other news, as I stated on the random thread I’m in NC doing nothing but lazing around and eating and it’s awesome.
EBETH, DETAILS. HOW ARE YOU CHEATING ON ME THIS TIME?
452.
Mel | February 28, 2011 at 3:57 pm
So the best friend thing. Is now officially a problem. We talk, like, lots. Like practically the whole time I’m online, when I’m online. And there are Epic Dramus Zomg at my house which keep involving me even though I clearly state that I don’t give a fuck and don’t want to be involved because I have better things to do.
STORY TIME! It’s background, so it’s in italics, feel free to skip, I’ll stick a teal deer at the end. Also Eboo you have met half these people IRL I will trust that you do not mention this <3
I live with four good friends, known them since frosh year when we were all dumb and obnoxious, mostly grew out of that shit together. Y’know, the usual. Also names changed, etc.
Well, BFF and Harmony were fuck buddies for most of our first semestre. No big deal, right. Except it’s her first time and she decides she’s Zomg In Love Forever, and doesn’t get over it when he calls things off. Short while later, she tries to off herself by OD’ing, goes to hospital, takes a semestre off, but lives just off-campus so she can continue her social life (she’s fucking loaded, so, yeah). According to her this had nothing to do with him. Anyway, ever since, she’s been trying to fill the void in her heart/legs, which leads to unsuccessful, predictably unhealthy results.
I’m the most delightfully oblivious person, so I didn’t actually know all of what was going on until it blew the fuck out of proportion last semestre. Mostly I was the supportive-yet-objective friend who was really awkward at hugs. Until I lived with both of them, I figured it was just a dumb mutual misunderstanding which would just go the fuck away. Except for that one time when her short-lived-boyfriend-of-the-time got in a fight with her because he thought she was cheating on him with me? (It’s common knowledge that we both go for girls as well, but still, at the time I was in a relationship too so like what gives…? Or at least so I thought until I was later informed that she’d been trying to get into my pants the whole time WHY DON’T PEOPLE JUST COME OUT AND SAY THIS anyway)
I can never figure out what to do with parentheses and punctuation, it sucks.Right, back to the blowing up. BFF breaks up with his long-distance girlfriend, Harmony throws herself at him, he wants nothing to do with it. He brings a new friend from a club over and she decides the poor girl’s his rebound. Harmony freaks out on BFF, goes to drown her sorrows in alcohol (epic lightweight, with creepy guy, overall bad idea). Shit goes down and she blames him for EVERYTHING.
Then I and another roomie, Andrew, try to be mediating neutral third parties. And by “neutral” I mean “we were totally on BFF’s side because he is sane, but you can’t go around making it look like you’re ganging up, so go Diplomacy Checks.” Turns into Harmony boiling it down to “you keep telling me I have these life problems, and I know I have them, but you won’t tell me how to fix them.” At which point I’m like “dude you are an adult, you are so not my responsibility,” and leave everyone else to their moody sitting about. And she won’t get off BFF.
Until a day or two later when Harmony’s at it again and BFF finally yells at her. And her depressionmode kicks in. And I’m nearly breaking the Hug Barrier with him in my room for hours into the morning trying to convince him that it’s not his fault. Because it seriously isn’t and he was handling it amazingly.
In the end, shit got awkward, and I was in the middle of dramus I didn’t create. So it sucks being a good friend, I guess.
TL;DR: Have chill BFF, have crazy other housemate who wants to bang both of us.
Really, Andrew told me two days ago that Harmony was drunk and going on about how she wished I’d just fuck her already.
So for a while he and I were joking about hooking up loudly in his room (next to hers) for the great lulz. And calling each other pet names around the house. Many lawls were had! So I thought this was all joking and shit. Because I am incredibly incredibly thick. But we, like, bro-fist. So how was I supposed to know?
Like, our house had a weird dynamic. Engineering school, yeah? And there’s a long-running joke that resulted in me getting male pronouns and lots of me going “well fuck you my dick’s bigger,” or winning at manliness. And lots of him going “I want your dick in me.” Shut up, I know I’m REALLY SLOW. I thought it was all going along with the joke.
JULIA WHY DID YOU NOT TELL ME SOONER YOU KNOW HOW SHIT I AM WITH THESE THINGS.
Because now it’s all sad IMs and he keeps bringing up this STUFF. Like, when I was having a fling with a mutual friend, who didn’t want to put out, he was like “you know you could just fuck me on the side, right?” And would make all these comments like “sometimes I think you are the perfect woman,” and “dude why can’t all girls react the way you do.” And I was like “LOLOLOLOL I’m a dude, remember? U SO GAY.” Herp derp. Apparently not jokes. I mean, he’s seen me coming out of the shower because I’m always running late and I look like crap because the cold water tap does not exist in my mind, and there is my hair being a retard. Surely it is jokes.
Fling friend informs me that it is not jokes. And suddenly the sad IMs and not-jokes make sense and I feel like a friendzoning bitch. Or a double-friendzoning-bitch if you count Harmony D=
I AM ON ANOTHER CONTINENT WHY IS THIS HAPPENING?
And more importantly if I ignore it will it go away? Please tell me it will just go away. Because I’ve probably accidentally encouraged it enough and it is Not Like That. It’d end quickly and terribly. Because after getting out of a Shit Relationship I became One With Abject Apathy and basically engaged in short Things because I couldn’t come up with a reason not to. Or like he says I was secretly hoping someone would not give me songs but give me something to sing about. But I’m still waiting on that one, I guess; the Magic Happy Brain Chemicals can only do so much for so long. Even with “hook up with a boy with a sillier name” contests. Stupid roomie went to Italy and beat my last record, of like, two days. Grumble.
And I don’t have relationshippy-feelings for him. And if I did I couldn’t date him anyway because I actually (platonically) like him a huge fucking deal. Also he is actually smart and I think I have formed an overall habit of getting with people significantly dumber than I am (gotta love engineers, poor slobs can’t wrap their heads around theory xD). And it’d mostly be me being guilted into things and that sort of shit don’t fly. So like, looks like a good thing just got fucked up.
And now that I’ve broken my habit of not discussing my personal life (okay, this is barely discussing it, but it goes beyond vague mentionings and hints that are only obvious if I told you the proper story somewhere else, so I feel all weird now) outside private chats I’m going to tell him I’m going to bed, email the Registrar again, and then go to bed. Bah. Except I will eat/drink first because you know what? Fuck this shit, I have great hair.
453.
Captain Fantastic | March 1, 2011 at 5:14 am
tl;dr
summary plz!
454.
Ebeth | March 1, 2011 at 6:50 am
okay so livsy
1. i did warn you, dammit
2. DO NOT BE GUILTED. if he’s a friend, fucking friendzone him. it sucks but it’s better than guiltdating. REMEMBER WHAT YOU TOLD ME
3. reject him and then send him over here, we’ll get drunk again and he’ll feel better about life and i’ll have a (for once) guilt-free one-night thing
4. you have fucking fantastic hair which is why i was totally not joking about us having sex (but my dick is definitely bigger)
455.
Ebeth | March 1, 2011 at 6:52 am
also the thought of your big dick probably didn’t help, because he is definitely a woman
456.
Ebeth | March 1, 2011 at 12:20 pm
oh also when i said send him down here i was only half-joking…he actually does want to come for HvZ, could he borrow your car? or you could come too, it’d be a week of awesome nerfery!
457.
Mel | March 1, 2011 at 1:51 pm
Wait, you were serious?
458.
Mel | March 1, 2011 at 2:18 pm
TL;DR: Best friend whom everyone already thinks I’m zomginlovewith has been serious the entire time about wanting to date/fuck. I am a friendzoning bitch, apparently, but I don’t have relationshippy feelings for him, and having sex with someone who lives with you and has feelings for you can only end badly?
459.
Captain Fantastic | March 2, 2011 at 2:02 am
Ah-hah. Aye, shagging’s nae a good idea.
460.
POSOC | February 28, 2011 at 9:40 pm
This is not very helpful, but the Once More With Feeling reference makes me love you forever.
461.
Mel | February 28, 2011 at 11:57 pm
I filled it with Buffy references so I felt less weird.
462.
Captain Fantastic | March 1, 2011 at 5:16 am
So apparently having two hickies on either side of my neck isn’t exactly a plus when trying to chat up a girl. Goddammit, she was classy as well.
463.
Mel | March 1, 2011 at 2:16 pm
That’s what the gay ascot is for.
464.
Captain Fantastic | March 2, 2011 at 2:06 am
Feck off, it’s a class act. I shall wear it to the Cocktail Society meetings as I sip my Manhattan Transfers with an air of utter condescension.
465.
Fiddler | March 2, 2011 at 10:15 am
Favorite definition of hickey: “a way to show the world your girlfriend is sucking your neck instead of your dick.”
Mel, I don’t even know, but basically what Eboo said. Don’t go out with/shag him if you don’t want to. Everyone is in love with you, I thought you understood and were okay with this? Sorry I’m phenomenally unhelpful. :/
So the other day it somehow came out that yeah, Pip and I have discussed marriage/being together for the foreseeable future and mom freaked out. Apparently because he’s my first boyfriend then we’re automatically not going to end up together because that’s just the way it works. “You’ve talked about MARRIAGE? But he’s only your first boyfriend!”
I find all this hugely amusing, as the stories she tells of her past imply (if not blatantly state) that she was always just friends with these guys who for some reason kept asking her to marry them and she wasn’t interested in any way. So by that reasoning, then my dad would have been her first real boyfriend, no?
Yeah so that’s kind of annoying.
I mean, I realize that a lot of first relationships don’t end up being The One, but I think it’s stupid to say that just because it’s the first it’s automatically not going to work out. Especially if the person(s) for whom it’s the first relationship for started dating later in life.
What do you guys think?
*sigh*
466.
Fortune Cell | March 2, 2011 at 10:30 am
K-Man’s not my first boyfriend, but he’s the only one I’ve gotten really serious about at all. I’ve gone on a fair amount of dates and gone fbook official with two guys before him (lulz), but he’s the first guy I’ve been really serious about. We’ve been dating 6 months (as of 2 days ago!), but we were very, very close for easily 6 months prior to that. We’re moving things pretty quickly, yeah, but I’m very, very picky about the people I get close to me, and I’ve never met anyone like him. How much have you guys talked about the major issues? I know you guys lean differently, religious-wise, so if you were going to have kids, how would they be brought up? Shit like that. Are you guys sexually compatible? Not just do you have similar sex drives, because those fluctuate throughout a life, but do you have the same base beliefs about sex? The dude and I don’t have exactly the same kinks and whatever, but we both take being GGG (good, giving, and game) very seriously. I think a lot of people downplay sexual compatibility as being important, because their love should transcend that or whatever. But that’s pretty much bullshit and leads to hurt feelings, sexual frustration, and broken marriages. Have you guys spoken about living together and how that would work? Can you guys, in general, communicate well? I think approaching a relationship looking for “The One” is a bit naive, but I don’t know how serious you were being there. I don’t think you should settle on someone just because they’re your first serious partner/sexual partner/whatever, but I don’t think you should assume that a relationship will inevitably end for the same reason.
467.
Fiddler | March 2, 2011 at 10:53 am
Let me mention that the The One comment is referring to finding a person who I would want to live with/marry/basically be with seriously for as long as possible. Not that there is only one person in the universe that could ever be that person to me. Bad choice of words.
As for talking about serious stuff, yes. He’s athiest/agnostic, I’m not. We’ve talked about it. A lot. I respect his beliefs, he respects mine, we pretty much agree down to the point that some sort of higher being exists, which is where he starts going “I don’t think there is, but it’s a possibility so I’m not ruling it out entirely” and I’m going “no I think there actually is something happening in the god department.”
We’ve also decided that being in a relationship is worth it, even though we don’t get to spend much time together. We’ve worked out arranging monthly week-long visits and talk for a few hours on the phone at least every other day about stuff that’s happening to each of us separately as well as general “this is what’s going on in the world” things. Being apart sucks, but it’s been worth it for nearly two years which I think says either that there’s something there or that neither of us can deal with having a real significant other and therefore choose a partner where we’ll have minimal face to face contact. I’m leaning toward the former.
As for kids, he’s made it very clear that he doesn’t want children, and I’m totally fine with that. My visions of future happiness doesn’t have to include kids, and it never did. As far as I’m concerned my life goal is to do interesting things and never get tired of living, which can be achieved with or without being a parent.*
We also have somewhat different ideas of what we want to do out of college and down the road 5, 10, 20, 50 years from now, but we’ve talked a fair amount how to make it work out and are fully aware of the fact that it’s going to be difficult.
I’m going to ignore your comments on sex while posting stuff for everyone to see on teh intarwebz.
*I find it interesting and amusing that my mom has expressed her desire for grandchildren, but I’m pretty sure the thought of me having sex (in any context) would probably weird her out to no end. Maybe she’s thinking I’ll adopt? If I were to have kids I probably would, but that’s not the point.
468.
Fiddler | March 2, 2011 at 10:59 am
Addendum:
We talk a lot, and I think we’re pretty good at communicating. Generally I go to him first if there’s anything going on and he does the same to me. Living together: yes, we’ve discussed it, it goes in with the whole “so how could we make a future that includes and us?”
469.
Mel | March 2, 2011 at 4:51 pm
Okay don’t hate me for inventing cynicism, ‘kay? I promise it’s just objectivity and not motherliness. Also I am trying to not project, so I hope it doesn’t come off that way. Alsoalso I wish I were more eloquent or less alcohol-headache-sleepy.
I’m not saying it can’t work, but. You’re super young. And it’s awesome that you know what you want from life. Because you’ve totally got to have that shit figured out for yourself before you can even entertain the idea of factoring someone else into it. After all, building your life around being with a certain person would just be depressing and self-destructive.
Not to pry, but I’m totally going to pry here. Have you had it close-distance for a significant period of time (I am talking like at least three months)? Because sometimes shit seems better when the other person’s far away and you’re totally craving him/her by the time you get together. And it sort-of blinds you to any problems that may arise. And even though you talk the entire time you’re away from each other, things are always left out and forgotten, and there aren’t voices and scents and mannerisms, y’know? It makes things weird. And when you’re far away, you get to still imagine this person as this perfect awesome being you want him/her to be. And then s/he isn’t around long enough for reality to set in. And the honeymoon phase goes on and on and on.
Yes, you’re ignoring the sex questions, but seriously, y’all have had sex, yes? Because it’d just be weird if you got all life-committed to someone you hadn’t fucked. Just saying, it might ruin everything afterwards. Not that it’s easy to suck at sex. Enthusiasm can compensate for a great deal of skill. But Julia’s right, you know. I mean, as long as no one’s a furry, just go try anything once.
Then again, this is coming from the person who now runs for the hills when she gets the whole “hm, maybe I should introduce you to my parents, I have no idea how they’d react, you’re a bit…different” thing. So sorry for the ramble of epic negativity.
Oh, and about the Serious Stuff. Yeah, you’ve talked about it. But unless you’re both incredibly boring (which I seriously doubt), in five years’ time, you’ll probably become significantly different people than you are now? So, so long as you can keep enough things up in the air, and, if things go sour, you know when to get out rather than stick around because you’re used to it or you feel guilty or you’re at that point where you can’t imagine not being with that person, you’ll pull through okay
CONSTANT VIGILANCE.
470.
axa | March 2, 2011 at 5:30 pm
fern:
okay you guys are ridiculously cute, brb running all the way to the other side of the country so i can see you and tell you this in person ;___;
*nothing else of substance to add*
471.
Fiddler | March 2, 2011 at 5:59 pm
Nowhere in my original post did I say I am entirely convinced that he is the only one I will ever be interested in/with/like/love/shag/whatever. I merely said that I find it interesting that the general opinion seems to be “if it’s your first relationship then it’s just practice and won’t work out” and mentioned my mother’s response when it came out that Pip and I have talked about whether there’s a possibility of a future together.
I know I’m young. I know I’m going to do a shit ton of changing. I know I’m probably going to end up doing a lot of things completely differently than I planned.
I know. I get it. I’m aware and completely okay with this information.
Where I’m at RIGHT NOW is that I’d like to see about a future with this guy. If it doesn’t work out, it doesn’t, I’ll do something else, meet someone else and be perfectly happy.
Also yeah, the whole staying with someone because you feel guilty or whatever, no, just no. I like to think I have a little more character and independence than that.
Close-distance: a lot is riding on if I go to a college closer to his. We both know that. We’ve lived together for a month sailing each summer (along with 40 other people, but yeah), but we’re both very aware that once we end up closer everything could go to hell. And that’s okay. We’ll deal with it when we get there.
So guys, don’t worry. I’m not as completely naive as I probably sound (which also probably makes me sound like a self-righteous munchkin). I’m not saying THIS IS TWOO LOVE 4EVAR. I’m saying “I want to see where this goes and where I’m at right now it looks like a possibility but it’s disheartening that first relationships are just assumed to fail.” It seems to me that if someone is in a relationship that they’re happy and want to be in it shouldn’t matter whether it’s their first or millionth.
Blah.
472.
Vendaval | March 3, 2011 at 6:37 pm
I don’t have much to add to this conversation, but I’d like to say that in the few hours I got to meet Pip, he seemed like a cool, slightly eccentric dude. And it’s clear that you’re happy with him, so it looks pretty awesome for the near future. Try not to worry about the far future?
473.
Captain Fantastic | March 2, 2011 at 6:13 pm
Fiddler:
Fuck relationships. Are you shitting me? Fuck’s sake, you’ll be bored of the same cock in a year. Sure, you can be infatuated, and get dreamy eyed, and all the shite I did when I was 16. But Christ, try to entertain some semblance of reality:
Hate to burst your bubble (I don’t, really), but there is no “One”. The concept is ridiculous. There are so many people in the world that the statistics of finding someone who triggers the correct psycho-chemical reactions to support a lifelong partnership without driving you insane are so stupidly high that you’ll ALWAYS find someone else. Unless you’re a shut in or Larry David. There is no Prince Charming, no Mr Darcy- just a slew of people with whom spending time will be less of a cuntfuck than with other people. If you’re lucky, maybe some of them will actually be enjoyable in the long run.
Next- it will end. Fact. Invariably so. If it doesn’t end, it will deteriorate to the point that it should end, for both partner’s sakes. This isn’t because “it’s your first”. And it’s not “failing”, either. Relationships don’t fail. They end. And rightly so. Monogamy is an illusory value, an abstract socio-religious construct set in place with no actual bearing on the different needs and happiness of different people. The only thing you have to do- and this applies for all the above points as well- is to live in the situation that allows YOU to focus on YOURSELF more than anyone else in the world. Because no one else matters. Don’t throw away emotional energy because of an unattainable ideal.
I realize I sound like the biggest, shitfucking cynic on the planet, but nothing I’m saying is untrue. Oh, and try getting properly steaming sometime- the absence of inhibitions can say a lot about what people actually want. I recommend Stella Artois.
474.
Fiddler | March 2, 2011 at 6:38 pm
Fridgy~
“Let me mention that the The One comment is referring to finding a person who I would want to live with/marry/basically be with seriously for as long as possible. Not that there is only one person in the universe that could ever be that person to me. Bad choice of words.”
Did you miss when I said this? I’m looking for someone I can stand and then being with them for as long as it lasts, not necessarily FOREVER AND EVER. As long as it lasts. Please note this.
I realize relationships end. I realize people drift apart. I’m okay with that. My main issue here is that it’s perceived that things will end simply because it’s someone’s first relationship.
I do disagree with you about monogamy, and I don’t really enjoy drinking, nor do I have any desire to get completely drunk, but let’s not get into that, hmm?
475.
Mel | March 3, 2011 at 12:38 am
I’m not trying to be patronizing or to get you down. Just promise you won’t take it too seriously, and you won’t stay in something that’s gone to shit as a “fuck you mom I can make this work.” That’s just cheating yourself.
She’s just saying that it might not work because she’s been there before, and she doesn’t want you to get sucked into something that’s been over for months/years before it ends. And that is also why I’m trying to be realistic here.
Obviously, most people aren’t going to get into serious relationships under the mindset that they’ll end. That’s gloomy and will make it end even faster. And when everything’s all nice and happy, no one wants it to end. But when you’re planning on Futures and shit, all foreseeable outcomes should be accounted for, while keeping in mind that you owe him nothing.
First Relationships are great because there is no baggage and everything is wonderful and perfect and the feelings are all new and exciting and shit. But there’s a reason they’re called First Relationships and not Only Relationships.
476.
Ebeth | March 3, 2011 at 7:24 am
“Obviously, most people aren’t going to get into serious relationships under the mindset that they’ll end”
oops
but i’m not hugely relationshippy anyway
477.
Mel | March 3, 2011 at 10:18 am
ILY <3
478.
Dodecahedron | March 3, 2011 at 5:59 am
“The only thing you have to do- and this applies for all the above points as well- is to live in the situation that allows YOU to focus on YOURSELF more than anyone else in the world. Because no one else matters.”
Does this have to be true? It seems like an awfully depressing way to live.
I’m not saying that your significant other should be the only person you care about, because honestly my relationship is too much like that and I know it only causes pain. But I think that caring about other people is an important part of the human condition, and just because we haven’t found a happy medium yet doesn’t mean one doesn’t exist.
479.
Captain Fantastic | March 3, 2011 at 11:14 am
You cannot have a good relationship without being able to function as an independent being. Distracting yourself with relationships just turns you into an emotional addict. I’m not saying everyone should live like that all the time. But now? Absolutely.
480.
Fiddler | March 3, 2011 at 11:19 am
Being able to function as an individual does not require not caring about anyone else or avoiding relationships at all costs. It also doesn’t necessarily turn one into an emotional addict, as far as I’m concerned. It’s true there are those who feel as though they cannot survive alone, but I think that not being able to connect with anyone on an emotional level is just as damaging.
At what point do you deem it acceptable to be in a relationship or to start giving a shit about others?
481.
Captain Fantastic | March 4, 2011 at 6:11 am
When you don’t feel you want one.
482.
Fiddler | March 4, 2011 at 7:15 am
Don’t want one or don’t feel that you need one?
I completely agree that if you feel like you need someone to survive you’re probably least able to handle it.
I don’t see a problem with someone who wanted a relationship but knew they didn’t OMG NEED IT.
Perhaps when one isn’t desperately searching but is open to the experience?
483.
Ebeth | March 4, 2011 at 9:39 am
i’m with fern here, i can understand the idea that you should feel like you don’t need a relationship before you have one. in fact, that sounds like actually the best advice
but not wanting one? dude. if you don’t want a relationship don’t be in a fucking relationship. if you don’t want one, you shouldn’t be in one, so what you’re saying makes no sense at all
484.
Fiddler | March 3, 2011 at 9:47 am
I’m kind of regretting starting this whole conversation because what started as a “urg this is annoying, what’s your general opinion? rant” has turned into a “you’re just being dewy eyed and unrealistic and we’re going to try and help remedy this by treating you like you’re 12. Buck up and face The Real World, kiddo.”
If you’re going to reply, please try to get an idea of what I’m saying, actually reading what my posts say might help you out there.
Mel~ “But when you’re planning on Futures and shit, all foreseeable outcomes should be accounted for, while keeping in mind that you owe him nothing.”
When have I said that I owe him something or that if this ends I’ll die/the universe will end/other apocalyptic happenings? Nowhere, as far as I recall.
Also, I think relationships should be entered with the idea that it’ll go somewhere, or at least that an actual attempt will be made, assuming that you’re looking for more than a temporary fuckbuddy. Yes, you should accept the fact that if it ends it’s okay, but it shouldn’t be the goal at the beginning.
I don’t see a problem with looking towards the future, if it’s something that you can actually imagine. It seems far more practical to me to openly discuss what goals each partner has for the relationship, so as to avoid misunderstandings and hurt feelings down the road.
As far as staying in something I know is futile, as I said before “no, just no. I like to think I have a little more character and independence than that.” The only things I’ve done that come close to a “fuck you mom I can handle this/do what I want” situation haven’t really been that much at all. I may bitch about her to no end, but I’m not interested in suffering to make a point to piss her off. I can piss her off doing things that don’t make me suffer, believe me, I do it every day.
I get that it’s not an Only Relationship thing, but as I’ve said again and again, why is a first relationship doomed to fail simply because it’s the first? That seems quite narrow-minded to me.
Annie~ I agree with everything you said here. I’d hate to go through life not caring about anyone else, or not having anyone else care about me.
Sorry to hear that it’s causing you difficulties right now, I hope that you can find some sort of happy medium (which I also think must exist) soon.
485.
Mel | March 3, 2011 at 12:12 pm
Fiddlah-
Well, you asked for opinions, not justification of your own beliefs. It happens. I never said that it was bound to fail/end, only that they usually do. This is universally regarded as truth. It’s a bit narrow-minded to think that you’re the exception without at least a decade of happy marriage/cohabitation to back it up.
I think, overall, we’re just providing our bitchy been-there-done-that perspectives while trusting you’ll work it out. Besides, if you’re asking us about this, and providing proper lengthy responses, there’s got to be some sense of doubt.
As far as actually reading your posts go, pretty sure we all did that. Just sometimes exactness gets lost in the tubes. I was going to include post numbers in this, but then I remembered that they move with replies, so please bear with me.
Re: “When have I said that I owe him something”
I didn’t mean this in the literal sense. Well, sort-of. It’s hard to explain. Just accounting for anyone other than yourself in your life plans is giving them a huge fucking lot. It’s things like over-consideration and self-compromises that wear you down and half the time you don’t even notice it happening (god this sounds cynical) because love is awesome and life is good, so why sweat it, etc.
As far as the independent life planning deal goes, you did say:
“Living together: yes, we’ve discussed it, it goes in with the whole ‘so how could we make a future that includes and us?’”
Just sayin’.
Re: “fuck you mom”
It’s not so much a pissing her off thing as a wanting to prove her wrong and show her the goddamn love thing. Good to know it doesn’t apply though. I knew a guy who did this shit, and I was just like “dude if you feel you must prove your love to anyone ever, it’s already over.”
Re: “It seems far more practical to me to openly discuss what goals each partner has for the relationship, so as to avoid misunderstandings and hurt feelings down the road.”
I presume this is in response to my going on about becoming different people? Anyway, yeah, you’re absolutely right. This is what I was trying to get at, promise. Shit needs to be kept open because if else, all parties are working based on outdated information and tacitness. Different goals could become similar goals. Of course, there’s always the counterexample.
Sigh, this is getting too long.
Like Julia said: “I don’t think you should settle on someone just because they’re your first serious partner/sexual partner/whatever, but I don’t think you should assume that a relationship will inevitably end for the same reason.”
I think we’re all just being neutral and projecting more than we mean to. That being said. Oh god it is like I am arguing with my teenage sister. Ehh, might as well give you the same crap advice I gave her. Here goes, and then I’ll leave you to it.
You seem to have your head firmly on your shoulders. And I know everything totally sounds like I’m being condescending and shit. And you know what? Okay, I mean this, in truth. Like, no sarcasm or passive-aggressiveness: Don’t fucking listen to a word any of I or anyone else has to say, because it’d all be meaningless if you did. You’ve got to do this for yourself. If it seems like a non-terrible idea, go for it.
Annie-
Dude if it’s causing you pain, end it. Relationships are for making people happy. And having lots of orgasms.
And seriously, why the asscunting shitfuck would anyone live for anyone else? Why would anyone want someone else to live for him/her? That’s fucking scary shit. Fuck, I could never do that, either of those. That is the exact opposite of loving life.
Crap, where is Monty when I need her, she phrases that last bit better than I ever could.
486.
Ebeth | March 3, 2011 at 12:18 pm
listen to ampersand by amanda palmer. it’s basically this ^
487.
Mel | March 3, 2011 at 12:27 pm
I AM JOHN GALT.
488.
Fiddler | March 3, 2011 at 12:44 pm
Mel~ I was not asking for justifications of my own beliefs, no. I was also not asking to have my relationship put under a microscope and pulled to bits. Probably shouldn’t have included any reference to myself/my relationship in this originally, since that seems to be where it started getting out of hand. My bad.
As far as looking at a future that includes another person, I don’t see that as limiting myself. Right now I think I want that, that it would make me happy. So I’d say that’s still independent life planning, even if there’s someone else involved. Now, if it was “he wants to be together forever so I’m going to change my life to match that” that would be different and you all would have complete permission to slap me upside the head and tell me I’m being dumb.
As for the rest of your post replying to me, cool we agree, I’m leaving it there.
Re: living for others/what relationships are for:
Being happy is defs good, as are orgasms, but even the most perfect couple will have issues and unhappies at some point, that happens. As long as the unhappies are less then the happies by a considerable margin, then I’d say it’s probably fine. Working stuff out can hurt and suck but it can be worth it. That said, if the ONLY thing happening is painful “working stuff out” without getting anywhere, it’s time to reconsider.
Annie didn’t say anything about living for her boyfriend, she just said that having an imbalance in the emotional investment in a relationship can cause pain. It causes pain for both partners, both the one who feels their love isn’t being fully reciprocated, and the one who feels as though they’re in over their head with a partner who’s too serious. I’ve been both places, it ain’t pretty.
That said, I think imbalances are pretty common in relationships, even healthy and good ones. As long as neither partner is dominating or taking advantage of the other, it seems quite possible and likely that it’ll seesaw a bit and then balance out to an okay level.
489.
Dodecahedron | March 3, 2011 at 1:03 pm
Fiddler- Thanks for the hope!
I am a little more optimistic than Mel is, possibly because I’ve had less experience? But I think a first relationship can work if the people are compatible and they both work at it. My first serious relationship kind of went to hell because I was mentally unstable for the last five months of it. But I’d like to think that I have a future with my current boyfriend, although we realize things could change and as such haven’t talked about it with any specificity.
Our problems are mostly caused by our mood disorders, I think. I forgot to take my meds last Friday and it was terrible, I was like “this isn’t working, I am getting way too attached to you, I think we should break up before something bad happens because I’m clearly not capable of being in a relationship right now, but I can’t, because I’m too attached” and he was like “I don’t want to break up with you, you are basically the only thing that matters to me, and when you’re not like this you make me happy” but when I’m like that I obviously make him upset.
Since then, things have gotten better, though? It’s been a good week, and seeing him in person and on Skype always makes me happier.
490.
Dodecahedron | March 3, 2011 at 1:17 pm
AND THEN THERE WERE A MILLION OTHER POSTS
Mel
You can probably get this from the other post but I figure that miscommunication is easy over the internet so I’ll make this clear.
I’m not ending the relationship because most of the time I’m really happy with him. It’s just that sometimes we both have bad days. I think that this is something we’ll just have to deal with until it goes away.
As to why anyone would live solely for anyone else– I’d rather he do that than dying, and I know he’s going to have bad days and that’s what he’s going to think his options are during them. I am hopeful that his medication and therapy will help him. I have other things to live for.
491.
Fiddler | March 3, 2011 at 1:50 pm
Damnation, I’d signed into Gravatar and it mussed up my post. Feel free to delete the “bemusedmuser” one, as I’m just going to paste it in here.
Annie~ I have no personal experience with behavior-altering medications or mood disorders, but I think it’s pretty obvious that that can make relationships a lot more difficult.
As long as you both feel that the hard times are worth it, then I wouldn’t worry about it.
The only thing that concerns me is that he says/acts like you only make him happy when you’re okay and everything’s hunky-dory. Obviously when either of you are having problems it’s not going to be like “oh yay we’re having problems I’m so happy to be in this situation with you right now!” but it shouldn’t be “please don’t be like this because you make me happy only when everything’s great.” Support through rough patches is extremely important, in my opinion.
Not to be disparaging, but I’m a bit skeptical of relationships where one or both partners are having mental issues. I don’t know what kind of things you’re dealing with, and I’m not asking. It’s just something that you’ve mentioned before, and I think it should be addressed. However, if you’re both okay with it and can be supportive and feel up to it, then more power to you. It could be really good that there’s someone that understands what you’re going through, and you can help each other pull through.
Feeling happy when talking on Skype or being together in person is a good thing.
492.
Fortune Cell | March 3, 2011 at 2:13 pm
Well I agree with much of your post, one bit stuck out with me. “Not to be disparaging, but I’m a bit skeptical of relationships where one or both partners are having mental issues.”
“Mental issues” don’t necessarily just go away, they’re not always something you have and then you don’t have, for many people they will be with them their entire lives. So you’re skeptical of these relationships? Skeptical of what, exactly? Their validity? Excuse me, but I don’t think anyone with a “mental issue” should automatically just go take a vow of celibacy.
493.
Mel | March 3, 2011 at 2:19 pm
Oh, balls, I keep forgetting about that.
Annie – HUGS, sorry for the misunderstanding. I totally read that as “zomg codependency.” Which mind you is not desirable.
Fiddlah- Dude man they need all the endorphins they can get :]
494.
Mel | March 3, 2011 at 2:22 pm
WHAT THE FUCK HYPHENS.
495.
Vendaval | March 3, 2011 at 6:55 pm
FUCKIN HYMENS?
496.
axa | March 3, 2011 at 7:28 pm
ACQUIRE CURRENCY
497.
Ebeth | March 4, 2011 at 9:36 am
ALSO HOW DO THEY WORK
498.
Fiddler | March 4, 2011 at 10:34 am
HOW DID WE GET FROM HYPHENS TO HYMENS TO GETTING CURRENCY TO HOW DOES THAT WORK?
I have a feeling I’m displaying some unforgivable idiocy, but I’m also curious, so deal with it.
499.
Fiddler | March 3, 2011 at 2:47 pm
I’m not saying that people who are having mental issues shouldn’t take a vow of celibacy, not at all. I’m not questioning validity of feelings or attachment. I guess I’m thinking of extreme cases where things could get out of control.
As I stated, I don’t know what these issues are, nor do I have any personal experience with anything of the sort. I also said that it could very well be the best situation, seeing as it means they’d have someone who understands what’s going on and provide mutual support.
500.
Vendaval | March 3, 2011 at 7:43 pm
Fiddler: Maybe I missed it, but I didn’t see anyone answer your question; “…why is a first relationship doomed to fail simply because it’s the first?”
Statistical evidence was alluded to, but that’s not an answer to why, only proof that it is overwhelmingly the case.
I’m thinking that it all has to do with age and experience. The first time you do anything, you’re likely to fail. Relationships can be exceptionally tricky things, making it all the more likely that they’ll fail. We’re young and dynamic. Chances are you’re going to change, and the person you’re with will change in a different direction. Then there’s unknown stuff specific to your case, like living together. Hopefully, if it happens, it goes wonderfully. But it might not, and there’s no good way to predict that outcome (living on a boat doesn’t count because you won’t be living and working on a boat, with 40 other people). If you’ve never had a roommate, any roommate at all will be a new experience.
So it’s not impossible, just unlikely.
501.
Dodecahedron | March 4, 2011 at 4:17 am
I love everything you post. It is so beautifully phrased.
502.
Fiddler | March 4, 2011 at 7:32 am
You’re awesome. I just feel the need to point this out.
503.
Mel | March 20, 2011 at 3:59 am
So this guy I sorta know here made me dinner at his place last night. And I kinda spent the night. Anyway, not only was he hot, but in the morning I was presented with tea, an unused toothbrush, and a goddamn towel.
UNLIMITED ACCESS TO EVERY ORIFICE GRANTED :3
504.
Fiddler | March 21, 2011 at 10:51 am
Hahahahahahahaha brilliant.
505.
Mel | March 23, 2011 at 1:10 am
Fucking made me breakfast in bed today. Not like throwing-cereal-at-you breakfast. Like legit breakfast with fucking freshly squeezed juice.
BEST. SEX FRIEND. EVER.
506.
Fiddler | March 23, 2011 at 9:46 am
KEEP HIM.
507.
Ebeth | March 23, 2011 at 2:10 pm
oh my god keep him forever
508.
small but fierce | November 13, 2011 at 5:02 pm
oh my goodness you have to keep him
509.
Captain Fantastic | March 23, 2011 at 5:23 pm
Wtf, I make breakfast for my one night stands. ‘S nae a big deal.
510.
Mel | September 24, 2011 at 7:16 pm
Stupid boyfriend is going back to stupid another continent on stupid Wednesday and I feel lame about whining about it in stupid real life this is a bad idea isn’t it ANGST. Stupid relationships having stupid feelings and wharblgarbl sorry for this guize SADFACE.
Uhh, I’m bad at dealing. There is not enough Baileys+hot chocolate in the world to make me feel better about the fact that soon he will not usually be naked in my bed ANGRYFACE.
511.
Jadestone | October 5, 2011 at 5:39 am
oh god what even are you supposed to get people for birthdays this is not amusing how do I do this
Mel-
512.
Fortune Cell | October 5, 2011 at 7:21 am
Taxidermy.
513.
vendaval | October 5, 2011 at 11:47 am
This is correct.
514.
Jadestone | October 5, 2011 at 2:42 pm
YOU ARE JUUST TRYING TO GIVE ME AN EXCUSE TO BUY SOMETHING FROM THAT SITE
BECAUSE THEN I MIGHT AS WELL BUY MORE THINGS TO SAVE ON SHIPPING
AND THEN NEXT THING I KNOW I WILL HAVE A SHORT-FACED BEAR SKELETON AND A METEOR AND A CONFUSED BOYFRIEND WITH NO PRESENT BECAUSE I WOULDN’T WANT TO GIVE ANY OF THOSE AWAY, I MEAN SERIOUSLY, A FUCKING SHORT-FACED BEAR
515.
Vendaval | October 5, 2011 at 7:06 pm
I DON’T KNOW WHERE YOU’RE SHOPPING BUT AN EXTRA METEORITE FOR HIM SHOULDN’T BE TOO EXPENSIVE!
516.
penguini | October 8, 2011 at 5:16 am
……put a magnet in a gutter and wait for a rain storm. Retrieve magnet, scrape off all the little metal bits that are stuck to it. Those are all meteorites! You could give him a jar! of meteorites!
517.
Fortune Cell | October 8, 2011 at 6:35 am
Meteorites…
and rusty nails and dirty needles.
518.
Mel | October 5, 2011 at 3:01 pm
Sex. Give people sex.
519.
blankjar2 | October 7, 2011 at 8:10 pm
My nonexistent love life sounds so boring compared to yours. I kind of like it that way, though.
520.
Fiddler | October 8, 2011 at 5:42 pm
Boyfriend voluntarily started giving me a foot massage while I was doing homework.
asdfghjmeadfsc I love this kid. He’s so obnoxiously great. :3
521.
Fortune Cell | October 9, 2011 at 6:22 pm
Is…this not standard? I get spontaneous neck/back/foot rubs all day erry day
:smug:
522.
Ebeth | October 9, 2011 at 8:35 pm
i get them decently often, but i am notoriously ticklish
but actually the fact that he can even go anywhere near my feet is astounding. like, he can occasionally give me footrubs and massages and shit without me being ticklish at all, it’s fantastic
nobody else can, they would get inadvertently smacked in the face by my twitching
523.
Fiddler | October 10, 2011 at 6:17 pm
It is standard for us, which is awesome. :3
524.
Dodecahedron | October 12, 2011 at 10:21 am
YOU PEOPLE
AND YOUR ROMANTIC INTERESTS IN CLOSE PROXIMITY
you could set a watch by how we see each other every three weeks and every one and a half weeks in I start wondering if we should break up before deciding that I can wait to decide that until after our next meeting. it’s only been six weeks but I can recognize patterns when I see them. hopefully this time it’ll be different, but we’ll see.
525.
Mel | October 12, 2011 at 6:27 pm
LIKE 4200 MILES I DON’T EVEN WANT TO HEAR IT.
Also empathy hugs.
526.
Lizzie | October 14, 2011 at 2:04 pm
Long distance began beginning of August. I saw her for 2.5 days end of last month. Won’t see her again until Thanksgiving. 8 hours away, driving.
527.
axa | October 15, 2011 at 12:21 am
okay i typed out this whole rant that devolved into an existential crisis and i don’t want to write a novel here because it is late and i will regret it later
but my basic question is how do you feelings and also why
like it isn’t normal for human emotion to make you feel less human is it
:/ while i’m kind of glad i randomly seem to have taken a liking to random dude and school for REALLY NO DISCERNIBLE REASON AT ALL (do you sense a pattern) because that seems like a good sign of moving on from other things and i am glad that i am capable of that etc it also just brings up stupid issues and makes me generally feel like an idiot
i dunno, i am mostly comfortable with who i am!! but i feel like i shouldn’t be? like i’m not living the life i should be but i still feel pretty happy, i feel happier than i have in a while, i don’t usually feel lonely, but every so often something will just make me think of, i dunno, what i should be doing or what i wish i could be doing but it doesn’t feel like me which is disappointing
sometimes i think okay fuck it i will just be better off not having feelings that is less complicated but that mindset makes me so angry because that’s how my(sort of??long story) ex thought about things and i don’t want to think like him because that is NOT TRUE and NOT REALISTIC
and i accidentally an entire novel anyway :/ advice comments grievances all welcome idk i don’t even have a real problem i am just dumb
528.
Jadestone | October 16, 2011 at 3:06 pm
Okay firstly if you are happy: that is good. Don’t feel guilty about being happy about something even though it might not necessarily have been your original plan. Being comfortable with you who are is something to be glad about! Just because you’re not who you used to be/thought you were/thought you should be it’s okay to not be them if you realize you like how you are actually better. I am also trying to figure out how to deal with that, I agree it is weird.
wehrgdfjsklal feelings I have tried for years to get rid of them all and it never seemed to work, as much as I hate myself for saying it it is probably better to learn to deal with them (I keep putting that one off)
529.
Axa | October 17, 2011 at 5:12 pm
UGH JADE YOU ARE THE ACTUAL GREATEST PERSON EVER ;____; this is really helpful/comforting to read
like i have been thinking about this and i guess it is just being able to not feel like a moron?! idk. i feel like i should mention that i’m not SERIOUSLY ANGSTING over this guy or anything because in all likelihood i will get over it in a matter of days because WHO AM I but as a general rule i would like it if i didn’t feel stupid all the time. I DON’T KNOW!!!RFSDA
but i think it is just an ongoing process and i feel a lot better about this now.
530.
Mel | November 2, 2011 at 8:41 pm
Dudeman. Feelings are okay. They happen.and they mean you’re a person, basically. You don’t have to have yourself defined by them. Just go with the flow, if you get hurt, there’s always recklessness, delicious food, and bad TV to fix everything.
Okay so how terrible of a person would I be if I ended a relationship on the basis of “Graduate studies are going to be difficult enough without taking into account your ‘emotional needs’ or whatever” ? I am legitimately not cut out for this but I never listen to myself. These things just sneak up on you, y’know?
I can barely deal with my own life shit right now, let alone someone sending me emails and Skyping when I’m not mentally awake (no one’s fault there), and seriously everything just becomes this annoying drone and I am like WHY AM I STILL HERE. Especially with the repeated asking of life detail results that I already told him I won’t know for at least a month UGH. I’m not doing this on purpose.
I just thought I could do this, y’know? Everything is (was?) nice. I mean the life-plan thang is also problemy because I am like “dude I am going to do the things I am going to do. I will never ask you to join me, so don’t act like I’m trying to string you along.” And this was, until a month or two ago, not something I’d seen as being remotely long-term. Herp derp.
But then like all the things aside from the (temporary) distance are lovely. Like he made me care about stuff. Actively, even. Like with the paying attention instead of the just passing through I don’t give a fuck. Which was weird as fuck and something I’d forgotten how to do but then it was okay. But like woah. Also the sex is zomgunbelievable, but that might be more of an issue of he actually registers as a person and I do it sober with the putting-in-effort. Stupid caring.
Fuck the refugees finally left my house that means I can have sleep tonight and therefore stop thinking about this. In conclusion, nevermind I lied feelings are stupid and mean and I’m going to move to Alaska and be a celibate hermit.
531.
Fiddler | November 12, 2011 at 11:42 pm
So once upon a time Fern accidentally a lot of whiskey and then kind of kissed four people on the lips, and a fair amount of other people on the boobs. And was kissed on the boobs by a fair amount of people as well.
Explaining this to The Boyfriend tomorrow is going to be interesting. Maybe I just shouldn’t. Meep.
532.
small but fierce | November 13, 2011 at 5:04 pm
but maybe it’d be better to hear it from you than from other people
533.
ebeth | November 20, 2011 at 5:08 pm
FERN’S SOOOO WHISKEY
dude, you go to hippie school, just be like “i was drunk with hippies everyone just kept kissing me”
i feel like the parameters are significantly altered with the presence of alcohol. but some people disagree with me on this. have you guys discussed it at all or has it not really come up? either way, i’d at least mention it if i were you
534.
Fiddler | November 20, 2011 at 7:03 pm
It was mentioned, he asked if we were still okay (we are) and if it would happen again (nope, not likely), and made me promise I’d not let it happen again (well fine). It’s over now. Things are cool. He doesn’t hate any of my friends that I kissed, things aren’t really awkward, since we weren’t actually making out or anything.
And then a few days later I was told I actually kissed 5 people, but whatevs. They’re all babes, I regret nothing.
Much.
535.
Fortune Cell | November 20, 2011 at 9:27 pm
Just my opinion here, but it still completely counts if alcohol’s involved, and that it’s a cop-out excuse. And gender really shouldn’t factor into whether or not something’s okay or not. But it sounds like your boyfriend isn’t that bothered by you cheating on him, and that you guys are all sorted out, so good!
536.
Fiddler | November 21, 2011 at 12:35 pm
For the record, I’m not using drunk as an excuse, but as an explanation.
I’m also not copping out on gender–the “they’re all babes” comment is that all of them are attractive. So kind of the opposite direction from what you’re saying. Girls are cool, I like them. For Pip me kissing girls is just as much of a cause for concern as if I had kissed boys.
The reason I’m not hugely concerned is not because of sobriety or gender, but intention. I’m happy with Pip, and I don’t want to be with any of the others. It wasn’t a romantic thing, it wasn’t even really a sexual thing. It was a bunch of drunk people thinking it would be funny to leave lipstick marks on each other, and then it went a little farther, but was still pretty innocent.
I don’t see that as cheating on my boyfriend, and to be quite honest I’m upset that you say I did.
It was awkward later because of the implications of the actions, but not because of the intentions or even the experience.
537.
Fortune Cell | November 21, 2011 at 2:02 pm
You can’t really get upset with me for not knowing the part of the story that you didn’t tell…that is to say, how you felt it wasn’t a sexual situation. Different relationships all have different rules that, when broken, count as “cheating”. If Ebeth and her boyfriend, for instance, have decided that anything while drunk is okay, groovy, that’s not cheating. If a couple is in an open relationship where sex with other people is okay, cool, sex with other people isn’t cheating. It’s my opinion, though, that if you’re in a monogamous relationship with someone, and haven’t discussed making it monogam-ish at all, then any sexual contact is off-limits, regardless of how drunk you are or how hot the babes are. From your posts, it sounded like you hadn’t had any conversation with Pip about what constitutes cheating until after the fact. Regardless of your intentions, you had sexual contact with other people, without talking to your SO about it beforehand, and had a feeling he wouldn’t be okay with it (and he wasn’t). That counts as cheating, in my book. But honestly? As long as you and Pip are okay with what went on and everything is fine, it shouldn’t really matter what I think about it.
538.
ebeth | November 27, 2011 at 11:49 am
then again, there’s kissing and then there’s kissing. like fern said, it’s all about intent and from the sound of it (especially the lipstick marks comment) there was no sexual intent involved in any of the kisses. which in my book makes them non-sexual contact
and i didn’t say anything while drunk is okay, i said it changes the parameters. if i had sex with someone else, drunk or not, yes that would be an issue. but kissing? when you’re drunk the least confusing course of action is to go along with whatever’s happening, and least confusing = good when you’re drunk. i’ve been in situations where i’ve been kissed by surprise, went along with it for a bit because i was confused, and then realized what was happening and stopped. if i weren’t drunk, that would be an issue (why did it take so long for you to break away, etc) but since i was clearly not in a proper mental state, it was understood that there was no further intent there
539.
Fortune Cell | November 28, 2011 at 6:23 am
In her initial comment she wasn’t really clear about what kind of kissing it was. And sorry for misinterpreting your comment. Honestly, what it comes down to is what’s not okay in your relationship is the only thing that matter. But her boyfriend told her to never do it again, so it sounds like that behavior, to him, is off-limits (regardless of how sexual the situation may seem). The fact that she wasn’t really keen on telling him makes it pretty clear, to me at least, that she knew that the behavior wasn’t really cool for her relationship. It doesn’t matter how okay the act seems to us, it only matter in the context of their relationship. And it sounds like now it’s 100% clear that if she DID do that same behavior again, she’d be cheating.
540.
tetracontakaidigon | November 16, 2011 at 10:32 am
how upset is it reasonable for me to be that the new boy overslept and so I was waiting for him outside the dining hall for almost half an hour?
-dining hall is in the same building as the one I live in
-but not the same building as he lives in
-I could have slept another half hour if I had known
-we were supposed to meet at 12pm and we stayed up talking about math post-coitally until 1am the night before — is this relevant?
also, I had a dream last night where I went home and found out that Matt was considering asking out someone else, and so I had to go find him quickly and convince him to take me back before it was too late…
I know that a relationship with him is not feasible. But I am worried about what my subconscious seems to want.
also my therapist doesn’t respond promptly to text messages. she has valid reasons, like being in session with someone else probably, but still it’d be nice if I could talk to her about this sooner rather than later
541.
Fortune Cell | November 16, 2011 at 2:46 pm
It’s a pain in the ass, but don’t get pissy unless he makes a habit of it. If he’s habitually late/blow-offy then dtfma, but one time isn’t a big deal. And next time just go inside and eat after you’ve waited 10 min!
542.
tetracontakaidigon | November 16, 2011 at 5:26 pm
I called him after 12 minutes or so and he said he was just about to leave, which seemed to be a slight exaggeration on his part…
after talking to my therapist/considering my life, I told him I wanted to put our relationship on hold for a week or so, but that’s because I have more midterms than there are days of school next week and I don’t have the time for worrying about how I feel about him right now, not because I am angry… does that make sense? I think it makes sense.
543.
Jadestone | November 17, 2011 at 5:54 am
Since the oversleeping was almost certainly accidental, I’d say don’t be too angry. ANd the “about to leave” thing was possibly because he realized he was late and panicked. So, like JUlia said, unless it becomes a regular thing I’d advise not making it into a big thing right now.
But as to whether or not you should be seeing him, that is for you to think about and decide. If you need a week off that is fine. You went into this kind of fast, though I don’t doubt your feelings are valid, so taking some extra space to think and evaluate things is legitimate.
Oops need to leave for class may add more later
544.
Fortune Cell | November 17, 2011 at 7:37 pm
I still standby my original opinion, which was that getting into a FB-official, capital-R relationship so quickly after you broke up with Matt probably wasn’t the best idea. Honestly, you SHOULD be focusing on yourself right now, and being in a Relationship means you can’t necessarily. Nothing wrong with keeping things casual.
545.
axa | November 18, 2011 at 2:13 am
annie – i agree with what the much wiser jade and julia have to say about this. basically i would say rather than wondering if what you feel is unreasonable, think about why you feel that way? that sounds stupid to say, but in my experience when i tell myself NO THAT IS STUPID TO FEEL!! that doesn’t change the way i feel about it so looking at the situation in a broader sense helps. (maybe) also finals are also stressful and make everything worse so a break might be good
mel — i don’t think that makes you a terrible person at all. i know what you mean about life planny stuff too. i mean this might not be a thing now since i am responding to this so late but maybe when some of the other stressful stuff you’ve got going on calms down you’ll know better what to do?
man i feel stupid offering advice about anything, idk. but yeah hugs for both of you, i am consistently on aim so if you want to talk or anything i am here!!!
my own life continues to be devoid of anything. sigh. feeling panic-y and irrational about this probably because it is 2 in the morning and today was weird anyway. you know like this is the situation in which someone would ask me “are you more tired of loneliness or terrified of people” and i’m supposed to say gee i am more tired of loneliness!! and then go out and everything is sparkles and sunshine except actually i am more terrified of people so. whatever that means. i will feel better in like two days and regret posting this idk.
blogging while sad is not a good idea.
546.
Jadestone | November 19, 2011 at 9:18 am
That is a great way to describe that weird balance (tired of loneliness/terrified of people) and it is the land I lived in for a long time. The problem for me that the times when I was the former was when I was alone, but as soon as there WERE other people nearby that kicked the fear up a couple notches. I guess my suggestion would be try to push your comfort boundaries a little each day–if there’s some event going on you think you might enjoy but you don’t want to go because suddenly you remember how terrible you are in crowds, try to make yourself go anyway, even if just for a few minutes. If you’re miserable you don’t have to stay, but getting out there is sometimes the hardest part.
This is what I did to myself first semester of college so I wouldn’t spend all my time in my room alone, which was my natural impulse and really hard to fight. It was stressful but I got better at it eventually, and met people, and I ended up enjoying the things I went to more often than I hated them(/myself for going).
I don’t really know if this will help you but it’s what I did and I think it helped me to an extent, although I’m still terrified of new social situations, but meeting people at them sort of let me build up a buffer of “well maybe x will be there, I can talk to x, that’d be nice” and then if x wasn’t there and I couldn’t find anyone else, I’d leave. But if they were then I’d be able to chat and feel better for knowing at least one person, and through them generally I’d meet more people. And then the next time I might want to go do something but was worried about knowing people, I’d be able to say “well maybe x,y, or z will be there,” and more people = more chance of one being there and all.
I am not sure if any of this is even making sense. Just wanted to say oh god I understand that feeling, ALL THE SUPPORT AND HUGS, but also things can get better even if they are scary and stress-inducing at first. I’m rambling, I’ll stop now.
547.
axa | November 20, 2011 at 11:28 pm
omg jade i love you this is pretty much exactly right, i mean IT SEEMS LIKE A SIMPLE THING BUT SEEING IT ACTUALLY ARTICULATED IS SO HELPFUL
it’s one of those things where it’s really easy to kind of get carried away if i’m just thinking about it so yeah, definitely keeping all of this in mind for the future.
i really can’t express how much i appreciate this. ;__; you’re the best fkdsjhgas
548.
penguini | November 21, 2011 at 2:26 pm
What jade said, /exactly/.
The only thing I can say that might be useful is to befriend an upperclassman (even if they’re just a year ahead of you, or switched majors and are now considered a freshman again) who has some interests that align with yours (do what jade suggests with a club or something) and get to know them. If you spend time with them, they will introduce you to their friends and they will likely be interesting people too.
Also, upperclassmen, they know things about the system and will happily tell you about all the things you can do that are Technically Not Allowed…
TL;DR Jade is fabulous and right, listen to her.
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Jadestone | November 21, 2011 at 6:19 pm
d’aww you guys but yeah I had to work pretty hard not to just be sitting in my room all the time, which was sort of my panic-y default
but yes I agree with the upperclassman-point also. I have a lot of friends who are a year above me because I got to be pretty close with one last year (from the quidditch team), and then got to know their friends because hanging out in groups etc, and now I’m fairly close with all of them.
550.
Jadestone | November 21, 2011 at 6:21 pm
ALSO then you know people who have possibly taken classes you are currently in/majoring in something you have a class in and then you can BEG THEIR HELP. I have 3 chem major friends and between them I still might not pass organic chem but I have a MUCH better chance (since I’m too scared to get a real tutor x_x )
551.
Fiddler | February 25, 2012 at 11:31 pm
Guys what the hell. While lying on the floor with my best friend and his brother being intoxicated I gave a fucking anthropology lecture on different types of polygamy and talked about polyandry and how fraternal polyandry (where one woman marries brothers) is the most common form and how they practice it in the Himalayas. Except that I couldn’t remember that it was the Himalayas.
God damn it. I probably shouldn’t find this so amusing.
552.
penguini | February 26, 2012 at 4:51 pm
I am officially part of a triad now. I wat?
Also my school is practically all boys. Was kissed almost entirely out of the blue today. Knew the dude, knew he liked me, BUT.
BUT.
553.
Fortune Cell | February 26, 2012 at 9:53 pm
Sounds like fun! Also…holy hell this thread is long. I think it’s time for a new one. Might be worth re-commenting on that one.